


Phan One-Shots

by notanannoyingfangirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, a collection of one-shots, written back in 2014-2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 10:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 50,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16428080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl
Summary: A collection of Phan One-Shots originally written in 2014-2015 on my tumblr account @notanannoyingfangirl





	1. Meant For Someone Else

**Summary:** When Dan gets a text from someone with a wrong number, he may have accidentally made a new best friend, but it doesn’t matter because they’ll never actually meet. Instead, Dan focuses his romantic attention on the cute librarian, but when PJ drags Dan out to a party, he has to face his texting friend in the real world.

 **Genre:** fluff

 **Warnings:**  minor swearing

 **a/n:** This is my first phanfic, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, please enjoy.

 **Words:**  2,155

Dan was at the library, which was about the last place the nineteen year old law student wanted to be caught on a Friday night, trying to study for his upcoming exam. His phone vibrated, distracting him momentarily, and he slid it out from his pocket, grateful to be able to take his eyes off his coursework. Unfortunately, it was from an unknown number, so it wouldn’t be an invite out- which Dan would have had to decline anyway. Normally, Dan would just delete the text and that would be that, but he was bored and maybe chatting with a random stranger would release some of his stress. He was just about to open the conversation and read the text, when his phone vibrated again, earning him a few glares from the library’s other patrons. Shrugging, apologetically, Dan flipped his phone’s volume off before opening the text.

 **Unknown:** Did you get the Muse album I asked you to pick up?

 **Unknown:** Sorry, wrong number.

Dan almost shuddered at the anonymous texter’s use of perfect grammar, still they liked Muse, so they had that in common, at least.

 **Dan:** its fine. You like muse?

Minutes passed, and Dan was about to put his phone away, disappointed about the lack of an answer, when his phone glared to life.

 **Unknow:** Yeah, they’re one of my favorite bands…

And so the night passed with very little studying and a lot of texting. Dan and whoever he was texting had a tone in common, favorite TV show, favorite song, favorite website, movie, you name it. Dan had to admit it was a little weird that he didn’t know if the person he was messaging was some creepy old dude, or random twelve year old. It didn’t creep him out enough to stop him.

Finally forced to call it a night, Dan grabbed an armful of books to take back to his dorm. Keeping one eye on his phone, Dan dropped the books in front of the lone librarian. Suddenly, Dan found himself with an intense urge to come back to the library again.

The guy behind the counter was seriously gorgeous, with dyed black hair and brilliant blue eyes. For a second, Dan thought about introducing himself, but one look at those eyes and he lost all ability to speak.

“Is that all?” the guy asked, lazily. Dan nodded mutely. Yes he would most definitely be coming to the library more often.

Texting the unknown number in his phone had become a bit of a daily habit for Dan, while he was bored in a lecture, Dan would hide his phone under the table and happily hold debates about which season of Buffy was the best or analyze last night’s episode of the Walking Dead. But, in the back of his mind, Dan knew he would never really meet his anonymous friend, which led him to the library more often than he would like to admit.

“Seriously?” Dan’s roommate, PJ, groaned, “You’re going to the library again?”

“Yeah,” Dan shrugged, “I have to study.”

“Dan Howell, master procrastinator, studying?” PJ scoffed, “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up,” Dan said, throwing a pillow at PJ before walking out the door.

As Dan walked the now familiar path to the library, his phone vibrated, reminding him that he hadn’t texted the unknown number today. It was just a message from Chris reminding him about some frat party later that week that Dan wouldn’t be attending. Still, better late than never, right?

 **Dan:** so its kind of weird that we’ve been texting for a while and still dont know each others name right?

 **Unknown:** Yeah, I guess, it isn’t really like me to text someone I don’t know.

 **Dan:** Welllll my name is Dan and I am at Uni studing Law

Dan held his breath, maybe he was reading too much into this. Maybe his so called friend didn’t really care at all. Maybe they were a creep, which could end badly. Dan’s inner musings were interrupted by his phone vibrating and he let out a shaky breath.

 **Unknown:** Hi Dan! Wow, it’s weird to have you in my phone contacts with an actual name!!! My name is Phil, and I graduated last year with a degree in English lit, but I’m taking a Computers degree now.

Phil, Dan rolled the name around his mouth, Phil.

By the time he got to the library, Dan had almost forgotten why he had been going in the first place, Phil was occupying all of his mind. Pushing open the door, Dan was blasted by a wave of heat and the soft jingle of bells. The blue-eyed librarian looked up from his phone’s screen, smiling at Dan as he walked in, but seemed distracted behind his thick black glasses.

Realizing he had never texted back, Dan found an empty table where he could stare discreetly, and pulled out his phone.

 **Dan:** I like your name it suits you

 **Phil:** Is Dan short for Daniel? Phil’s short for Philip.

 **Dan:** Yeah but never ever call me Daniel

Dan started to write ‘or I’ll have to kill you’ but that makes him sound a bit like an axe murder, and as much as it feels like he does, he doesn’t actually know Phil. Instead, he sends the message as it was and sets the phone down.

The librarian- Dan was going to ask his name one of these days- was smiling down at his phone, and with a jolt, Dan realized he probably already had a girlfriend, or boyfriend. Besides, Dan had Phil, as unlikely as it was that they would ever meet in real life. Still, Dan couldn’t help but wish that he was the one whose texts were making the librarian smile.

Dropping a book in front of the librarian, Dan tried not to feel guilty as he jumped, startled. Handing his library card over, Dan willed his voice to work.

“Daniel,” the librarian said, “do you go by Dan?”

Dan nodded, “Yeah, most times,” he said. You can call me Daniel anytime, he didn’t say. I wonder what it tastes like on your mouth, he didn’t say. “Dan’s fine,” he did say.

“Studying Law?” the librarian asked as he scanned the books. Again, Dan nodded. The librarian looked at him, narrowing his eyes slightly, before shrugging and handing him the books.

A handful of weeks passed in this manner, during the day Dan would message Phil constantly, and at night he would lurk in the library trying to catch a glimpse of the cute librarian. It didn’t escape Dan’s attention that the stares weren’t so one sided anymore.

PJ had caught on to something, and he was like a dog with a bone, Dan knew he would be constantly fishing for details until he told his roommate everything.

 “Who are you texting?” PJ asked, lounging on his bed, “is it who you keep meeting at the library?”

“No,” Dan sputtered, caught out of the blue was he finished his latest message to Phil. Sure, he had been going to the library a ton, but his crush wasn’t that obvious, was it?

“I knew you were seeing someone!” PJ nearly shouted, “anyone I know?”

“I don’t think so,” Dan finally admitted, half hoping if he admitted to the crush PJ would leave him alone about the texting, unfortunately luck was not on his side today.

“But who are you texting? Come on, Dan, give me a name.” PJ begged, reaching forward trying to snatch Dan’s phone.

For half a second Dan considered lying and saying he was texting the librarian, but PJ was one of Dan’s best friends. Taking a deep breath, Dan told PJ everything.

“So you have your dream guy who you’ve never met in person but is texting you, and a gorgeous crush you’ve never talked to?” PJ whistled, “I wish I had your problems.”

Dan laughed, glad he had someone to talk to about Phil.

 **Dan:** do you ever wish we could meet in person?

Dan held his breath as he waited for Phil’s reply, it was a risky question, and he was surprised he had worked up the confidence to ask.

 **Phil:** Of course! You’re my best friend! I can call you that, right? Every time I meet someone named Dan I hope it’s you, no luck yet, though.

Dan felt himself blush, he was Phil’s best friend? Even though they’d never met?

 **Dan:** Meet lots of people named Dan, do you? And yeah, your my best friend, too.

 **Phil:** Well, the other week I met someone named Dan, he was studying Law and everything! I was gonna introduce myself, but I chickened out, I’m such a wimp.

Dan scanned his brain, he didn’t remember meeting anyone new recently.

 **Dan:** hmmm I don’t remember meeting anyone new. Prob wasn’t me

“Dan?” PJ called, “are you ready to go to the party?”

“Ugh,” Dan groaned as he followed his roommate out of their dorm, “do I really have to be social?”

By the time the boys arrived, the party was in full swing. Normally, Dan wasn’t one for parties, but he didn’t really have a choice, as it was PJ’s other friend, Chris’s, birthday party. Deciding he would just make a small appearance before disappearing to text Phil, Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 **Dan:** ugh I hate parties

 **Phil:** I’m at a party, too! Maybe it’s the same one.

Dan felt his stomach flutter at the idea that Phil could be under the same roof as him.

 **Phil:** My roommate, Chris, is having a huge birthday party. I think my head is going to explode!

Dan felt like someone had pulled a rug out from under his feet, how many Chris’s could possibly be having a birthday party today? Well, probably loads, but still. Fighting his way to the back door, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, Dan breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of an empty back porch. Glancing at his phone, Dan typed with shaking fingers.

 **Dan:** How weird I’m at a Chris’s birthday party, too.

 **Phil:** Where are you?

Dan felt his breath catch in his throat. This was the moment of truth, did he want to meet Phil? Of course he did, Phil was his best friend. Still, Dan was petrified.

The slamming of a door behind him made Dan jump, and turning around, Dan locked eyes with the blue-eyed librarian.

“Sorry,” the librarian apologized, “I’m looking for a friend…” he trailed off, as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and he took in the young man who stood in front of him.

“It’s fine,’ Dan said with a shrug, “I was just texting.” A choice was in front of him, Dan realized, did he text Phil and tell him where he was? Or did he stay and chat with the librarian? Making up his mind, Dan knew that Phil was the one for him.

 **Dan:** outside, come find me?

The vibration of the librarian’s phone in his shirt pocket drew their eyes to each other.

“Dan,” the librarian said softly, still reaching for his phone. Dan felt like he couldn’t speak, because there was no way in Hell that the boy he had a crush on for weeks and his best friend were the same person.

“Phil,” he heard himself whispering, and he waited for the ‘no that’s not my name, you idiot,” that he was sure would come next.

“Dan?” Phil said again, his blue eyes shining and his smile growing. His smile was intoxicating and Dan found himself smiling, too. Then Phil was stepping, closing the space between them. Warm arms wrapped around then, and Dan melted into Phil’s embrace.

Phil pulled away too soon, but his blue eyes were drinking in all of the details, and Dan could feel him memorizing every piece of him.

For a second, Dan thinks about reaching up and planting a kiss to Phil’s lips. But what they have is new, and he doesn’t want to mess it up, and he’s Phil’s best friend and maybe that’s all Phil wants to be. Still, knowing he was standing in front of Phil, all Dan could think about was kissing him. Chewing his lip, Dan let his eyes flicker down to Phil’s lips before flashing back to his eyes.

Then Phil was leaning down, his lips mere centimeters from Dan’s.

“Phil?” a voice called from inside of the house, interrupting the two and causing them to jump apart, “are you out there?”

Phil grinned sheepishly at Dan, “Yeah,” he called back. Holding out his hand, Dan let Phil wrap his fingers wrap around Dan’s own.

“You want to come inside?” Phil asked, his voice low.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Dan said with a grin, letting Phil pull him inside. It didn’t matter that they were interrupted, they had all the time in the world. 


	2. Just the Way it Was

**Summary:** Some things will never change between Dan and Phil, and some things just are.

**Genre:** Mostly fluff

**Warning:** none :)

**Words:** 2,049

“I have a surprise for you!” Dan declared suddenly, unable to keep the good news to himself any longer.

“What is it?” Phil asked, leaning closer so the webcam showed a close up of his face. Dan and Phil had been internet friends for a handful of years, but all of their contact had been through a computer screen. They were each other’s best friend and longed to meet in person, but due to Dan’s slightly overprotective parents, had never gotten the chance.

“I can come!” Dan practically screened, smiling so big his face hurt. The screen lagged just enough for Dan’s heart to jump into his throat, Phil wanted to meet him, right? Then, Phil’s face twisted into a smile so large it mirrored Dan’s own. Dan felt all of his worries fade away, Phil’s smile had that effect on him.

“When?” Phil asked, and Dan wished that he could hug his friend through the screen, because Phil looked so excited and Dan knew he looked exactly the same. Love-struck, a tiny voice whispered in his head. But no, he and Phil were just best friends. There was no way the older boy thought of him like that. Any other thoughts were stupid, he couldn’t assume anything, or worse – set himself up for disappointment.

“I have a whole list of dates,” Dan said, “so whenever works for you.”

“As soon as you can,” Phil declared, “I’ll cancel anything else.” Dan’s heart pounded, and he felt himself blush, hoping Phil couldn’t tell through the poor video quality.

So a date was decided and Dan would be off to Manchester the following month. Sometime later, after Phil moaned sadly about how he had to log off in a couple minutes, Dan did it. He said it. He hadn’t even meant to, it just came out.

“I have to go,” Phil said with a pout, “I’ll call you in the morning.

“Okay, I love you,” Dan said, offhand, then realized what had just happened. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He wished he could take it back, play it off as a joke, anything to not have Phil feel awkward or reject him. The silence lingered in the air between the two, then Phil was grinning.

“Really?” He asked, “I love you, too.” The silence that fell between the two was no longer awkward, but comfortable and familiar, because nothing had changed. Not really. That was just the way it was.

.

Dan was shaking with anticipation. He was on his way to meet Phil for the first time in person, he was excited and nervous and scared that Phil wouldn’t like him as much as he did through the computer screen, where Dan came off calm and collected, not shy and antisocial. Dan knew these thoughts were stupid, because Phil loved him. He said as much every chance he got, but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding or his legs from shaking. His mind was wandering, picturing Phil standing in front of him, close enough to touch. He imagined running his fingers through Phil’s ebony fringe, gazing into Phil’s blue eyes. Then he didn’t need to imagine, because the train was pulling into the station and Dan was grabbing his luggage and being pushed out the door in a wave of people on their way to see their own loved ones.

Then, his name was being called, and Dan was looking around because Phil was here. Phil was actually here. And then the face Dan had been dreaming about for months was in front of him, Phil was smiling and Dan was smiling and every inch between then felt like miles. Dropping his bags onto the cold floor of the station, Dan launched himself into Phil’s arms. They were so close that Dan could hear Phil’s heart beating, and he was laughing and crying at the same time because this was his best friend. This was his best friend, who was real, and warm, and who smelled nice.

Everyone around them probably thought they were a couple, Dan realized, because of how close they were pressed against each other and how long they were hugging, but Dan didn’t care.

Phil was here, Phil was real, and Phil loved him. That was just the way it was.

.

Phil never wanted Dan to leave. The visit was wonderful and exciting and full of promises spoken in the dead of night and would be over far too soon. Making the most of what little time they did have, Phil insisted on showing Dan all of Manchester and his favorite haunts. Every time he looked at the younger boy Phil had to force himself not to focus on Dan’s lips. Lips that were begging to be kissed. Was it wrong that Phil was having an uncontrollable urge to make out with his best friend? Maybe, but Phil didn’t really care.

“We should ride the Manchester Eye!” Dan exclaimed, pointing. His other hand was wrapped in Phil’s, which was normal for platonic best friends, right?

Stepping into the car, Phil fought the urge to press his nose against the glass. This wasn’t his first time on the ride, of course, but Dan’s naive innocence was contagious, and the view never failed to amaze him.

The car jerked to a stop at the top of the ride, the city of Manchester spread out below them. It was perfect and romantic, but Phil was nervous because he didn’t know if Dan would be okay with kissing.

Then Dan was saying his name and blue eyes were meeting brown. Phil was struck by the realization of what was happening mere seconds before it actually happened. Dan closed the distance between their faces, their lips, their bodies, and they were moving together in sync. It was better than anything Phil had ever dreamed about, and it was over far too soon.

Both breathless as the car descends toward the ground, Dan’s smiling and Phil’s wrapping Dan’s hand in his. Fingers intertwined and comfortable silence. That was just the way it was.

.

Under the cover of darkness, when the silence of night was broken only by two pairs of steady breath, when one had left the guest bedroom in favor of sharing a mattress with the other, whispered promises ghosted the air.

“I never want to leave,” Dan said, “I want to stay with you.” The forever hung in the air between them, unspoken, but there all the same.

“Come to University, here,” the other whispered, “then we can see each other all the time.”

Dan smiled, his teeth gleaming in the darkness, “I’d like that.”

.

Even though he and Phil talk and text and skype as often as they can, Dan knows that nothing can ever compare to the time they actually spent together. It didn’t take much for Dan to convince his parents that he wanted to go to Manchester to study Law, in fact, they seem glad that Dan’s life has a newfound purpose. While they know that Dan has a friend who lives in Manchester, they had no idea about the extent of Dan’s relationship with Phil, or the fact that they owe his newfound happiness to a stranger on the internet.

.

A year later and Dan and Phil are in a familiar situation, Dan on a train with shaking legs and Phil waiting at the station. This time, a couple things were different. Dan was accompanied by his parents, who were helping him move his stuff to his dorm. Not that he had much to take. And Phil was surprising him at the station.

This time Dan’s legs were shaking for a different reason.

Then the train is stopping and Dan and his parents are getting off. Luggage gripped in sweaty hands, Dan tried not to think about what it would be like at Uni, about having to make new friends, or struggle through more classes, instead he tried to think about how often he could see Phil, how he could hide out with his best friend, boyfriend?, whenever he wanted. Dan knew that he should probably tell his parents about the extent of his feelings for Phil, but he didn’t even know where to start. To him, Phil was just Phil.

As Dan and his parents pushed their way out of the busy train station, Dan caught a glimpse of a familiar face. Because Phil was a stupid, sentimental idiot and Dan didn’t even bother to hide his smile.

“What are you so happy about?” Dan’s father asked, following his son’s gaze. Then they were through and Dan could see Phil properly, and suddenly the only thing that mattered in the entire world was that he felt Phil’s arms around him.

“Dan,” Phil called, stepping toward the group, brown eyes meeting blue for a second time. If either of the boys noticed Dan’s parents sharing confused glances, no one said anything.

If either of the boys noticed Dan had dropped his luggage, so much like the first time they met, no one said anything.

The distance between them suddenly became too much, and they closed it. Dan threw his arms around Phil, locking them in an embrace that was far too tight for ‘just friends’, but no one said anything about that, either.

Dan realized how much he had grown, then, as he pulled back and realized his eyes were almost exactly level with Phil’s. His father clearing his throat was a welcome interruption because Dan had quite honestly forgotten they were they.  Even if all Dan wanted to do was kiss Phil, he didn’t want to do it in front of his parents. That might have been a little too much.

“Daniel,” his mother asked, sounding uncomfortable, “who is this boy?”

An unspoken conversation passed between Dan and Phil. He had to tell his parents the truth, Dan decided.

Taking a deep breath, Dan reached down and intertwined his fingers with Phil’s. “Mum, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Phil.”

.

It didn’t take Dan’s parents long to adjust to the idea, once they were over the initial shock. Dan knew that once Phil wasn’t around his mother would moan about no natural grandchildren and his father would pointedly avoid the topic, but for now everyone was okay.

“You called me your boyfriend,” Phil whispered, as they lingered outside of some store that Dan’s parents had gone into, their hands warm against each other’s.

“Is that alright?” Dan fidgeted, nervously. Phil felt his face light up with a smile.

“It’s perfect.”

.

University was hard. University was hard, and Dan hated Law but he was stubborn. So stubborn he kept trying to fit himself into a mold, even though he knew he never would.

“I hate Law,” Dan declared as he lay on the couch. Phil glanced up from his laptop, but said nothing, allowing the younger boy to open up on his own. “It’s the worst thing in the world.”

“So drop out,” Phil said, “you don’t have to do something you don’t want to do.”

“And then what?” Dan asked, full existential crisis mode enabled as he stared at the ceiling, “my parents will kill me.”

“So, we’ll tell them together, then you can focus on YouTube,” Phil said, ever Dan’s voice of reason.

“But where will I live?” Dan asked, “It’s not like I have a job.”

“You can live with me,” Phil said simply, “you practically do, anyway.”

And that was just the way it was.

.

It had been five years to the day since they met in person. It was the Teen Awards and discussing what to do for Phil is Not on Fire 6 and wearing a dress shirt with keys on it, while Phil’s is covered in hearts. And they think their being subtle with their ‘heart eyes’ and jokes about fanfiction and Nick Jonas, but they’re not and everyone knows it. It’s their anniversary and they’re just enjoying each other’s company. Maybe later will be spent with a nice dinner and a bottle of wine, or maybe it will be spent with gaming controllers and a bowl of crisps, but the details don’t matter.

All that matters is that they’re together, they was it always was, and the way it would always be. 


	3. Partners In Crime

**Summary:** After Phil’s ex-girlfriend won’t leave him alone, Dan decides to help his neighbor out by pretending to be Phil’s new boyfriend. However with personal feelings on both sides, and neither willing to admit them aloud, sometimes the lines between the pretend and the actual blur. (Dan and Phil are next door neighbors in an apartment building, neither is a YouTuber)

**Genre:** fluff

**Warnings:** minor swearing, drinking

**Words:** 2,454

Phil threw himself onto Dan’s couch with a groan.

“Are you alright?” Dan asked, as he followed Phil into the lounge. Dan and Phil were neighbors, best friends really, who had lived next door to each other in a small apartment building for about five years now.

“No, my ex-girlfriend, Jessica, keeps parading her new boyfriend around, rubbing him in my face. It’s awful, mostly because she lives right down the hall and I keep bumping into them.”

Dan knew who Jessica was from previous conversations, and though he had never actually met Phil’s ex, he always thought that Phil could do better.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said, “that sounds like it sucks.”

Phil shrugged, “I wish I had someone I could rub in her face so she won’t get all the satisfaction.”

“That’s what you need!” Dan exclaimed, “Someone new.”

Phil shrugged again, “I guess, what I really need right now is a few games of Mario Cart.”

.

Later that week, Dan woke up at ten on a Saturday, which was odd enough in it’s self, and made the decision that since he didn’t have anything nearly sweet enough in his cupboards, he would head down to Starbucks for coffee and a pastry.

Stepping into the hall, the bright lights almost blinding his sleep heavy eyes, Dan noticed Phil’s familiar lanky form talking to a girl. Phil’s back was to him, but Dan could tell by the way Phil flinched as she grabbed his arm that the girl must be Jessica.

Phil looked like he was in between a rock and a hard place; he was slowly backing toward his apartment. The slump in his shoulders clearly said ‘leave me alone.’ Suddenly, Dan had an idea. It was a risky one, and Phil might yell at him later, but at least he would get his friend away from this awkward situation.

Ruffling his just straitened hair to give it the appearance of being slept on, Dan pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the floor of his apartment before quietly closing the door. Without thinking about what he was doing, Dan wandered over to the two others.

Taking note of a bag in Phil’s hand, which was from one of their favorite bakeries that was just down the road, an excuse formed on Dan’s lips, and he willed himself to look as tired as possible.

“Hey, Babe,” He said, wrapping an arm around Phil’s waist, letting his lips skim over the skin on Phil’s neck. He felt Phil stiffen in surprise, and then relax as he realized who it was, and just what Dan was doing. “Did you get my breakfast?” Snatching the bag from his best friend, Dan made a big show of opening it and looking inside the bag, giving Phil time to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t realize you were dating again, Phil,” Jessica said, her voice almost a purr. She was pretty, with long limbs and shoulder length honey colored hair.

“Well my love life isn’t really your concern, anymore, Jessica,” Phil said, rubbing sweaty palms against his jeans.

“Hey, Babe,” Dan interrupted, “Can we go eat now?”

Sensing the real meaning behind Dan’s words, Phil nodded. “I’ll see you around Jessica.”

“Yeah see you,” Dan said, glaring at her over his shoulder as they walked away. Jessica withered under Dan’s gaze, which he tried not to feel smug about.

Phil pulled away from the arm around his waist, settling for grabbing Dan’s hand as he pulled him into his apartment.

.

“What was that?” Phil demanded, trying not to blush, trying not to stare at Dan’s bare chest. What would his best friend say if he knew how much Phil wished that the scene in the hallway was real? If he knew that Phil’s neck was still tingling from the ghost of Dan’s lips?

“You mean me saving your ass?” Dan asked, defensive, as if he had been expecting this reaction.

Phil held up his arms in surrender, “It’s not that I’m not grateful,” he amended, “I’m just surprised is all.”

Dan visibly relaxed, his shoulders – don’t focus on his shoulder, Phil scolded himself – loosening. “I didn’t know how else to help,” he admitted, “I was thinking on my feet.”

Personally, Phil thought that Dan’s thinking on his feet was pretty good, then. His chocolate hair was ruffled, like he had just woken up from sleeping on it, and his lack of a shirt was surprisingly suggestive.

“Thank you,” Phil whispered, even though Dan was the only person around.

“It was kind of fun, actually,” Dan said with a grin, “I forgot how much I missed acting.” Acting, Phil knows the word shouldn’t hurt him. Dan was just acting, and Phil knew that Dan didn’t like him like that, and the word shouldn’t sting, but it does. “I hope she doesn’t stay on you about it though,” Dan continued, unaware of Phil’s inner hurt.

“I’ll tell her we broke up,” Phil said with a shrug.

“You shouldn’t have to tell her anything,” Dan muttered, bitterly.

Phil’s only answer was another shrug, “Why were you up this early, anyway?”

Dan ignores the obvious change of topic, much to Phil’s relief. “I wanted breakfast,” he said, simply. Handing Phil his bag of pastries, Dan moved to leave.

“I have enough to share,” Phil said, offering out the bag instead of taking it back, a peace offering.

Dan smiled, “okay, fine, but I am going to go grab my shirt.”

.

For about a week nothing happened. The instance in the hallway was said to be forgotten by both parties, but sometimes Phil finds himself remembering the warmth of Dan’s breath on his neck, and Dan tries not to think about how natural Phil had fit when Dan wrapped his arm around the other boy’s waist.

For about a week Phil had successfully avoided Jessica.

The good luck didn’t last.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Jessica asked, cornering Phil in the stairwell as he was on his way to Tesco, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She hadn’t always been like this, and Phil finds himself longing for her old messy buns and how they ate cereal at midnight on the floor of his bedroom. Those days were long gone. 

He’s supposed to say that Dan broke up with him, that was the agreement, but she looks so smug and he doesn’t really know why, but he opens his mouth and a lie spills out. “He went out for lunch with some old Uni friends.”

Jessica didn’t look convinced, “Well you guys should come to my boyfriend’s party next Saturday. So I can get to know your new man.”

“His name’s Dan,” Phil said, before biting his tongue. This game was supposed to be over.

Leaning forward Jessica put her hand on his arm, almost flirtatiously, “See you there.”

.

A knocking on his front door wakes Dan up, glancing at the time; he was shocked to realize it was nearly noon. How late, or rather early, had be been up last night? Pushing his duvet off and climbing out of bed, swiping a semi-clean t-shirt off the floor and pulling it over his head. As he walked into the lounge the knocks become louder and more frequent. 

“I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling,” Dan said as he opened the door, the words dying in his throat as he realized it was Phil who stood at his door. “What’s wrong?”

Phil shifted on his feet, wringing his hands, resembling a deer in car headlights. “I know we agreed that I would tell Jessica we broke up, but she just cornered me in the stairs, and I panicked, and now we have to go to a party,” he said without pausing for breath.

Blinking sleep from his eyes, Dan pulled Phil into his apartment.

“Slow down,” he commands “tell me what happened.”

By the time Phil is done with his story, Dan has two cups of coffee ready, not prepared to start the day without the bitter substance.

“Okay,” Dan said, “So we’re going to a party.”

Phil lets out a shaky breath, relaxing slightly. “You’ll help me?”

“Sure,” Dan shrugged, “you’re my best friend.”

.

The party’s date arrives quickly, but Dan and Phil are prepared. They spent the better part of the week pretending they were a couple whenever they were out in public together. Ordering each other’s coffee, holding hands, even kisses on the cheek were familiar now. So familiar that sometimes they forgot that when they were alone in Dan’s apartment watching a movie Phil didn’t need to lay his head on Dan’s shoulder or that Dan didn’t need to kiss Phil on the cheek as he handed him his morning coffee. Or maybe they didn’t forget, they just didn’t care.

Dan knew that going to the party was probably a bad idea. It would be strobe lights and loud music and too many drunken people. But Phil is going, so Dan decided to make the most of it. As much as Dan hated to admit it, being in a ‘relationship’ with Phil was easy. They knew each other inside and out. He knew how Phil spilled his sugar all over the counter on the rare instances where Dan let him make his own coffee, and how he left all of the kitchen cabinets open after he left the room. Dan also knew the exact color of Phil’s eyes and the shape of his lips. He spent to much time studying those lips. This game was getting dangerously close to ending with Dan trying to kiss those perfect lips.

That was not the way you were supposed to feel about your best friend.

“Does this look okay?” Phil asked, stepping into Dan’s bedroom. Phil was dressed casual, in a red and blue plaid shirt with dark skinny jeans. The only thing that was different from how he usually dressed was the fact that he had on his black rimmed glasses instead of contacts.

“Yeah, you look cute in glasses,” Dan said, before biting his tongue. They were all alone, no need for cute couple things.

Phil blushed, “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Dan knew that he had dressed up slightly more than he needed to strictly for the party, wearing his leather jacket and black skinny jeans when he could have gotten away with just a t-shirt. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Dan glanced toward the door, “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

Phil shrugged, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

.

Dan was right, the party was too loud and the lights were flashing and the air stank of cheap beer. But the warm feeling of Phil’s hand in his as Dan was pulled through the unfamiliar apartment, which almost mirrored his own due to the fact of being in the same building, made everything okay.

Finding their ways to the kitchen, Dan looked around for a drink, determined that since he had to be here anyway, he might as well get pleasantly buzzed. Phil had apparently been thinking similar because it didn’t take him long to find a tray of sweets, ready for a sugar rush.

Suddenly a brunette appeared at Phil’s side, and Dan forced himself not to groan out loud. How had Phil ever dated this chick?

“Hi, Phil,” Jessica chirped cheerfully, pointedly ignoring Dan.

Phil forced a smile onto his face, “Hi, Jess.”

Dan ground his teeth, not liking how close Jessica was leaning toward Phil, not liking it one bit. Snaking his arm around Phil’s waist, Dan pulled his friend closer. So close he could smell raspberry over the cigarette smoke and alcohol scent that hung in the air. So close he could feel Phil’s sharp intake of breath. So close Dan realized he wasn’t acting. He was jealous as hell of how close Jessica was standing to Phil.

“I’m so glad you guys came,” Jessica continued, obvious to the thoughts racing through Dan’s mind.

He was jealous. He had no right to be, he and Phil weren’t actually together. But he was.

Excusing himself from the conversation, Dan pushed himself out of the kitchen. The mass of bodies in the apartment was making it hard to breathe, so Dan pushed out of the door, stepping into the cool hair of the hallway. Sitting down, his back pressed against the wall, Dan forced himself not to hyperventilate. What would Phil say if Dan went back inside, feeling like this?

.

Phil watched Dan push his way out of the apartment. Alarm pulled his mouth into a frown, and Phil set the tray of sweets down on the kitchen counter.

“Is he okay?” Jessica asked, her voice dripping with false concern.

Ignoring her, Phil followed his friend through the crowd.

“Dan?” Phil called, stepping into the hallway. “Dan are you out here?” Dan glanced up from his spot on the hallway floor. Dropping next to him, their shoulders close enough that they were touching, Phil leaned against the wall. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

Dan shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against Phil’s, “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he said, finally.

Phil forced himself not to feel bitter, it wasn’t fair to Dan. Dan had no idea how Phil actually felt and Dan thought they were acting and Phil liked fake dating more than he should and it wasn’t fair. He had been silent for too long, and Dan was staring, brown eyes shining.

“Okay,” Phil finally whispered, “you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“That’s not the problem,” Dan said quietly, so quietly that Phil wasn’t quite sure that he was meant to hear.

Then Dan was leaning closer, their foreheads touching, and Phil couldn’t breathe because this was what he had wanted for so long. Dan’s breath was warm, tickling his face, and then their lips were meeting. It was sloppy and tasted a bit like beer and a bit like pastries and it was perfect. It was better than anything Phil had ever dreamed of.

Pulling back slightly, Phil looked into Dan’s eyes, “Was that for real?” he asked, not wanted to break the spell that had settled over the two of them.

Dan nodded, “That was real.”

Bending down, Phil captured Dan’s lips with his own, smiling as he pulled back again. Then Dan was grinning and they were laughing because why had it taken them so damn long to realize how perfect they were for each other? And maybe they didn’t know what this way yet, and maybe it didn’t matter. Becoming Dan Howell’s fake boyfriend was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to him, Phil decided.


	4. Until Our Fingers Touch

**Summary:** Phil may not have lived on land for very long, but he’s pretty sure that his house is haunted. So when he meets the ghost named Dan, he’s not exactly surprised. ghost!Dan and merman!phil 

**Genre:** fluff, au

**Warnings:** minor swearing… and Dan’s a ghost so there’s that….

**Author’s Note:** Yes I am a little late for the Halloween bandwagon, but I love fics with ghost!dan so I had to write my own.

**Words:** 2,158

Phil’s house was haunted. He hadn’t been living on land for very long, honestly, and he was still getting used to the technology, but he was pretty sure that he had turned the TV off last night. Still, here he was, woken up at five in the morning by the sudden blare coming from his lounge.

Rubbing sleepy eyes, Phil grabbed the remote off the floor – how had that gotten there? - and switched the television off. Five in the morning was too early to get anything done, and too late to go back to sleep, Phil decided as he pulled on his coat. Maybe a walk outside would wake him up.

The air was brisk and it bit into Phil’s exposed flesh, something he still wasn’t quite used to. Walking had been weird at first as well, but no longer posed him any difficulty. The walk had the intended effect, and by the time Phil walked back into his flat he was wide awake.

His flat was a mess, which was the first thing that caught Phil’s attention as he walked inside. All of his cupboards were open, which could have been from his trip to the kitchen last night, and his cereal boxes were thrown on the ground. The dirty dishes that had been slowly collecting in his sink now lay carelessly on the ground, and he noticed sadly that his favorite mug, the one with the lion on it, was chipped. The mess didn’t end in the kitchen, however.

His lounge was mostly safe, mainly just pillows on the floor, but his study was a wreck. All of his books had been thrown off his shelves.

All of this led Phil to the only logical conclusion, his house was haunted. He had seen some horror movies with his human friends, Chris and PJ, so he knew the signs now that they had appeared.

The next step was to determine if the spirit was evil or not.

.

Phil’s house was safe from the spirit for a week or so, though Phil could’ve sworn that he could hear piano music coming from the guest bedroom every night before he falls asleep. He could go and check, but he knew that the only thing he would find would be the empty piano, then the music would stop. So he never checked.

Phil also had taken to making too much of whatever he was eating for dinner, leaving it out overnight. It was always gone in the morning.

He didn’t know anything about his ghost, and Phil was okay with that.

One morning, as Phil straitened his dyed black hair, two human trends he had tried and fallen in love with, he heard a loud clatter coming from the lounge.     

Setting his straightener down carefully, so as to not burn his fingers (again), Phil pulled the bathroom door open slowly. He poked his head out just in time to see a blurry figure toss one of his DVD box sets across the room. Stepping into the lounge, Phil studied his ghost.

The figure was tall, taller than Phil by maybe an inch, and had light brown hair. He looked human, except for the semi-transparency and blurry edges. He looked like he would disappear if Phil blinked.

“Are you okay?” Phil asked, the ghost jumped and for a second Phil thought that he might disappear completely. Instead, he turned around, eyes wide. Phil’s breath caught in his throat. The boy was seriously gorgeous. His chocolate hair was cut into a fringe that mirrored Phil’s own, and his eyes were the color of coffee.

“You can see me?” the ghost asked, “no one can ever see me.”

Phil shoved his hands into his pockets, “I can see you,” he whispered, not sure why, but because talking normally seemed too loud. Then he blinked, and the ghost was gone.

.

The next morning, Phil walked into his kitchen, surprised that his cupboards were all closed and that his ghost was sitting on, or rather floating over, one of Phil’s barstools.

 “I’m sorry that I freaked out, yesterday,” the ghost said, “no one’s been able to see me before.”

Phil shrugged, a human habit he had picked up on, “I’m not like most people,” he said as he sat on the other barstool.

“Obviously,” the ghost said “I’m Dan.” He reached out as if to shake Phil’s hand, before pulling it back quickly.

“Phil,” Phil said, trying to ignore how uneasy Dan looked.

“I’m sorry, I’m kinda haunting your place,” Dan said, sounding sincere.

Not for the first time, Phil found himself wondering if Dan died here.

“You should be sorry for nearly breaking my TV,” Phil laughed, pushing away the darker thoughts.

Dan shrugged, his form blurring as he moved, “it’s your fault that your remote doesn’t work.”   

.

They actually had a lot in common. Dan, too, had a fascination with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Muse and Toxic by Britney Spears. These things were semi-new to Phil, having been introduced to them by Chris and PJ not long after he started living on land, but for Dan they were things he had loved when he was, well, alive.

Dan didn’t like to talk about why he was the way he was. Phil didn’t push him, but he had to admit that he was kind of curious. Phil learned that Dan could touch things, but only if he concentrated really hard. Phil learned that Dan could actually leave the flat, but they got pretty weird looks when it looked like Phil was talking to thin air when they were out in public.

He hadn’t told Dan what he was yet. Sure, Dan had gotten used to the fact that he was dead, but still alive as a ghost, but how would Dan react if he knew other supernatural creatures really existed?

Phil was lying across the couch, his TV blasting an old episode of Doctor Who, and Dan was hovering a few inches above the floor. The back of his head was nearly touching Phil’s stomach. Nearly, because Dan never actually touched Phil. He had touched Phil’s things, his presence in the flat, their flat, was obvious.

It was weird because Phil had longed for a human life for so long, and now that he had one, all he could think about was a supernatural boy who had died who knew how long ago.

His fingers itched to bury themselves in Dan’s curls. He usually didn’t have curly hair. It was new. So was the urge to touch him. These feelings were new.

“How come you have curly hair?” Phil asked.

Dan turned to look at the other boy, “It’s naturally like this. When I was alive I always straitened it, so I can usually focus and it will look strait, but I didn’t bother today.”

“Oh,” Phil said, wringing his hands so they wouldn’t reach out and involuntarily pass through Dan.

.

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” Phil asked Dan as he poured them two bowls of cereal. Normally it took Dan almost an hour, but he would eat it. Sure, Dan didn’t need to, but sometimes Phil thought it was nice to pretend that Dan was still alive.

“You’re my best friend, too,” Dan said with a grin.

“I want to show you something,” Phil said, “and I need you to promise not to freak out.”

The easy grin slid off Dan’s face, “What is it?”

 Phil held up his hands, “just wait here.” Then he walked into the bathroom, turning on the bathtub’s faucet. Stripping down, Phil lowered himself into the warm water. As soon as his legs were completely covered and he felt them changing back to their natural state, he called for Dan.

Dan knocked on the door- how much energy had that simple action taken him? - and called, “Phil? What’s wrong?”

Phil glanced at his tail, its blue-grey scales looking dull in the poor bathroom lighting. Was he really going to tell Dan his deepest secret? Or rather, his second deepest secret.

“You can come in,” Phil said, holding his breath.

The door opened slowly- why hadn’t Phil realized how much energy this stupid plan would take Dan? - and Dan popped his head in. “Phil what’s going on-“The words  cut off as Dan took in Phil’s appearance. “What the hell?”

Phil grinned weakly, “You’re not the only supernatural thing in this flat,” he said, gesturing toward his tail, which was hanging over the edge of the bathtub.

Dan looked like he was going to throw up, “you’re part fish?”

Phil shrugged, “yeah, that’s probably why I can see you, we both aren’t human.”

Dan let out a shaky breath, “Okay. You’re part fish.”

.

Dan takes the news surprisingly well. He asks Phil about his old life a lot, which Phil happily tells him about. In turn, Dan tells him about human customs like Christmas and Boxing Day and Halloween. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, someone who wouldn’t call him a freak or hermit when he didn’t know who Santa Claus was.

Dan still hadn’t touched him. Phil tried not to want him to.

It was raining, not an unusual occurrence, but still something that made Phil want to run outside and watch just because he can. But Dan hates the way it feels as the rain passes through him when he forgets to focus on actually getting wet, so they stayed inside.

“We should watch the Little Mermaid,” Dan said with a smirk.

“I think we should watched Casper: the Friendly Ghost,” Phil shot back, picking up the movie from the stack of ghost movies he had bought back before he knew who Dan was. They were his references on what to do.

“Fair enough,” Dan said with a smile as he pulls the DVD out of its case. By the time the movie starts Dan is pale, his edges blurring more than normal, but he’s smiling in triumph because a few weeks ago he could barely pick up the TV remote.

The credits roll and again Phil has to fight the urge to run his fingers through Dan’s hair.

“Hey, Dan,” Phil said, sitting up on one elbow, “What would happen if you tried to touch me?”

Dan turned around, his brown eyes meeting Phil’s blue ones, “I don’t know. You might go right through me.”

“Can we try?” Phil asked, biting his lips, “I mean we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but…”

Dan took a deep breath, “No, I want to. I’m just scared. I don’t want to try and you just go right through me.”

“That won’t happen,” Phil said firmly, “I could never pass right through you.”

Slowly Dan reached his hand out, resting it against the side of Phil’s face. It felt weird, Dan’s hand was solid, but cool, not warm like a normal human’s.

“I can feel you,” Phil whispered excitedly. Then Dan was leaning forward, pressing their lips together. Dan’s lips were like his hand, solid and cool and like nothing Phil had ever felt before, it reminded Phil of the ocean, calm and cool, always changing.

.

Phil flopped onto his bed. Dan had kissed him. Dan had touched him. Had that actually just happened? After the kiss, Dan had been pale and blurry, even more transparent that usual, but he was okay. Phil had felt him.

Phil’s eyelids fluttered, it had been too long since he had slept properly. He usually stayed awake with Dan, but Dan was in the guest bedroom, his bedroom, meditating or something to regain his strength, so Phil allowed himself to fall asleep.

He awoke to the soft piano music that he used to fall asleep to. Dan’s soft piano music. Pushing off his duvet, Phil’s soft footsteps seemed to echo through the flat as he walked to Dan’s room.

Dan glanced up, his fingers pressing gently on the keys. “Hey,” he whispered as the last of the music hung in the air.

“Hey,” Phil said as he sat beside Dan on the piano bench, barely an inch between them. Phil wanted to put his arm around Dan’s shoulder, but he knew that any physical affection would have to be initiated by Dan. So when Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, the room could have been illuminated the room.

“What does this make us?” Dan asked, turning to look up at Phil.

The word boyfriend lingered on Phil’s tongue, but they had only kissed once and maybe Dan wouldn’t be okay with that. So instead Dan turns his blue gaze to meet Dan’s brown and means every word when he says, “the luckiest guys in the world.”

Dan smiles, and reaches up to meet Phil’s lips with his own. So even though the simple action leaves him pale and blurry, he agrees, “the luckiest guys in the world.”  


	5. Nodding Off

**Summary:** Dan has the bad habit of falling asleep during 8 am morning lectures, luckily the guy who sits behind him always wakes him up.

**Genre:** fluff, au

**Warnings:** none :)

**Words:** 1,320

Dan had almost fallen asleep - again. That was the problem with having a lecture at eight in the morning on a Monday, there was no way he would ever be awake. Luckily the guy behind him, Dan had been in his class for ages but still didn’t know his name, had poked him in the back. Snapping his head up, Dan shot the guy a grateful smile before turning back to face the teacher. This wasn’t the first time the boy had woken Dan, either, in fact, Dan wasn’t sure he would be able to have a passing grade if not for him.

The rest of the lecture passed in a tired blur, and by the end Dan had nearly fallen asleep again, twice, both times awoken by the other boy poking him in between the shoulder blades. As the class was dismissed, Dan grabbed his books and turned to look at the other boy.

“Hey, thanks for waking me up all the time,” he said, looking at the guy properly for the first time. He had black hair, dyed, cut into a fringe that mirrored Dan’s own. His blue hoodie was pulled up, giving him the ‘too cool university student’ vibe, but his blue eyes sparkled with more of a childish delight.

“No problem,” the other boy said, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket, “this lecture’s pretty boring.”

Dan grinned, holding out his empty hand, “Dan Howell.”

Pulling one hand out of his hoodie pocket, the other boy shook Dan’s offered hand, “Phil Lester.”

“I think I owe you a coffee, Phil Lester.”

.

Phil’s taken to sitting next to him during their Monday morning lecture. It turns out that they actually have a lot in common, and more of the class is spent talking in hushed whispers than sleeping. Honestly, Dan kind of looks forward to Monday mornings, now.

On this particular Monday, Dan had woken up extra early to stop at Starbucks and came to class bearing the God-given gift of coffee.

“Thank you,” Phil breathed as he opened his eyes, lazily.

Dan leaned forward, resting his chin in the palm of his hand, thoughtfully sipping his own cup of sugar laden heart failure. “No problem.”

“I’m starving,” Phil complained as the lecture drew to a close. Dan nodded in agreement.

“So am I.”

“Do you want to go get lunch?” Phil asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

“Yeah, let’s go get lunch,” Dan said, trying to keep the stupid grin off his face.

.

They usually don’t hang out after class. They don’t have each other’s numbers. Dan couldn’t even tell you what degree Phil was getting, so his stupid schoolgirl crush was pointless. Not to mention the fact that Phil was probably straight.

They were just two friends going out for lunch, not exactly a date.

Still, his stomach was filled with butterflies.

They ended up going out for pancakes, having determined that ten in the morning was probably too early for pizza.

They were just two friends going out for breakfast, Phil’s eyes just happened to be deep enough to drown in.

.

“Dan,” Phil whispered, poking his friend, “Dan.”

Dan’s head snapped up, he really needed to stop falling asleep in class. Dan blushed, heart rushing to his face as he realized that Phil had woken him up again. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, Dan tried to focus on the lecture, really, he did. Still, he found himself watching Phil out of the corner of his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

“What do you mean?” Dan said, confused.

“You’re staring,” Phil said.

“Oh, sorry,” Dan said, trying to stop blushing.

“I didn’t say I had a problem with it,” Phil said with a smirk, still not turning to face Dan. Hold up, was Phil flirting with him?

“What?” Dan squeaked, feeling like a deer in car headlights.

Turning his head, Phil flashed Dan a grin, “I said I don’t mind.” Dan had never been very good with flirting, he was never quite sure what to say. Swallowing nervously, rubbing sweaty palms on his jeans, Dan tried to think of something witty to say. Instead Phil cut him off before he could open his mouth, sliding his open textbook between them. “Want to be partners?”

“Sorry?” Dan asked, feeling like a fish out of water. Phil grinned, lazily, as if he was proud of his effect on Dan.

“Do you want to be my partner? For the writing assignment?”    

“Um, yeah, sure,” Dan said, cursing himself for falling asleep, cursing Phil for making him feel all flustered.

“What do you want to write about?” Phil asked, and somehow he made talking about school work sound sexy, maybe that was just his baritone voice.

Dan shrugged, trying to think of a topic, but he didn’t even know what the assignment was.

“Do you want to meet at the library tomorrow?” Phil asked, and Dan had to remind himself that working together on a project was not the same as a date.

“Okay,” Dan said, nodding a bit too eagerly.

  “It’s a date,” Phil said, and Dan tried not to blush.

.

The library was large and dusty and it smelled like books. Dan had never been there before, but he decided that he liked it. Phil was already there with his stuff spread across one of the tables.

Dan pulled out the chair across from him, tossing his own stack of books on the table.

“Hey,” he said, trying to sound casual.

“Hi, Dan,” Phil said, and shivers danced down Dan’s spine at the sound of Phil saying his name.

They actually wrote really well together, the two different styles blending in a way that made it so much better than anything either had written on their own. The notebook they were using was a swirl of sentences, their handwriting sprawling across the page.

“You should write more often,” Phil said as he handed the notebook back to Dan, “you’re really good.”

Dan felt his face flush from the praise, “thanks, so are you.”

Phil grinned, pushing his fringe out of his eyes, “you’re doing it again,” he said.

“What?” Dan asked, what was he doing now?

“The staring,” Phil said, and Dan dropped his head to the table. He knew his face was probably bright red. “Hey, it’s okay. I like it when you look at me.”

“Really?” Dan asked, picking his head up.

“Yeah,” Phil grinned, “Heart-Eyed Howell.”

“I hate you,” Dan groaned, dropping his head back down.

“No, you don’t,” Phil protested.

“No, I don’t, Dan agreed, under his breath so quietly that he wasn’t sure Phil heard him.

.

Outside was cold, snow falling in thick sheets. Already, Dan could feel it melting into his hair. The white specks stood out on Phil, contrasting with his black hair. The wind bit into their faces, leaving behind red noses and cheeks.

“It’s freezing,” Dan complained, rubbing his arms.

“I think it’s beautiful,” Phil said, staring at Dan. Dan blushed again, stupid Phil and his ability to make him blush.

Dan really wanted to kiss him. Instead he was hit in the face by a snowball.

“Phil,” Dan whined. Phil was doubled over laughing.

“You should’ve seen your face,” walking over to the younger boy, Phil grabbed the front of his jacket, pulling them together.

  Their breath was visible in the air, puffs of white drifting into the sky. They were close enough that Dan could see flecks of yellow in Phil’s eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Phil said, reaching up to press his lips to Dan’s.

Dan felt like he was going to float of the earth if Phil let go of his jacket. His hands buried themselves into Phil’s hair.

Phil pulled back too soon, though they were both breathless.

“I’m so glad I always fall asleep in class,” Dan said, resting his forehead against Phil’s.  


	6. To Hear You Play

**Summary:** Phil ends up at a romantic restaurant all alone, luckily the piano player, Dan, is the perfect eye candy.

**Genre:** fluff, au

**Warnings:** minor swearing, implied smut

**Words:** 3,145

**A/N:** Wow, this was a long one! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

The soft sound of piano music filled the air, candles flickering on the tables, the whole place screamed ‘romantic’. Unfortunately, Phil was eating alone. There was something depressing about eating alone at a fancy, romantic restaurant, even if you were only there to review the food for your blog.

It was taking too long for his dinner to arrive, and Phil was sick of the atmosphere already, why had he thought this would be a good idea? It was obviously the kind of place you take a date to. He was debating just dashing out, this second, and going out to Starbucks instead, when his wandering eye latched onto the boy playing the piano.

Even in the dimly lit restaurant, it was clear that he was gorgeous – and just Phil’s type. Dark brown fringe cut into a style that mirrored Phil’s own, leather jacket and black skinny jeans that were obviously out of place in this world of dress shirts and ties. Phil didn’t feel the need to leave the restaurant quite so soon.

The piano music was breathtakingly good. It was fluid and emotional and raw. So even after Phil’s long awaited food was gone and he had no reason to be lingering, Phil found himself watching the piano boy.

The restaurant got a good review.

-

Phil found himself going out to eat much more than his blog demanded, spending more time at the romantic restaurant than he would care to admit. He couldn’t help it; he loved listening to the piano music almost as much as he loved watching the boy’s fingers fly across the keys.

It was a Tuesday night, which meant that Phil was seated at his usual table, which was tucked away into the shadows, but close enough to the small stage that he could study the piano player. He was sipping a coffee, having poured so much sugar into it that it couldn’t really be considered coffee, waiting for the piano to start. The piano player, whoever he was, was late.

Phil’s inner musings were interrupted by the chair across from him scrapping across the floor. Phil though he must be dreaming because piano boy was sitting across from him. He was even cuter up close, with coffee colored eyes and dimples. He was dressed in a black shirt, its long sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

“Can I sit here?” he asked, though he was already sitting.

“Yeah, no one’s sitting there,” Phil said, mentally slapping himself. Piano boy probably thought he was weird for coming to a romantic restaurant all by himself. Why couldn’t Phil just seem like a normal person for once?

“Yeah, I know,” the piano boy said with a grin, his teeth shinning like the keys he played so well, “I see you here all the time.”

Phil knew it was his turn to speak, but his brain had short-circuited. Piano boy noticed him?

“And I know you can’t be here for the food, because, honestly, it’s not that great,” he continued. Phil laughed, his nerves settling. Sure, this guy seemed funny and awesome and perfect, but he was probably just as nervous as Phil.

“No,” Phil said, smiling softly, “it’s not for the food.” He may have been wrong, but he thought that piano boy was blushing.

“I’m Dan,” piano boy said, leaning back in his chair and fixing his hair.

“Phil,” Phil said.

“Why do you come here, Phil?” Dan asked, his tone suggestive.

“To hear you play,” Phil said honestly. Dan didn’t appear to be expecting such a straightforward answer, and he leaned forward again.

“Really?” He asked, sounding excited. Phil found himself nodding.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Phil asked, finding his voice.

Dan grinned again, and god was he attractive, fussing with his hair some more, “Hell yeah, I would kill for some Starbucks right now.”

-

The two boys found themselves at a small Starbucks just down the road, both ordering the same Carmel drink and joking about good taste. Dan led Phil to a small, leather couch, sitting close enough that their thighs touched.

“Do you go to university here?” Dan asked, sipping his drink.

“Yep,” Phil nodded, “I’m getting my post graduate in Theatre, Film, and Television. What about you?”

“Oh, um, it’s my gap year,” Dan said, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Gap year?” Phil asked, surprised. Gap year referred to the year after high school, making Dan only eighteen years old. “You look older than eighteen.”

“It that okay?” Dan asked, “That I’m only eighteen?” Phil thought about it for a minute. He really liked Dan, and even if his mother would kill him for it, Phil found himself nodding.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” he said honestly. Dan looked relieved.

“I was really worried you’d say I was too young, or something,” Dan admitted, “Because I knew you were older.”

The topics changed to less serious things, like favorite movie and TV shows and how much they liked the new season of Doctor Who. They had a lot in common. Dan was telling a story, his arms waving, when he was interrupted by a phone’s vibrating.

Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket, glancing to see who it was.

“Shit!” He said, suddenly, “I totally forgot I was supposed to work the late shift tonight.” Dan launched himself off the couch, turning and offering Phil a hand. Phil let the other boy haul him up, his hand tingling where Dan held it. “I’m really sorry I have to leave so soon,” Dan apologized, not moving his hand from Phil’s.  

“Can I come listen to you play?” Phil asked, blue eyes wide.

“You want to come listen to me play?” Dan asked, surprised. Phil nodded and Dan shrugged, “sure, come on.”

-

“You were amazing,” Phil said as he walked Dan back to his apartment. Dan was blushing, their hands brushing as they walked.

“Thanks,” Dan said, “I’m glad you didn’t leave at the coffee shop.”

Phil felt himself blush, “Me too.” In a sudden rush of confidence, Phil reached over and wrapped his fingers around Dan’s. The younger boy squeezed his hand, but slowed his pace.

“This is my place,” Dan said, gesturing to the small apartment building he had stopped in front of.

“Can I give you my number?” Phil asked.

Dan nodded, handing over his phone. “That was the most fun I’ve ever had,” he admitted.

“Me too,” Phil said with a small smile.

Dan glanced toward his apartment while Phil typed his number into Dan’s contacts. “Do you have to go?” Dan asked, “Or do you want to come inside?”

“I would love to come inside.”

Dan’s apartment was small, but comfortable.

“Sorry for the mess,” Dan apologized as he shoved dirty dishes into the sink.

“Its fine,” Phil said, in fact it was cleaner than Phil’s own place.

“Super Mario Cart?” Dan asked, leading Phil into the lounge.

“Sure,” Phil replied, “you’re going down.”

Some hours later, after Dan had creamed Phil during every race, and Phil knew that it was late and he should have left an hour ago, the two boys lingered in Dan’s doorway.

“I’ll text you,” Dan was saying.

“You better,” Phil said with a grin, trying to muster up the courage to kiss the younger boy. The pair lingered in the hallway, the silence falling around them.

Dan cleared his throat, shifting as if he wasn’t sure what to do or say. “Bye,” he finally settled for, giving Phil a small wave.

“Bye,” Phil repeated, mirroring Dan’s wave as well as his words. Turning, Phil headed down the hallway toward the lift, glancing back just in time to see Dan smack himself in the face.

“I should’ve kissed him,” Phil muttered.

-

Phil found himself walking the now familiar path to the restaurant. He hadn’t posted on his blog since he saw Dan for the first time, but Phil couldn’t really bring himself to care.

A bell jingled cheerfully as Phil opened the door, breathing in the familiar scent of fruity wines and baking bread. Dan was already seated at the piano, his hands flying with practiced ease.

Earlier that morning Dan had texted Phil, asking if he wanted to join him for dinner after he got off work. Phil had agreed, of course, but showed up an hour before Dan would be done, so he could listen to the now familiar music.

Sitting at his usual table, ordering a cup of hot chocolate, Phil waited for Dan to finish.

“You came,” Dan said with a smile as he dropped into the seat across from Phil forty-five minutes later.

“Of course,” Phil replied, “Where to you want to go to eat?”

Dan scratched the back of his head, “do you want to come back to mine? I can cook.”

His caramel-coffee eyes were wide, and it occurred to Phil that Dan probably didn’t have a lot of money for going out to dinner.

“Sure,” Phil said with a grin, “what are you making?”

-

It turned out the extent of Dan’s cooking was pancakes.

“You have to flip them,” Phil said, snatching the pan. Holding it out in front of him, Phil tossed the pancake into the air. Catching it in the pan, Phil smiled smugly at Dan.

“Was that a challenge?” Dan asked, smirking.

When the next pancake was ready to be flipped, Dan grabbed the pan. Tossing it in the air, Dan promptly dropped it onto the floor. Covering his mouth, Phil giggled at the look on Dan’s face.

“I win!” Phil declared.

“Whatever,” Dan grumbled.

Even with Dan’s poor pancake flipping skills – he dropped at least two more – they end up with a good amount of pancakes. They are the best pancakes Phil’s ever eaten.

“That was delicious,” Phil said as he lay across Dan’s couch, his long legs dangling over the end. Dan was sitting on the floor, his head level with Phil’s chest. Phil’s hand was itching to tangle itself in Dan’s hair.

“Those were the best pancakes ever,” Dan agreed. “Mario Cart rematch?”

“You’re on!”

 

-

It was late; the two boys had abandoned video games in favor of going outside. It was a clear night, thousands of stars twinkling in the sky. There was a park not far from Dan’s flat, and Dan had pulled Phil along on of the paths that Phil could barely see. Now they were laying in a clearing, the soft grass tickling the back of Phil’s neck.

“Hey, Phil,” Dan said, sitting up on one elbow.

“Yeah?” Phil said, sitting up to mirror Dan. Instead of saying anything, Dan leaned forward, pressing his lips to Phil’s. It was gentle and sweet and maybe a little messy because neither had very much experience and over far too soon. Phil’s lips were tingling, kissing Dan was the best thing he’d ever felt.

“Was that okay?” Dan asked, blushing. Instead of answering, Phil captures Dan’s lips with his own. Their mouths moved together, sparks of electric seeming to fill the air. Pulling away, both breathing heavily, Phil rested his forehead against Dan’s.

“That was perfect.” 

-

It was a Tuesday, which meant that Phil was at his usual table, listening to his boyfriend play the piano. It had been almost a month since Dan had kissed Phil for the first time.

Today was special; today Dan was coming with Phil to meet his parents after Dan got off work. Phil was nervous, he knew his parents would like Dan, of course they would, but they would not like the fact that he was only eighteen.

Both boys were dressed nicer than usual, Phil in a nice dress shirt and black skinny jeans, Dan in a blazer over one of his wacky t-shirts – he even remembered a belt.

As Dan finished, the last of the music hanging in the air, he stepped off the small stage only to be greeted by an arm around his waist and a kiss on the cheek.

“You were great,” Phil said, smiling at his boyfriend.

“Thanks,” Dan said, blushing slightly, “Where are we meeting your parents?”

“At the pizza place down the road,” Phil said, using his arm around Dan’s waist to pull his in the direction of the door.

The pizza place was small, painted red. It was mostly empty, with only a handful of customers. Phil’s parents were sitting at a booth, both nursing a cup of coffee.

Grabbing Dan’s hand, Phil pulled him over to his parents. He could feel Dan’s hand sweating in his own, and gave Dan’s hand a small squeeze.

“Hi Mum, Dad,” Phil greeted, “This is my boyfriend, Dan.”

“Hi,” Dan said, giving a slight wave with the hand he wasn’t clutching Phil’s in.

“Hello, Dan, it’s lovely to meet you,” Phil’s mother said.

-

Phil had been right; his parents had really liked Dan. When Dan mentioned his age, Phil’s mother had narrowed her eyes, but Phil jumped in that it was almost Dan’s birthday, so really, he was almost nineteen.

“I think that went well,” Dan said as they were lounging in his flat afterwards.

Phil nodded, “I told you they’d like you.”

“I was still nervous,” Dan admitted.

“You spoon!” Phil said with a laugh, “Now it’s my turn, right?”

Dan grinned at him, “yeah, I can’t wait to hear what my family has to say when they find out I’m dating a twenty-two year old.”

“You make me feel so old,” Phil groaned.

-

It was Dan’s birthday, and Phil had insisted on taking him out to dinner. Now they were making out in the backseat of the taxi, and Phil reminded himself to tip the driver extra for not saying anything. Dan’s hand was fumbling with the buttons on Phil’s dress shirt. Phil had the driver take them back to his place, because it was closer. Dan had never actually been to Phil’s flat, and Phil was trying not to be nervous.

Dan’s lips on his were a great distraction.

The cab slowed to a stop, and Phil all but tossed the driver a handful of pounds, not waiting for change. Pulling Dan with him, into the flat, their lips never separating, Phil pushed Dan’s blazer off, leaving it on the floor where it fell. Dan had finally succeeded with the buttons and Phil’s shirt, and only pulled away from the kiss to pull his t-shirt off. Phil followed his lead, and slipped his own shirt off.

“Bedroom?” Dan asked, breathless. Grabbing Dan’s hand, Phil pulled him further into the flat.

-

The next morning Phil awoke to the soft sound of breathing. Blinking sleep from his eyes, Phil realized why he felt so warm. His arms were wrapped around Dan’s waist, their legs tangled. Dan’s face was inches from his own, brown eyes still closed as his chest rose and fell with every breath.

Gently climbing out of bed, so as to not wake the younger boy, Phil wandered into the kitchen.

By the time Dan walked out of Phil’s bedroom, rubbing his eyes, Phil was finishing the pancakes he was making.  Dan was still shirtless, and Phil tried not to let his eyes linger on the finger shaped bruises that spotted his boyfriend’s waist.

Dan’s hair was curling at the end; something Phil thought was incredibly adorable.

“Morning,” Phil said, waiting for his coffee to cool.

“Phil?” Dan asked, “Why is your kitchen a mess?”

“What’s wrong with my kitchen?” Phil said, glancing around. Dan’s only response was to raise his eyebrows.

“Why are all of your cupboards open?” Dan asked. Phil just shrugged. “And the sugar all over your counter?”

Stepping forward, Dan closed the distance between them. Bending down, Phil rested his forehead against Dan’s. “At least I don’t have piles of clothes everywhere,” he teased.

“No, but what about all of your socks?” Dan asked, wrinkling his nose.

“Actually shut up!” Phil said, mock glaring at his boyfriend.

“Make me,” Dan shot back, placing his hands on Phil’s waist, pulling him even closer.

Pressing a quick kiss to Dan’s lips, Phil turned back to the breakfast he was making. Dan pouted as Phil pulled away, but smiled when Phil handed him a cup of coffee.

“I could get used to this,” Dan said.

-

Dan had taken to staying at Phil’s flat more than he was at his own. Phil didn’t mind, he loved having Dan stay with him, loved falling asleep in Dan’s arms. Phil loved everything about Dan. He loved the way Dan made fun of him for not being able to make a cup of coffee without spilling sugar everywhere, loved the way Dan would forget to straighten his hair, loved the way Dan would hog all of the blankets so that they had to cuddle all night if Phil wanted under the duvet.

He just hadn’t told him yet.

Phil was sure that Dan knew how he felt about him. It wasn’t like Dan had said anything, either.

They were once again at the restaurant where they had met. Dan was on stage, about to start playing, and Phil at his usual table. It had been six months since they talked for the first time.

Dan stretched his arms, cracking his fingers. He glanced around the restaurant, and cleared his throat into the microphone. A handful of couple’s heads shot up, snapping toward the stage, Dan had never spoken before he played.

“I would just like to say,” Dan said, clearing his throat awkwardly, “that I wrote this song myself. I actually wrote it for my boyfriend, so, um, Phil this is for you,” then he began to play.

The song was beautiful; it was the most beautiful thing Phil had ever heard. Dan pressed the keys softly, the music filling the air. Usually quite conversation would filter through the restaurant, today the audience was spellbound.

“That was gorgeous,” Phil said, later, as Dan stepped off the stage. Dan blushed, his face glowing bright red.

“Thanks, I was just going to play it for you at home, but…” Dan explained, before Phil cut him off.

“Home?” Phil asked, feeling a grin fix itself onto his face. Dan blushed again, shoving his hands into his pockets.  

“Yeah,” he said, “home.”

It occurred to Phil, then, that maybe he and Dan had been saying ‘I love you’ all along. It was just hidden inside other phrases such as a joking ‘I hate you’ or ‘it’s late, go to sleep’. He didn’t want to hide it anymore.

“I love you,” Phil declared. Dan reached up, pressing their lips together. Pulling away, he grinned shyly.

“I love you, too,” Dan said, chewing on his lip.

Phil held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. Dan wrapped his fingers between Phil’s, smiling at the older boy.

“Let’s go home.” 


	7. Text Messages and Paper Notes

**Summary:** Phil doesn’t have very many friends, and he knows that no one likes him like  _that_  so why did someone leave their number in his locker? (highschool au)

**Genre:** AU, Highschool

**Warnings:** really minor swearing

**Words:** 5,000

**A/N:** So I actually might do a second part to this later this week, would you guys like me to start some multichaptered fics?

Phil Lester was a bit of a loner. In all he had two friends, Chris and PJ, but only having two friends sucked. Especially if they were each other’s best friend, which meant you were more like an awkward third wheel. Phil knew he could’ve sat with them at lunch if he wanted to, but honestly he preferred the quiet of the library.

It was usually always empty, but today was the exception. Dan Howell, maybe not the most popular boy in school but definitely one of them, and Carrie Fletcher, maybe not the most popular girl in school but definitely one of them, had their heads bent over a textbook on the other side of the room. While Dan and Carrie seemed like the nicer side of the popular crowd, Phil decided that it would be better off to give them space. Sitting on one of the chairs meant for reading, it was safely tucked in the corner so Phil could observe everything but hopefully escape attention, Phil pulled his latest book out of his backpack.

He could barely concentrate on his book, however, due to the whispering coming from the other side other side of the room. Glancing up, Phil noticed that Carrie was watching him. Ducking his head so his dyed black hair covered his eyes, Phil felt his cheeks heat.

“I told you,” Carrie was saying, “You have to say something.”

“I don’t know, Car, I don’t want to be a bother. Plus it’s not like they’d ever go for someone like me,” Dan whispered back, loud enough for Phil to hear. Absentmindedly, Phil wondered who they were talking about, almost every girl in school would consider herself blessed if she got into Dan Howell’s pants. Some of the boys, too, come to think of it. Phil felt himself blush even harder at the thought, but it wasn’t like he meant himself.

Tuning the rest of their conversation out, Phil turned back to his book.

-

Maths was the worst subject ever, in Phil’s opinion, it wasn’t like he was ever going to need to use any of it anyway. Luckily Phil had a seat right next to a window, so most of the class was spent watching clouds drift across the sky or raindrops fall like tears. In return for not disrupting class and doing his homework, Phil’s teacher usually didn’t say anything.

Today was a ‘watching the rain’ day, grey clouds covering the sky and fat water droplets rolling down the window. The dour weather was doing little to improve Phil’s mood, and by the time the bell rings Phil just wants to ditch the rest of the day and go home.

Pulling his locker open, Phil is surprised to see a slip of paper, as if someone had shoved it through the slots on the locker door. Bending down, Phil picked up the paper.

It was notebook paper, folded into a tiny square, like a note from when he was twelve and sat next to PJ in class, inside the handwriting is sloppy and unfamiliar and smeared like the hand had run over the wet ink after writing it. It was a phone number, no name, not addressed to anyone. Glancing around, no one paying him any more attention than usual, Phil pulled out his phone. He typed the number into his contacts under the name ‘Unknown’, debating if he should text it. Eventually he decided, why the hell not?

_To: Unknown_

_Hey I found your number in my locker… I think its probably meant for someone else_

With shaking fingers, Phil sent the message. The other person probably wouldn’t answer anyway. He was wrong, and a reply is almost instant.

**From: Unknown**

**Oh this isnt phil? :(**

Phil felt his breath catch in his throat, because he had been so sure that there was no way in hell that the phone number was for him. Who would want to give him their number?

_To: Unknown_

_No it is, I didn’t think the message was 4 me_

Great, now he’ll look like a total loser, if his new friend didn’t already know that. Shrugging his school bag onto his shoulder, Phil decided to call it a day and head home. His mom was at work anyway.

As Phil entered his bedroom, he kept one eye on his phone. He had homework, but he wasn’t going to do it. Not when his laptop and Tumblr promised something much more entertaining.  Laying across his bed with his laptop open, Phil turned his attention back to his phone.

One new message.

**From: Unknown**

**Of course the number was for you. It was in ur locker wasn’t it???**

Phil’s gut twisted, that was the problem. No one would willingly put their number into Phil Lester’s locker. A sinking realization settled over him, it was probably one of the popular kids playing a joke on him. Having a laugh.

_To: Unknown_

_Listen im gonna get this out of they way, if this is a prank I don’t want to play along._

**From: Unknown**

**Why do you think it’s a prank??**

Ignoring the latest text, Phil tossed his phone to the other side of his bed. He wasn’t in the mood for games.

Still, thoughts of the unknown number plague him all night.

-

In the morning Phil felt like death warmed over. Dark circles ringed his eyes, made even more visible by his too pale skin, and he didn’t bother straitening his hair.

Unlocking his phone for the first time since the previous night, Phil was greeted by a wave of texts from the unknown number.

**From: Unknown**

**I promise its not a prank**

**From: Unknown**

**I really really like you**

**From: Unknown**

**Did I do something wrong?**

**From: Unknown**

**Shit im sorry**

**From: Unknow**

**Phil?????????**

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a prank. A wave of guilt washed over Phil as he realized that the owner of the unknown number seemed genuinely distressed by Phil’s lack of an answer.

_To: Unknow_

_Sorry I accused you of pranking me. Its just that people don’t usually want to talk to me and im an idiot. Sorry_

It doesn’t take long for Phil’s phone to chime.

**From: Unknown**

**Well I really do want to get to know you**

-

School was made slightly bearable due to the fact that Phil’s phone has barely stopped vibrating all day. Most of lunch was spent looking at his screen instead of reading, and most of his classes had been spent similarly. Now it was Maths, and Phil was watching the sky, wondering if he would get any texts this period. His phone vibrated against his leg, almost in tune with his thoughts.

**From: Unknown**

**You look really cute when you day dream**

Phil’s eyes darted around the room, almost of their own accord. Whoever his ‘secret admirer’ was, they were definitely in his class. Unless they were stalking him, but Phil was trying to think positive. He quickly ruled out the girls, him being openly gay was partly why he was avoided – like the idiots in his grade thought it was a disease they could catch.

Of the guys in the class there were few that Phil had ever actually spoke to. Dan Howell and a couple of the more popular kids sat in one corner, a quiet studious boy named Charlie was in the front row, Chris and PJ both sat near Phil, and there were a handful of kids Phil had never bothered to learn the names of. Other than Chris, PJ, and the popular kids, it could be anyone.

_To: Unknown_

_Whats ur name????_

**From: Unknown**

**That’s no fun! You have to figure it out**

**From: Unknown**

**But my middle name is James**

James, Phil mouths the name, enjoying the sensation. It’s nice to have an actual name to put in his contacts list, and he was right about it being a guy. Still, it wasn’t like Phil could run around asking his classmates what their middle names were.

_To: James_

_My middle name is Michael_

**From: James**

**Well I know your name, phil**

_To: James_

_Until you tell me your first name, I insist you call me Michael_

**From: James**

**If you insist, Michael ;)**

-

Phil thought they were flirting, sure they talked about all that ‘getting to know you’ stuff and had weirdly deep conversations at three in the morning. Phil could tell you James’s favorite band (Muse or Fall Out Boy, he could never make up his mind), movie, show, and how his favorite song was Britney Spear’s Toxic (because who’s favorite song isn’t?). Phil definitely thought they were flirting, in fact he was surprised he’d never met James in person before because they had a lot in common.

**From: James**

**You know, no one gets me like you do**

_To: James_

_I find that hard to believe, we’ve never even spoken_

**From: James**

**It is though, and you probably wouldn’t like me very much in person. I try and fit into this mold at school, shoving myself into the box of what im supposed to be. No one knows the real me, and you wouldn’t like the fake one**

_To: James_

_Maybe you should try and be yourself, if they really are your friends they shouldn’t force you to fit inside a little box. And I would like you no matter what. Just tell them who you are_

**From: James**

**That’s the goal**

Phil stared at his phone, James’s last, and slightly cryptic, message still open. Phil had been thinking about James a lot lately, because he was so sure that they were flirting, and he kind of wanted to take it face to face. He still had no idea who James was, but Phil’s stomach felt like the inside of a washing machine every time James texted him.

“Who are you texting?” Chris asked, snapping Phil back to reality. For once Phil was sitting in the cafeteria, mostly to try and figure out who James was, instead of the library for a change.

“No one,” Phil replied, blushing. PJ snatched Phil’s phone, quickly reading the still open message.

“Who’s James?” PJ asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I don’t know,” Phil admitted, telling his two friends everything.

“So you have a secret admirer?” Chris asked when Phil finished.

“I think so,” Phil said, “but I can’t figure out who it is.”

“Ugh, why is Dan Howell coming this way?” PJ groaned. Phil braced himself for some kind of teasing, turning to catch Dan’s brown gaze with his own blue one.

“Can I sit here?” Dan asked, his voice small and his shoulders slouched. Chris, PJ, and Phil shared a glance, what was going on?

“Sure,” Phil said slowly, he felt kind of bad for Dan, he looked… lonely.

Dan smiled gratefully, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

-

By the end of lunch, rumors were flying. Dan hadn’t said anything to PJ, Chris, or Phil, and they hadn’t pried for information. Instead they just sat in awkward silence, until Carrie came over, flanked by Cat. Cat was an American exchange student, and Phil hadn’t realized she and Carrie were friends.

“It doesn’t change anything,” Cat said, “You’re still our friend.” Then the two girls left with Dan trailing behind them, Phil could’ve swore that Dan looked back almost sadly, but that was crazy.

**From: James**

**That went well**

_To: James_

_What went well?_

**From: James**

**I came out to my friends, they took it better than I thought they would**

**From: James**

**Can we meet? In person?**

_To: James_

_Sure, where?_

Phil’s stomach fluttered, he was about to meet James in person.

**From: James**

**The library**

_To: James_

_Be there in a few_

The walk to the library felt like it was miles long. Phil’s stomach had evolved from fluttering to flipping, his palms sweaty. He wanted to meet James, of course he did, but what if they didn’t like each other in person? What if James realized that Phil was really just a loser?

Phil pushed open the library door, glancing around the near empty room. The librarian stood in the far corner, putting books away, and Dan Howell was leafing through a book. Obviously Phil had beaten James here. The door slammed shut behind him, drawing Dan’s eyes away from his book.

Dan put the book away carefully, before walking over to Phil. Phil really wasn’t in the mood to talk to Dan, but remembering the weird thing at lunch, Phil forced himself to look pleasant.

Dan was slouching, his hands shoved in his pockets. “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey,” Phil said, confused, shooting a glance at the door.

Dan shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable and out of his element, “do you know who I am?” he asked suddenly, chewing on his lip.

Phil blinked in confusion, “You’re Dan Howell, everyone knows you.”

Dan’s face falls, “Daniel James Howell,” he said, slowly and almost a whisper.

“Oh,” Phil said, his brain struggling to recognize this new information, “oh.”

Dan glanced away, not meeting Phil’s eyes, “yeah I’m probably not the person you expected to see.”

That was a bit of an understatement, because Dan Howell was probably the last person he would’ve imagined. Still, this was James his kinda-best-friend-maybe-something-more standing in front of him. Flickers of conversations about James, no Dan, hiding his real self at school, the scene at lunch, how Dan never thought Phil would like the school him, flash through Phil’s mind.

“You’re real,” Phil said, drawing Dan’s gaze back to his face, “you’re actually talking to me.”

“So you don’t care?” Dan asked, sounding surprised, “about who I am?”

“You’re my best friend,” Phil said honestly, with a shrug, “that’s all that matters.”

Dan smiles, and Phil thinks that that is the first time he’s ever seen Dan properly smile. “I’m your best friend?”

“Of course you are.”

-

Phil thought his mother was going to have a heart attack when he walked into his house trailed by Dan. He’d never had anyone over other than Chris and PJ, especially never someone he was holding hands with.

Yeah, he was holding hands with Dan Howell.

“We’re going upstairs,” Phil said, practically dragging Dan behind him. The rest of the school day had passed relatively well, which was probably due to the fact that he and Dan had skipped their last few classes in favor of talking more in person. Now the school day was over and Phil insisted he could beat Dan at Mario Cart, so they decided the only way to solve the debate would be to play a few rounds.

Phil doesn’t ask why Dan doesn’t offer his own house, and Dan doesn’t offer an explanation.

Phil flicked the console off with a groan, flopping back onto his bed. “Maybe you are better than me,” he admits.

Dan just smirks, “I told you.” His grin fades as he glances down at his phone, “shit I have to get home.”

“Okay,” Phil said, standing and offering Dan a hand,” I’ll walk you there.”

Dan takes Phil’s hand, not letting go even after he’s stood up.

Outside, the inky darkness is broken by the artificial glow of the streetlights.

“Um, where do you live?” Phil asked, turning to look at Dan. Dan points left and lets Phil drag him along the pavement.

“Stop for a second,” Dan said, yanking on Phil’s sleeve.

“What’s wrong, Dan?” Phil asked, big blue eyes wide, as he stopped walking.

“I just really want to try something,” Dan said quietly.

“Okay, go ahead,” Phil said, wondering if Dan was going to do what Phil thought he was.

Phil was right.

Dan closed the distance between them, his hands on Phil’s waist and his lips on Phil’s. His mouth was warm and soft, and Phil was pretty sure that he could get used to this. Phil’s hands tangled themselves into Dan’s chocolate hair.

Dan pulled away too soon, but both boys were gasping for air. Dan bent down, resting his forehead against Phil’s.  

“I really, really like you, Phil Lester,” he said quietly, his brown eyes wide and unblinking.

“I really, really like you too, Daniel James Howell,” Phil said with a grin,  “and I’m really glad you put your number in my locker.”

-

Phil was standing in the middle of the road. Dan had said goodnight, before heading into one of the houses on the other side of the street, and Phil was standing in the middle of the street with swollen lips and red cheeks.

Because Dan Howell had just kissed him.

He’s snapped back to reality by his phone vibrating against his leg. Phil dug his phone out of his pocket, half hoping its Dan already. It isn’t. It’s Chris, wondering where he went after lunch. Phil isn’t in the mood to be interrogated by his friends, so he ignores the text. Dropping his phone back into his pocket, Phil sets off for home.

It’s late and he should’ve been asleep hours ago. However, all Phil’s done is toss and turn, his thoughts plagued by blazing brown eyes and the taste of Dan’s lips. His clock’s red numbers are blinking 3:30, and he has to be up for school in the morning and he should be sleeping. But he isn’t.

The sound of something slamming into his second story window startled Phil, and he sat straight up. Groaning, Phil stumbled over to the window, pushing his curtains out of the way just as another rock slammed into it. His heart leapt into his throat. Was someone trying to wake his parents up?

“What are you doing?” Phil hissed into the night air, opening his window. Dan grinned sheepishly, his face illuminated by the pale moonlight.

“I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to see you,” Dan said, “can I come in?”

“Yeah, one second,” Phil said, closing the window and scampering down the stairs. He pulled open the front door, holding his breath and praying that his parents wouldn’t hear the creaking.

Dan slipped into the house, instantly pulling Phil into a hug.

“I couldn’t sleep either,” Phil confessed into Dan’s shoulder. Dan pulled back just far enough so that he could bend down and capture Phil’s lips with his own.

Phil grinned against the kiss, not willing to be the one to pull away.

“Can we go to your room?” Dan asked, grinning shyly, “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, but be quiet, okay?” Phil said pulling Dan up the stairs again.

-

Phil wakes up feeling warm, and it doesn’t take too long to figure out why. Dan’s stomach is pressed against his back, their legs tangled together, Dan’s arm across Phil’s body. The bright red numbers on the clock now read 6:34 and they actually should go to their classes today.

“Dan,” Phil said, shaking the other boy’s shoulder. Dan blinked sleepily at him, his mouth turning up into a grin.

“Good morning,” Dan said, reaching up to brush Phil’s fringe out of his eyes.

“Hey,” Phil said, bending down to press a soft kiss to Dan’s lips. “It’s almost time for school.”

“Shit, I have to run home and change,” Dan said.

Phil just shook his head, “you can just borrow something of mine, and we’re going to have to sneak out so my parents don’t see you, though.”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, “What do you have for me?”

In the end Dan just pulls on a pair of black skinny jeans that hang just a little too low on his hips, which Phil can’t help but find really sexy, and one of Phil’s old hoodies.

“You look so hot right now,” Phil said, running his fingers through Dan’s hair that was still wet from the shower he had just taken in Phil’s bathroom, it was beginning to curl, Phil hadn’t known that Dan had curly hair.

“Shut up,” Dan said, blushing, “and go get ready.” With that he pushed Phil into the bathroom.

-

Dan held his hand as they walked into school. Phil wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it was not that.

“It this okay?” Dan asked, gesturing to their fingers, “If you don’t want to be seen with me, I won’t blame you.”

Phil turned to face Dan, “Of course I want to be seen with you, I…” the words ‘love you’ are resting on his tongue, which is obviously not right because they’ve known each other all of two days. He still kind of wants to say them.

Dan doesn’t comment on Phil’s trailing into silence, or maybe he didn’t even notice, “Okay,” Dan said, taking a deep breath, “let’s do this.”

Phil pushed the door open, and for a minute nothing happened, no one noticed. Just for a moment, though, then the whispers started and heads turned to stare at them. Maybe no one said anything directly, because this was Dan Howell after all, but it still made Phil’s skin crawl.

Carrie Fletcher stepped in front of them, and for half a second Phil was afraid she was going to say something. Instead she wrapped Dan in a hug, muttering how proud she was of him. Stepping back, her eyes studied Phil.

“You’re Phil, right?” She asked, holding out her hand for him to shake, “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Finally? Just how long had Dan had a crush on him? As if he could hear the wheels turning in Phil’s brain, Dan groaned.

“Carrie, it was lovely to see you,” Dan said, dragging Phil with him to class. And the stares stop, the whispers quiet, because if Carrie Fletcher just accepted their relationship, then anyone who’s anyone probably would, too.

-

It’s English, Phil’s first class with PJ and Chris, and also his first class without Dan.

“Dude, the weirdest rumor is going around school,” Chris said as he sat in his usual seat between Phil and PJ. PJ glanced up from the book he was reading, suddenly interested in the conversation.

“I heard it, too,” PJ said, “apparently you’re going out with Dan Howell.” His friends probably expected him to laugh, to scoff, to deny. Instead Phil picked at his fingernails, not meeting his friend’s gaze.

“No way,” Chris muttered.

“You’re actually dating Dan Howell?” PJ asked, a hint of wonder in his voice, “Since when?” he added, raising his eyebrows.

“Since yesterday,” Phil admitted, “when I ditched school.”

“But what about your secret admirer?” Chris asked, causing PJ’s eyes to flash with recognition.

“It was Dan?” PJ asked, though he sounded like he already knew the answer, “he’s your secret admirer?”

“Yeah,” Phil nodded, “and I’m really glad he was.”

“Have you guys kissed yet?” Chris teased, puckering his lips, causing Phil to blush bright scarlet.

“Shut up,” Phil said, pushing his friend.

After English, Phil opened his locker. A small slip of paper had been shoved through the front, again, and this time Phil recognized Dan’s handwriting. The words smeared because he was left handed.

**You have beautiful eyes.**

Phil felt a blush creep up his neck, and onto his cheeks. Suddenly he felt a presence behind him, turning his blue eyes met brown.

“Hey,” Phil said, as Dan bent to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Hey, you ready for lunch?” Dan asked, wiggling his fingers so Phil would wrap their hands together.

“Yeah,” Phil said, trying to ignore the sinking pit in his stomach as he wondered where they would sit. Would they sit by Carrie? Chris and PJ? As if he could sense Phil’s apprehension, Dan gave Phil’s hand a comforting squeeze.

“Thanks for my note,” Phil said, trying not to blush again.

“You’re welcome,” Dan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

It takes Phil a couple of minutes to realize that they aren’t walking toward the cafeteria at all. Dan smiles at him, pushing the library door open, and Phil’s mind flashes back to listening to Dan and Carrie whispering over a textbook. Maybe Dan knows him better than he thought.

-

It was nice to have time for just the two of them. Time to share a pair of earbuds and listen to Muse and Fall Out Boy. Time to talk about favorite books and the latest season of American Horror Story.

Lunch period isn’t nearly long enough.

Now it’s Maths, and they’re in the same class but on opposite sides of the room. Dan keeps shooting him subtle glances whenever the teacher’s attention is elsewhere. Phil’s attention is back on the sky, watching the golden sun climb higher into the sky. Of course, he’s watching Dan, too. And really, who could blame him? More than a few girls had given his murderous glares over the course of the day, wondering what he had that they didn’t.

Other than the obvious, Phil really wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what Dan saw in him, but he wasn’t going to complain about it.

His phone vibrated against his leg. Dan.

**From: Dan**

**You look bored**

_To: Dan_

_Well it is maths_

**From: Dan**

**We should’ve ditched again**

_To: Dan_

_You’re a bad influence ;)_

**From: Dan**

**I know.**

Phil glanced at Dan across the room, but Dan didn’t meet his gaze. Dan wasn’t actually a bad influence, Phil had been joking. Still, it was clear that Dan felt he was bad for Phil to be around.

The bell rang, and Phil hurried over to Dan before Dan could flee the room.

“Hey,” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s arm, “I was just joking.”

“I know,” Dan shrugged, “but it’s true.”

“No it’s not,” Phil protested, “you don’t realize how good you really are.”

Dan gave him a small smile, “you really think so?”

“I know so.”   

-

“What are you doing?” Dan asked with a laugh as Phil pulled him behind the school.

“Getting you alone,” Phil said, chewing on his lip, “so I can do this.” He reached up, pressing their lips together.

“I missed you today,” Dan admitted quietly.

“We’ve seen each other all day, Dan,” Phil said with a laugh.

“But not like this,” Dan whined, “it’s different at school.”

“I know,” Phil groaned, “do you want to go back to mine?”

“Actually,” Dan started, sounding nervous, “do you want to come over to my house, I mean my parents aren’t home so it should be okay.”

“Sure,” Phil answered, trying and failing to ignore the ‘it should be okay’, “I’ll tell my mum that I’m going over to Chris’s.”

“Great,’ Dan said with a grin, “let’s go.”

Dan’s house was nice sized, with cream walls and hard-wood floors. Dan’s room was the exception. Yes the walls were cream, but they were covered with posters. His bed had a black checkered duvet, and fairy lights twinkled against the headboard.

“It’s nice,” Phil said as he flopped onto Dan’s bed. Dan grinned at him, before moving to sit next to him.

“I’m glad you like it,” Dan said, reaching over to play with Phil’s hair. “You want to play some Donkey Kong?”

“Sure.”

It was later, and Dan had fallen asleep, his arm around Phil’s waist. Phil was listening to his even, steady breaths, running his fingers through Dan’s hair. It was quite and perfect, until the sound of a door slamming made both Dan awake with a start.

“Shit,” Dan whispered, rubbing his eyes, “why are they home so early?” Phil swung one leg out of the bed, not sure where he was going but not willing to get Dan into trouble, when Dan’s bedroom door creaked open.

The hall light illuminated the bedroom, accompanied by a call of “Dan, sweetheart, we’re home,” that was cut off when the figure in the doorway noticed there were two boys sitting on Dan’s bed.

“Dan, who’s this?” his mother asked, opening the door wider, studying Phil with narrowed eyes. She looked young to be Dan’s mother, with curled hair and a bit too much makeup.

Dan rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick, and glances at Phil with ‘save me’ written in his eyes. His earlier statements rush back into Phil’s head, and Phil finds himself wondering if Dan’s parents know that he’s gay, or bisexual, or whatever. Probably not.

“Um, this is Phil,” Dan stammers, “my, ah, boyfriend.” And this isn’t the time, but being called Dan Howell’s boyfriend makes Phil’s stomach do flips.

“Oh,” Dan’s mother said, pulling back and blinking. “Okay, then.”

-

Phil was laying in his own bed, and it was too empty and cold without Dan there beside him. He’d left so Dan could talk to his parents. Phil was fairly certain his mother almost had a heart attack when he stormed into his house at 1:30 in the morning, and he didn’t even have the energy to keep up the pretense of being at Chris’s. So now he was grounded, hiding under the covers, clutching his phone, praying Dan will text him.

He never does.

-

School’s hell the next day, because Dan isn’t there. Because he can’t muster the energy to talk to Chris or PJ. Because he feels like a walking corpse.

He threw his locker open, not even bothering to pretend that he was in a good mood, when a slip of paper fell out.

**I love you.**

Familiar writing. Smeared from a left hand. Dan’s. Tears spring into Phil’s eyes, and all he wants to do is see his boyfriend.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said from behind him. Turning, Phil launched himself into Dan’s arms.

“I love you, too, Daniel James Howell.”

“I love you more,” Dan whispered into his hair.       


	8. He’s So Bad, But He Does It So Well

**Summary:** Dan Howell, school bad boy, and Phil Lester, teacher’s pet, are supposed to hate each other. But Phil Lester is about do do a lot of things he probably shouldn’t. Getting to know Dan Howell is just the top of the list.

**Genre:** highschool, au

**Warnings:** swearing, mentions of sex

**Words:** 1,749 

**A/N:** So this is just a little thing I wrote, don’t worry the surprise I hinted at, at the end of my fic [Text Meassages and Paper Notes](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com/post/103636572968/text-messages-and-paper-notes) will still be coming up sometime later in the week. Thanks for reading. 

Phil knew that Dan Howell was bad news, because his clothes always smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, because he only showed up to school half the time, because the few times he spoke to Phil it seemed like every other word was a swear.

Whereas Phil, Phil was a daydreamer. He rarely paid attention in lessons, yet still got almost all A’s, instead he would watch the clouds chase the sun across the sky. Because what was the point? Would paying attention in class actually do anything to make him happy?

Maybe it was a bad thing that they were sat next to each other in English, because all Phil can do is watch Dan twist a cigarette around his fingers, a cigarette they both know he won’t light. Maybe it’s a bad thing because they kind of hate each other. Maybe it’s a bad thing because neither of them can seem to keep their eyes off the other. It doesn’t really matter, it’s just a bad thing.

“Phil,” and the sound of Dan’s voice was enough to snap Phil to reality, because he wasn’t even aware that Dan knew his name, “stop chewing on your damn pencil.”

Phil slowly removed his pencil from his mouth, not sure why it was bothering Dan so much – it wasn’t his pencil or anything. “Sorry,” he apologized, not sure why he did so, because he didn’t really care what Dan Howell thought of him. Dan leaned back, putting his feet on the desk – just begging for trouble, really – and damn, did he have nice legs. He also smelled faintly of cigarettes, which Phil really shouldn’t find sexy. He kind of did.

And if he’s being perfectly honest, Phil finds Dan Howell pretty damn attractive with his chocolate hair and caramel eyes, his long legs, his leather jacket, his devil may care attitude. But Phil usually isn’t honest, because Dan Howell is bad news. Phil doesn’t need bad news, although he doesn’t particularly want good news, either.

“It’s fine,” Dan said, and Phil’s not completely sure why Dan is still talking to him.

“It is, like, a pet peeve or something?” Phil asked before he could stop himself, silently cursing himself. This is Dan Howell, he can’t talk to him like that.

“Or something,” Dan said with a smirk, “or something.”

-

“Phil,” Dan groaned the next day, and Phil shivers. He tells himself it’s because of the cold and not because he really, really likes how Dan says his name. He probably likes the sound of Dan’s voice more than he should. “Shit, Phil, I told you to stop chewing on your pencil.” Grinning sheepishly at the other boy, Phil pulled the pencil out of his mouth.

“Sorry, I forgot,” he said, a lie, he just wanted Dan to talk to him again. He shouldn’t want that, he’s probably crazy. His friends would certainly say so, if they knew what he was thinking.

“It’s fine,” Dan said, “just stop… please.”

“Why does it bother you so much, anyway?” Phil asked, because Dan Howell never says please. Dan’s eyes widen, obviously not expecting Phil to question him. No one questions Dan Howell.

Dan cocked his head, leaning in close enough that Phil could smell coffee on his breath, “because Phil Lester, you’re hot as hell and it turns me on.”

Phil feels his cheeks redden, and then Dan’s pulling him out of the classroom. Their teacher’s calling for them to come back, but Dan’s hand is warm against his wrist and Dan’s really damn attractive, so maybe Phil’s not in the mood for making the best decisions. So if Phil lets Dan pull him into an empty classroom, well, maybe he doesn’t care that it’s not a good idea.

He lets Dan bend down and press their lips together, and Dan tastes like coffee and smoke and Phil shouldn’t like it, but he does. He lets Dan push him against the closed door, his fingers twisting into Dan’s hair. He lets Dan wrap his hands around his waist, pulling away from the hurried kisses only to gasp for air.

And Phil doesn’t know what he’s doing, because he’s a daydreamer, a good kid, and he doesn’t make out with attractive boys in empty classrooms. But he likes it, he likes his lips feeling swollen from kisses, likes how Dan tastes. He shouldn’t, but he does.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Dan muttered, his hair sticking up in random directions from Phil’s fingers. Phil isn’t delusional, because it’s not like Dan Howell is going to date him or anything, but he can’t help but blush at Dan’s words.

So when Dan starts kissing him again, his fingers creeping under Phil’s shirt, leaving burning trails against his stomach, Phil pulls away just long enough to rip his t-shirt off.

-

When Phil wakes up, he isn’t quite sure where he is. Then memories of yesterday creep back, making out with Dan in the empty classroom, Dan taking him to his house, oh. He’s lying in a bed that feels unfamiliar to him, because it isn’t his bed. It’s Dan’s.

He sits up, blinking, but can barely see anything. Shit, his glasses.

“Looking for these?” A familiar voice asked, and Dan slipped Phil’s glasses onto his face.

Shit, what was the protocol? Was he just supposed to leave? Did Dan even want him here?

Dan silences his inner thoughts by leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to Phil’s lips.

“Is this okay?” Dan asked, looking almost nervous, which was stupid because he was Dan Howell. “I mean, shit, I really like you, okay? As like more than a one night stand.” There was no way in hell. Phil was pretty sure he was dreaming. Pinching his arm, Phil was surprised to feel pain.

“Not dreaming,” he muttered, and Dan grinned a stupid, huge grin.

“You thought you were dreaming?” He asked, “Because I want to go out –“

 Phil cut him off by pressing another kiss to Dan’s lips, intertwining their fingers. Dan grabbed Phil’s glassed, pulling them back off so they could kiss more comfortably. Phil was just praying to god that he didn’t have morning breath.

Pulling away, Dan grinned at him again, “Get ready for school.”

“I can’t wear the same thing as yesterday,” Phil groaned, “everyone will know.”

“You left school with me in the middle of class,” Dan said, his grin changing into a smirk, “I’m pretty sure everyone already knows.”

“Shut up,” Phil says, blushing.

-

When he glances at his phone, Phil isn’t surprised to see almost twenty missed calls and unopened texts from his mother, so he shoots her a quick text telling her that he’s fine.

Dan’s twisting a cigarette around his fingers as they walk to school, which Phil really shouldn’t find sexy, but kind of does. Dan’s wearing his leather jacket again and Phil can’t decide if he wants to steal it for himself or never let Dan take it off.

-

He shouldn’t like it, skipping class to make out in empty classrooms or sitting on the grimy floor of the boy’s bathroom while Dan smokes a cigarette out the open window. He shouldn’t like how Dan picks him up in cars that aren’t his just to park in an ally five minutes from Phil’s house.

He shouldn’t like the fact that Dan Howell isn’t exactly someone you bring to meet your parents, but he kind of does.

He shouldn’t like that Dan’s a bad influence on him, before he started messing around with Dan, Phil was a straight A student. Now he’s lucky to be pulling C’s. He doesn’t really care, though, because now he knows that there is so much more to life than textbooks and homework.

He tells Dan as much, when the other boy complains about how he’s influenced Phil. Maybe Dan cares more than Phil thought.

“You were a good kid before I got involved,” Dan moaned, picking his head off Phil’s bare chest, his hand tracing circles on his stomach, “no you’re lying to your parents to see me. I’m an awful person.”

“No you’re not,” Phil said firmly, “I made all of those choices. I choose you…”

Dan grinned at the Pokémon reference, the giant nerd, but it quickly slid off his face. “Can I meet them?” he asked suddenly.

“My parents?” Phil asked, confused, because Dan Howell was not the kind of guy you bring home.

Dan Howell was nicotine stained fingers and leather t-shirts and studded shoes.

Dan Howell was nodding, “Yeah, can I?”

“Sure,” Phil says, almost without thinking, because Dan was pouting, which makes him look so much younger, and Phil really can’t say no to that face.

The grin he got in return was worth it, anyway.

-

Dan Howell was on his doorstep. He was on his doorstep wearing a white dress shirt and a red tie, looking a bit like a kid in a school uniform. Dan was tugging on his collar uncomfortably, but stopped when he realized Phil had opened the door.

“Hey,” Dan said, awkwardly shoving his hand into his jean pockets. He had washed the nicotine off his hands and covered up the smell of smoke with cologne. He didn’t look like Dan Howell. Phil wasn’t sure how that made him feel.

-

Phil knew that he shouldn’t like Dan Howell, because he’s the school bad boy who smokes and steals – borrows – cars and breaks hearts. He shouldn’t like how they wake up tangled together, heads pounding from a hangover. He shouldn’t like how he lies to his parents so he can spend the weekends in Dan’s arms. He shouldn’t like the faint scent of smoke that clings to everything around Dan, Phil can even smell it on himself sometimes.

He wonders if Dan feels the same way, because Phil’s a geek, a teacher’s pet who always turns in his homework and has never got a detention in his life. If Dan doesn’t like to be the one who introduces Phil to drinking and smoking and stealing cars.

But if Dan’s been a bad influence on Phil, maybe Phil’s been a good influence on Dan. Sometimes they have study dates, and Dan actually does his homework. He leaves most of the car theft for when they play Grand Theft Auto. He doesn’t stop smoking, though.

Because Phil knows that he shouldn’t – doesn’t – like Dan Howell.

But he just might love him.    


	9. In The Stories of Heroes and Villians

**Summary:** Dan Howell, the next ‘James Bond’, is sick of acting for the cameras. In fact, filming takes less acting than all of the movie promotion. Then he meets Phil Lester, and maybe he won’t have to act like he’s happy anymore.

**Genre:** au

**Warnings:** implied sex and really minor swearing

**Words:** 1,722

After a while, it was all the same to Dan.  The bright lights, the camera flashes, and the interviewers who only wanted to know about his love life. After a while, all of the movie premieres blended together and all of his suits started to look the same.

It wasn’t like he hated his job, because he didn’t. Dan loved acting, loved falling into a role and forgetting who he was for a little bit. It was the after part that he hated, the promoting and interviewing and having to flirt with his female co-stars to gain attention for his movies.

“Dan! Daniel Howell!” Some blonde woman cried, shoving her microphone into Dan’s face. Dan plastered on a grin, trying to look pleasant. “What’s it like being called the ‘James Bond’ of your generation?”

“It’s amazing,” Dan said truthfully, he loved filming action movies, loved pretending to shoot guns and run away from exploding buildings, and disabling bombs. “I never thought my career would take off the way it did,” the woman nodded.

“What about you and Zoe Sugg? Are you two an item?” the woman asked, of course. That was all the media wanted to know these days. Dan glanced at Zoe out of the corner of his eye, she was a pretty girl. Real nice, too, they had become great friends during filming.

But she wasn’t exactly his type.

“No comment,” Dan said, before slipping away from the interviewer and into the crowd.

-

The movie was good, as always it was weird to see himself on screen with all of the special effects that hadn’t actually been present during filming, but it was definitely one of Dan’s better movies. However, he’d actually had difficulty focusing on watching the screen.

Mostly because Phil Lester was sat in front of him. Phil was famous for his role as a computer genius in some new super hero movie. He was gorgeous, with dyed black hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and thick black glasses.

In other words, he was just Dan’s type.

Dan spent most of the movie watching Phil’s reactions. Phil seemed really into the movie, jumping and laughing like a little kid watching a horror film. It was kind of endearing.

After the movie, Dan dodged more reporters and headed toward his car. He had agreed to meet Zoe and a couple of the other cast members at Zoe’s flat for an after party, as a sort of last hurrah now that filming was over. He was slightly disappointed by the fact that he hadn’t gotten to speak with Phil Lester at the premiere.

Zoe’s flat was definitely outfitted for a party, tables of sweets lined the walls and balloons covered almost every surface. It was very pink, very Zoe.

It was crowded already, mostly people who had worked on the movie, but there was plenty of people Dan knew by reputation only. Dan had parked himself by one of the snack tables, making small talk with American actor, Tyler Oakley.

A couple of his friends came and went, congratulating Dan on his movie. It was nice to see some of his friends that he hadn’t seen in a while. Eventually Dan escaped the crowd, making his way to a table in one of the darkest corners. He was already halfway into the seat before he realized that someone was already sat in the seat on the opposite side.

“Sorry,” Dan said, “I didn’t know anyone was sitting here.”

“It’s fine,” the other person said, their voice sounding familiar. They shifted, moving into the light, and Dan felt his breath catch in his throat. Phil Lester was sat in front of him, his blue dress shirt making his eyes seem even brighter.

“Oh,” Phil continued, “you’re Dan Howell. It’s really nice to meet you. I mean, you were great in the movie today.” Dan smiled at Phil’s awkward attempt at conversation.

“Thanks, you’re a pretty great actor, too.” Dan said, and he can’t believe his luck, because he’s talking to Phil Lester. He’s not sure, because it’s dark, but he’s pretty sure that Phil’s blushing.

“So, I heard an interesting rumor,” Phil said, wiggling his eyebrows. He looks so ridiculous that Dan can’t help but laugh.

“And what was that?” Dan asked, still chuckling.

“That you’re dating Zoe Sugg,” Phil said, trying and failing to give Dan a suggestive wink.

Dan groaned, of course that’s what Phil wanted to talk about, “that’s not true. I mean, Zoe’s my friend and I love her, but I’m not in love with her.”

“Oh,” Phil said, looking at Dan with narrowed eyes, “Are you dating anyone?”

And Dan’s not really sure why he does it, because he doesn’t even know if Phil’s into guys or not, but he finds himself leaning forward, his voice dropping, “Are you offering?”

Phil’s blushing even harder now, the red visible even in the dim light, but his voice is steady when he answers.

“Maybe.”

-

When Dan wakes up, he’s not sure where he is at first, because he certainly doesn’t have a blue and green checkered duvet. It takes a few seconds, but the events from the previous night catch up to him, and…. oh…. he’s at Phil’s.

Except Phil isn’t there.

Dan sits up, bending down to pick up his clothes. Unfortunately all he has to wear is his suit from last night. Great. The media would have a field day with this. Still, he doesn’t have anything else to wear, so he pulls on his pants and dress shirt.

The bedroom door is cracked open, and Dan’s not really sure where Phil went. Should he leave his number?

Luckily he doesn’t have to think much, because as soon as he steps out of the hallway he’s greeted to the sight of Phil cooking. Phil looked up, noticing Dan lingering awkwardly in the doorway.

“I made pancakes,” he announced, and Dan felt a grin creep onto his face.

“Sounds great,” Dan said, moving to sit on one of the barstools, leaning his arms on the kitchen counter. Phil leaned across, giving him a soft kiss.

“I could get used to this,” Dan said, as Phil pulled away. The moment was interrupted by the sharp ringing of his cell phone. Dan smiled apologetically at Phil, before digging his phone out of his pocket and putting it up to his ear.

“Hello?” He asked, already knowing who was calling him.

“Where’d you go last night?” PJ asked him, “I thought you were coming out with me and Chris after Zoe’s party?”

Dan’s eyes flickered back to Phil, who was bustling around the kitchen in a Pokémon t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. “I didn’t feel like it,” he said vaguely.

“Did you go home with someone?” PJ asked, and Dan can almost hear the knowing smirk that is currently on his friend’s face.

“Sorry, PJ, I have to go,” Dan said, quickly disconnecting the call.

Phil was smirking at him, when he dropped his phone back into his pocket, “You’re looking awfully formal for breakfast, Dan,” he said.

“Shut up,” Dan said, laughing, “I didn’t have anything else to wear.”

-

Officially, they didn’t even know each other. Unofficially, they’d been dating for about three weeks. They couldn’t really go out, because fans were everywhere and the paparazzi would pay good money to know who ‘Dan Howell’s Secret Lover’ was. Apparently, now that Zoe had started dating Alfie, the fact that he was never at his own flat was suspicious enough for the magazines to claim that he had a secret lover. Which he did, but that really wasn’t the point.

“We should go out on Friday,” Dan said, playing with their intertwined fingers while Buffy reruns played on the television.

“I have my premiere this Friday,” Phil reminded him.

“I know,” Dan said, “we should go out this this Friday.”

Phil’s blue eyes widen, “What? Like come to the premiere with me?”

Dan nodded, a grin creeping onto his face, “Yeah, I’m sick of hiding.”

“Really?” Phil asked, eyes sparkling with excitement, “I love you!” He blushed as he realized what he said. “I mean –“

Dan cuts him off with his lips, “I love you too, you idiot.”

Friday rolls around, and they’re both sitting in a car, waiting to get out and walk New York’s red carpet. America is different from London, but it’s nice.

“I don’t know why America’s always making the villains be British,” Phil complained, as Dan tried to fix his hair.

“You love playing the villain,” Dan reminded him, turning to face his boyfriend.

“I know,” Phil said, “but still.”

Dan laughed, wrapping their fingers together, “Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah,” Phil said grinning, “let’s go.”

Dan pushed the door open, revealing the bright flashing of cameras. He stepped out, pulling Phil out behind him. An odd silence settles over the small crowd as people take in their joined hands. The silence doesn’t last long, however, as the snapping of cameras filled the air.

Usually, Dan had to fake a smile at these things, but the warm pressure of Phil’s hand in his was more than enough to put a real smile on his face.

-

“Daniel Howell! Phillip Lester!” A reporter, a young man who looked too nice to be shoving a microphone in their faces, called. Dan turned, smiling at the camera men lurking behind the reporter. “Would you mind answering a few questions?”

Dan shared a glance with Phil, who shrugged, they were going to have to answer questions sometime.

“Not at all,” Dan replied, slipping into his role of ‘pleasant celebrity who doesn’t want to punch every reporter in the face’.

“Alright then,” the reporter said with a smile, “How did you two meet?”

“At Zoe Sugg’s party a few weeks ago,” Phil answers easily.

“Did sparks fly from the start?”

“As soon as I was assured that he wasn’t dating Zoe,” Phil said with a laugh, which makes Dan chuckle as well, because Phil’s a natural at this.

The reporter grinned again, “What was your first date, then?”

Again, Dan and Phil shared a glance.

“Technically this,” Phil admitted, winking at the camera.

“Thanks for the interview, boys, enjoy the movie.”

**Dan Howell and Phil Lester: The New Celebrity Couple Announced New Movie Being Filmed… Together**


	10. Vexatious

**Summary:** vex·a·tious: causing or tending to cause annoyance, frustration, or worry. Dan Howell must be the most annoying customer Phil Lester’s ever had the misfortune of meeting, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s just a little attracted to him, as well.  

**Genre:** au

**Warnings:** minor swearing

**Words:** 2,795

Phil leaned against the counter, resting his chin in his hands. The too small store’s bright lights assaulted his eyes. The store was nearly empty anyway, the only customer being a young man browsing through the alcohol section. Closing his eyes, Phil wished he was anywhere else. He wished he had a job he enjoyed, something he actually needed his degree for.

A sharp tapping drew him from his thoughts. Opening his eyes, Phil found himself facing the guy from the alcohol section. He was attractive, probably a few years younger than Phil, with a brown fringe and brown eyes. A leather jacket hung from his shoulders and the pockets of his jeans were studded. Everything about him screamed bad news.

“Wow, the service here is terrible,” the guy said, and Phil blushes as he realizes he’s been staring. He had a southern accent, and Phil wonders what he’s doing in Manchester.

“Sorry,” Phil replied automatically, moving to ring up the bottle of whatever the guy was holding. When the guy thinks he’s not looking, Phil sees him swipe a keyring from the display and drop it into his pocket. Phil knows he should tell him off, make him put it back, but they guy is more than a little intimidating. He’s taller than Phil, probably 6’3’’, and is wearing a ‘don’t mess with me look’ on his face. Besides if he wants a keyring bad enough to steal one, he’s welcome to it.

Or maybe he just liked the thrill of shoplifting, either way, Phil wasn’t about to get in the way.

Phil tried to muster a small smile as he handed the guy his bottle. The guy wasn’t even looking at Phil, however, choosing instead to scroll through something on his phone.

“See ‘ya,” the guy said as he walked out of the store. Phil tried not to stare at his ass as he walked. He failed.

-

“Still terrible service, I see,” the guy said as he pushed the door open the next day, the bells jingling cheerfully. Phil shot a glare at him, but didn’t bother to reply. “Do you have a voice?”

“Yes,” Phil snapped, he wasn’t in the mood for games today. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with  _him_ today.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” the guy said, grabbing another bottle of whatever he had bought the day before.

“Only because you’re here,” Phil mumbled, running a hand through his freshly dyed black fringe.

“What was that, babe?” the guy asked, moving to lean against the counter.

“Don’t call me ‘babe’,” Phil said, blushing. The guy’s only response was to grin.

“Aw, is something wrong, baby?” He asked, causing Phil to groan. Ringing up the bottle without another word, Phil tried to focus on how annoying this guy was, rather than how attractive he was.

“I’m Dan,” he said cheerfully, “it’s nice to meet you, Phil.”

“How do you know my – “

“You’re wearing a nametag.”

“Oh.”

Dan grinned again, obviously pleased with himself.

“Can I help you with anything else?” Phil asked, wishing that Dan would just go away.

“Well you certainly could,” Dan replied cheekily, winking. Phil groaned again, and gestured toward the door.

“Out.”

“Okay, okay,” Dan said, holding up his hands like he was innocent, “I’m going.”

-

Dan doesn’t come in the next day, and Phil almost wishes he would, just to break the monotony. Almost. Instead the day passes slowly. The second hand seems to take hours just to move around the clock. It’s boring. Once again, Phil found himself wishing he actually liked his job.

When it’s finally time to leave, Phil doesn’t even have enough energy to smile at Zoe. He pulls on his coat, frowning as he opened the door only to be gusted by a blast of cold air. The pavement is scattered with small piles of slushy snow. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Phil trudged off in the direction of his flat.

He doesn’t get very far before he hears a familiar voice calling his name.

“Phil, hey Phil,” Dan called, sliding to a stop once he had caught up to the older boy.

“What do you want?” Phil asked, not bothering to hide his curiosity.

Dan ignored him, “I went to the store and you weren’t there.”

“My shift was over,” Phil explained slowly, “you could’ve just annoyed Zoe. Why’d you come chasing after me?”

Dan shrugged, “you’re more interesting than Zoe.” Though from the way he said her name, it was obvious that Dan had no idea who Zoe was. “Where are you going anyway?”

“Home,” Phil said simply. Although, maybe leading Dan to the doorstep of his flat wasn’t such a good idea. Too late now.

Dan nodded, “of course, where else would you be going?” he muttered, more to himself that anything. Reaching into his pocket, Dan pulled out a pack of cigarette. “Want one?” he asked as he pulled one out of the box for himself.

“No,” Phil said, “I don’t smoke.”

“That’s cool,” Dan said, lighting his cigarette, “you don’t mind if I do?”

Phil shook his head, though he tried not to breath in too much of the smoke.

“Who are you?” Phil asked, studying Dan. He really wanted to ask ‘why do you keep talking to me’ or maybe ‘why are you following me home’, but he settles for a simple ‘who are you’.

“Dan Howell, uni dropout and all around bad boy,” he said, smirking.

“But who are you?” Phil repeated, and the smirk slides off Dan’s face.

-

“You have great taste,” Dan said as he slipped past Phil, into Phil’s flat. Phil wasn’t entirely sure why Dan was still following him around, and Dan hadn’t offered an explanation.

“Thanks,” Phil said, shrugging out of his coat. Dan was studying the bookshelf of movies, his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“Can’t I just spend time with a friend?” Dan asked, mock hurt in his voice.

“Are we friends?” Phil asked. Dan just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Are we?”

“You’re the one who followed me home,” Phil said, moving further into the flat.

“Why does your flat have so many stairs?” Dan asked, ignoring Phil’s last statement.

“It’s my flat, why do you care?” Phil asked, watching as Dan flopped onto the couch. What the hell was Dan doing? It was seven thirty, surely he had better things to do than annoy Phil.

“What’s for dinner?” Dan asked, picking his head off the couch. Or maybe not.

“I don’t know. Are you staying for dinner?” Phil asked, moving to sit next to Dan.

“Sure. Can we get take away? I can’t cook.”

“We’re at my flat, Dan. I would be the one cooking,” Phil told him, making Dan pout.

“I would help you,” Dan said, picking his long legs off the floor and draping them across Phil’s lap.

“And burn my kitchen to the ground?” Phil asked, “Fine, we’ll get take away.” He tried to ignore how nice it felt to have Dan’s legs in his lap.

Dan smiled, “great!”  

-

“Why did we get take away, again?” Phil asked, he had definitely eaten too much.

“Because you didn’t want to risk me burning your kitchen to the ground,” Dan reminded him, flicking through channels on the TV.

“That’s right,” Phil nodded. He hated to admit it, but having Dan around was kind of nice. Certainly better than being alone in an empty flat. Even if Dan was a right pain in the ass.

Dan stretched his arms out, nearly knocking Phil’s glasses off his face.

“Hey,” Phil said, fixing his glasses.

“Sorry,” Dan said, though he didn’t sound very sorry at all.

“Can we watch Buffy?” Phil asked, as Dan flicked through the channels… again.

“I guess,” Dan groaned, “it’s only eight.”

Watching Buffy was much more interesting with someone to share all of his comments with. And by the time they turn the TV off, some four episodes later, it’s really too late for Phil to kick Dan out.

“You can sleep in the guest room if you want,” Phil offered.

“What? You don’t want to share?” Dan asked, winking, and Phil can’t help but regret his offer.

-

When Phil wakes up, Dan isn’t there. Though he did leave a note saying that he had to go to work. Phil hadn’t known that Dan had a job.

Which reminded him, he had to get to work.

The bell above the door jingles cheerfully as Phil pushes open the door. He has to take it down. It can get pretty annoying.

The day passes slowly, but just as he’s about to leave, the front door opens and Dan walks in, hips swaying.

“Sorry I left this morning, I totally forgot that I had to work,” Dan said, and the apology sounds weird. Like he isn’t used to actually meaning the words.

“It’s fine,” Phil said, “I got your note.”

Dan grinned, getting the look in his eyes like he was about to be annoying, “I bet you did, babe.”

“I told you not to call me ‘babe’,” Phil groaned, just as Zoe walked into the store, earning him a weird look. “Come on,” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s arm.

Outside was cold, it was still late January after all, so Phil loosened his grip on Dan’s arm in favor of sticking his hands in his pockets. He kind of would rather wrap his hand around Dan’s.

“So how was work?” Phil asked, trying to break the silence that had settled between the two. Dan merely shrugged. “Where do you work?” Phil asked, realizing that while Dan knew an awful lot about him, he knew very little about the leather jacket clad boy walking beside him.

“What was this? Twenty questions?” Dan asked, grumbling under his breath.

“I just don’t know anything about you,” Phil explained, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“No it’s okay,” Dan said, “My name is Daniel Howell, I’m twenty-three years old. I dropped out of Law School two years ago. Currently I work at an ice cream shop down the road.”

Phil tries to picture Dan working as a lawyer or in an ice cream shop. He can’t. He’d always pictured Dan as an artist or a musician.

“My name is Phillip Lester, I’m twenty-seven years old. I have a degree in video editing that I will never use, but I desperately wish otherwise.”

Phil could see in Dan’s eyes that a remark about Phil being older was on the tip of his tongue, but instead he says, “You have a degree in video editing?”

Phil can feel a blush creeping over his cheeks, “yeah, I make YouTube videos. It’s stupid.”

“No, that’s cool,” Dan protested, looking a bit like an over eager five year old, “I’ve always wanted to make YouTube videos.”

“I’ll help you. Or you can be in some of my videos first,” Phil offered.

“I’d love that.”

-

“Are you staying over again?” Phil asked, flopping next to Dan on the couch.

“If it’s okay, I don’t really have anywhere else to go,” Dan said, tossing his legs onto Phil’s lap.

“You don’t have a flat?” Phil asked.

“No, I’ve mostly been living out of hotels or crashing at my friend, Chris’s,” Dan said, looking sad, “my parents kicked me out after I dropped out of Uni.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil said, rubbing Dan’s legs comfortingly. A few seconds pass before either of them speak again.

“Move in with me,” Phil said suddenly, and he’s not sure why because he’s really only known Dan a couple of days, and them living together would most likely result in a murder because Dan is still the most annoying person he’d ever met, but he asked anyway.

Dan’s head snapped up, “Really?”

“Yeah, move in with me,” Phil repeated, even though living with Dan would be hell because Dan was really damn attractive, and when Phil doesn’t want to strangle him, he kind of wants to kiss him.

But the grin on Dan’s face and the little nod when he says ‘okay’ is totally worth it.

-

“Phil!” Dan called as he walked into the lounge, “you left all of the cabinets open again.”

“Sorry,” Phil said, grinning sheepishly, “I can’t help it.”

“You’re just lazy, more like,” Dan muttered, flopping next to Phil on the couch.

“Hey, actually shut up,” Phil said, picking his foot off the ground so that he could push Dan in the side.

“You know you love me,” Dan said, smirking.

“Yeah, I do,” Phil muttered, so quietly he wasn’t sure Dan heard him.

-

It was snowing again, as Dan and Phil walked to work. Both boys were bundled in scarfs and hats and gloves, barely any of their faces showing. Dan’s nose was tinged red, and Phil was trying not to focus on how cute it made him look.

His complaining helped.

“I mean, what kind of ice cream shop is open in January?” Dan was asking.

“You want to trade for the day?” Phil asked, trying not to slip on a particularly icy patch of pavement.

“Hell no, your job looks boring.”

“Thanks,” Phil said drying.

“No problem,” Dan replied, eyes sparkling, and even though Phil can’t see Dan’s mouth, he can tell that he’s smirking.

“You’re an ass,” Phil said, stopping in front of the store, “I’ll see you later.”

“You like it!” Dan called over his shoulder as he walked away. The red stain on Phil’s cheeks was no longer from the cold.

-

Dan had been right, of course, his work was boring. Due to the weather hardly anyone had come in, leaving Phil to lean against the counter. The bell above the door, that damn bell, jingled cheerfully, interrupting Phil’s thoughts.

It was Dan, of course it was.

“This place should get workers who actually do their job,” he said, smirking at Phil’s form.

“Shut up,” Phil said, weakly, he had given up trying to beat Dan at his own game.

Dan shrugged out of his jacket, laying it across the counter. It was soon joined by his gloves and scarf. He kept the fuzzy hat on his head, however. “But that’s so boring.”

A grin crept onto Phil’s face, almost against his will, “Good.”

“At least I remember to close the cabinets in the morning,” Dan muttered.

“I have a question,” Phil said, thinking back to when they first met, “Why did you steal that keyring? The first day we met?”

“What? You saw that?” Dan asked, laughing.

“Well, I’m not blind,” Phil said, “I just wear contacts.”

“I don’t know,” Dan admitted, “I wanted to catch your attention.” Phil felt his cheeks heat at Dan’s words.

The question ‘but why’ is lingering on top of top of Phil’s tongue, but he thought that maybe he already knew the answer.

The moment was interrupted by the clatter of the door and the jingling of the bell.

“Hi, Phil,” Zoe called as she walked in, “you can head home if you want.”

“Okay, yeah, thanks Zo.” Phil said, moving out from behind the counter. “Are you coming, Dan?”

“Yeah,” Dan said, picking his stuff off the counter. Zoe’s eyes flickered between the two boys, and Phil realized he should probably introduce them.

“Oh, Zoe, this is my new flatmate, Dan,” he said, “Dan, this is Zoe.”

“Nice to meet you,” Dan said, without a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He actually seemed… pleasant.

“Nice to meet you, too,” she said, though she still looked confused.

“See you later, Zo,” Phil called, grabbing Dan’s wrist and hauling him outside.

“What was that about?” Dan asked, laughing.

Phil shrugged, “I didn’t feel like getting quizzed by Zoe right now.”

“And what would she be quizzing you about?” Dan said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe how you moved in with me after knowing each other for only a week. People are gonna talk, Dan,” Phil said.

Dan stepped forward, close enough that their noses were almost touching, “let them talk,” he said, bringing his lips down to brush across Phil’s. It was short and chaste, nothing like Phil had thought kissing Dan would be like. It was barely even a kiss, but it sent electric shocks racing through Phil’s body.

Dan was smirking against his lips, bringing his hands up to rest on Phil’s waist.

“You’re an ass,” Phil said, reaching up to press another kiss to Dan’s lips.

“But you love me,” Dan told him, winking.

“Yeah, I do,” Phil said, making Dan’s grin grow even wider.

“I love you, too,” Dan said, not one hint of sarcasm in his voice.


	11. Married and Go Home

**Summary:**  After getting more than a little drunk at Zoella’s beauty launch, Dan and Phil decide to get married in the middle of the pavement (songfic)

**Genre:** fluff

**Warnings:** like one swear word? **  
**

**Words:** 1,106

**A/N:** Some of you may know [this](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com/post/105066124838/married-by-emily-kinney#notes) edit that I made a few days ago, well today it decided to work itself into a full length fic, so here it is :)

_**In no way to I pretend this is real, or cast allegations on Dan and Phil** _

_**The song used is Married by Emily Kinney, listen to it[here](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DUu2bYkdYGcQ&t=MGNiYWVlMzFiYWFiZWU3NzZkOTZkZGYwMmU4ZThlZDg5MmY3ODg4YixQbUVqRm1PTw%3D%3D&b=t%3AQJ6RQ5uTPhAxWGZBaRIGxg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnotanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F105310226098%2Fmarried-and-go-home&m=1) ** _

_Nobody likes us, at this party_

_Nobody likes us on this couch_

_We can’t stop eating the candy,_

_We can’t stop making out_

“Everyone put their cameras away,” someone hollered, probably Louise, though Dan and Phil were both too far into their drinks to notice, or care. Instead, their concentration was on the other. Phil’s hands were warm on Dan’s waist, Dan’s fingers tangled into the older boy’s hair, their lips meeting sloppily.

 

It was Zoe’s beauty launch, and while it had been nice to see their friends, both boys had retreated to the quiet safety of the couch tucked away by the food. A bottle of wine they had picked up, or maybe snuck in, was clutched between legs, and when they kissed their lips tasted like fruity alcohol and suger.

Someone wolf-whistled, making the two boys jump apart, faces burning red.

“Let’s get out of here,” Dan whispered, his breath warm against Phil’s ear, the words just barely ghosting the air between them.

“But I’d feel bad, this is Zoe’s special night,” Phil whispered back.

“We made our apperence,” Dan said, bending forward to press another kiss to Phil’s lips, and any of Phil’s resolve washed away, because damn, it’s been five years and Dan could still make him speechless.

_Should we get married tonight?_

_Once we’ve drank up the wine_

_Would you marry me and always be mine?_

_It’s such a nice night in Brooklyn_

_And we shouldn’t be alone_

_Let’s get married, baby, married and go home_

“Marry me,” Dan said, between kisses, and it was so quiet that Phil wasn’t entirely sure that he had heard him at all. Until he repeats himself, “I’m serious, let’s get out of here, let’s get married.”

“Okay,” Phil whispered, giggled, and the wine was definitely going to his head, or both of their heads. He and Dan had never even talked about marriage, had just assumed they would live life togeather as they always had. They hadn’t talked about rings or children or getting a bigger place. They hadn’t talked about it, but maybe they had both been thinking about it.

“Really?” Dan asked, grinning wide enough that it could light up the room, and a part of Phil wonders if they would even be having this conversation if they were both sober. Probably not. Then Dan’s kissing him again with candy flavored lips and all of his thoughts are abandoned.

“Come on,” Dan said, pulling Phil off the couch and toward the front door.

_And the moon can be our witness_

_And north fifth street the aisle_

_And when we kiss the stars will cheer and cry and smile_

_Our friends will feel left out, and our parents had no warning_

_But we’ll call them with the good news in the morning_

The stars were twinkling overhead, shinny pinpoints of light barely seen because of the streetlights. But if you focused, really focused, they were there. Dan stopped, turning to take both of Phil’s hands in his.

There was no tuxes, no crowd, no friends and family, just the two of them. Just the two of them and the stars and the moon. And Dan was wearing his studded shoes, and neither of them had a tie or rings. They were both more than a little drunk, and it wasn’t even a real ceremony. But Dan was grinning like it was the best night of his life, and his smile was infectious so Phil was grinning, too.

Dan stepped forward, closing the space between them, his hands releasing Phil’s to grab onto his waist instead.

“Do you, Phillip Michael Lester, take Daniel James Howell to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Dan asked, his voice low and surprisingly serious.

“I do,” Phil said seriously, before giggling, “though I don’t think ‘lawfully’ is the right term.”

Dan grinned, “Maybe not,” he allowed.

“Do you, Daniel James Howell, take Phillip Michael Lester to be your not-so-lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

_And let’s get married tonight_

_Once we’ve drank up the wine_

_Would you marry me and always be mine?_

_It’s such a nice night in Brooklyn_

_And we shouldn’t be alone_

_Let’s get married, baby, married and go home_

“I love you,” Dan said, before bring his lips down to meet Phil’s, their 'I do’s still hanging in the air. The kiss was short and chaste, as if there really was a crowd watching them. And Phil can’t help but think that this little ceremony in the middle of the pavement was better than anything else they could have done.

“I love you too, Bear,” Phil replied, rubbing their noses togeather in an Eskimo kiss.

“Let’s go home,” Dan whispered, though they were alone, “it is our wedding night after all.”

Phil felt a blush creep over his cheeks, and he can see that Dan’s smirking, but he doesn’t complain when the younger boy grabs his hand and pulls them along the pavement.

_I don’t wanna be at this party anymore_

_They’re running out of jellybeans and there’s no wine left to pour_

_We don’t wanna be at this party anymore_

_Make up lies and say goodbyes_

_And meet me at the door_

“Good morning, husband,” Dan whispered, his breath tickling the back of Phil’s neck. His arm was draped across Phil’s stomach, his bare chest pressed against Phil’s back.

Phil turned over, so that their faces were nearly touching, “good morning.” His head was pounding slightly, the only evidence that he had drank last night. Well, that and the new term of endearment Dan had for him.

Dan Howell, or was it Howell-Lester now?, his husband.  Well, okay maybe not officially or legally, but to each other. And it was kind of different now, it was kind of official to them now, like they were a family of their own.

And they had kind of already been a family of their own for some time now, they just never really talked about it. Maybe now they would talk about it, over morning cups of coffee and in between TV marathons. Maybe now they would talk about getting real rings and a real ceremony and adoption and getting a bigger place.

Maybe now they would, but in this moment, morning snuggles and Eskimo kisses and lazy sunshine filled mornings and breakfast in bed was enough. Their new definition of their relationship was enough. Their love was enough.

_And let’s get married tonight_

_Once we’ve drank up the wine_

_Would you marry me and always be mine?_

_It’s such a nice night in Brooklyn_

_And we shouldn’t be alone_

_Let’s get married, baby, married and go home._


	12. All I Want for Christmas is You

**Summary:**  When AmazingPhil convinces his flatmate (nonyoutber!Dan) to film a Christmas video, things get a little out of hand when his fans are convinced they’re a couple. 

**Genre:** fluff, au

**Warnings:** none, I think

**Words:** 1,976

**A/N: Happy Holidays!!!** I wanted to get everyone into the holiday spirit so I wrote a little fic, hope you like it :)

“Dan!” Phil called from the kitchen, “are you ready?”

Dan closed Tumblr with a groan, not quite sure what he had gotten himself into. He walked into the kitchen, where Phil was setting up to film.

“Are you sure about this, Phil?” Dan asked, “What if I mess up?”

“Then we can edit it out,” Phil said, turning to face his best friend, “and I’m sure if you’re sure. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

Dan shook his head, he made a promise and he was going to keep it, “no, I’ll do it. I’m just kind of scared. I mean, you’re AmazingPhil and I’m just some nobody. How can you be so sure that your fans will like me?”

Phil frowned, “Daniel James Howell, you are my best friend, not some nobody, so quite talking about yourself like that.” Then he grinned, “And I may or may not have mentioned that you’d be joining me in my next video during my last liveshow. Everyone in the chat seemed excited.”

“Phil,” Dan whined, “it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Stop complaining,” Phil said, “help me get ready.”

Tossing the ingredients they were going to use at Phil, Dan was careful to keep away from the camera as Phil started speaking.

“Hey guys,” Phil said, waving at the camera. “So today I have a bit of a treat for you, I’m going to be baking! But I can’t do it alone, so please welcome my glamorous assistant,” he paused dramatically, waving his fingers in Dan’s direction. Dan slid into the camera’s view, almost body checking Phil in the process, “Dan Howell.”

“Hello Internet,” Dan said, giving the camera an awkward two-fingered wave.

“So Dan isn’t a YouTuber so you don’t know him, but he’s my flatmate,” Phil explained.

“And Phil recruited me to help destroy our kitchen,” Dan cut in, his nerves settling, though he felt a bit odd talking to a camera, it wasn’t as scary as he’d thought it would be.

Phil grinned at him, before looking back at the camera and holding out the mixing bowl full of ingredients he was holding, “First things first, Dan, tell the internet what we’re making.”

“We’re making Christmas cookies, and not just any cookies, freaking Delia Smith Christmas cookies!” Dan exclaimed.

“Thanks for the recipe, Delia,” Phil said, before listing all of the ingredients.

-

“Phil, you’re not mixing it enough,” Dan complained, snatching the mixing bowl and whisk from his friend. Phil pouted at the camera, but Dan ignored him.

“Okay so once you have a gooey ball of dough, separate it into separate little piles so you can add the colored dye. For example, Dan and I are making are cookies green, red, and leaving some plain. Then you have to roll out the dough, and you can cut out shapes.”

“For example, you can use cookie cutters you stole from your mother like Phil did,” Dan said, smirking.

The two boys bustled around the kitchen, cutting out their cookies.

“Okay, so our cookie dough is in the oven,” Phil narrated, “so you know what this means, Dan?”

“Dance party?”

“Dance party.”

Blasting Christmas music, the two boys attempted to dance, succeeding only in making a fool of themselves.

The timer went off, and Phil grabbed his oven mitts, “Safety first.”

“And remember, if you’re like twelve, get a parent to help you,” Dan added.

“Now we have to wait for the cookies to cool before we can decorate them.”

The two boys moved the cookie tray onto the dining table, where Phil had already set out his collection of icing and sprinkles. It takes a while to move all of Phil’s camera equipment, and by the time Phil’s done setting up the cookies are cool and three seem to have disappeared into Dan’s mouth.

“Dan did you eat some of the cookies?” Phil asked as he sat down.

“No,” Dan insisted, wiping crumbs off his face.

“You so did!”

“You have no proof,” Dan said, wiping his mouth again.

Phil shook his head, looking back at the camera, “So I got all sorts of colored icing: red, green, white, blue, yellow, and orange.”

“Um, Phil,” Dan asked, squinting his eyes, “why do we need yellow and orange?”

“So I can make a lion!”

“You’re an idiot, Phil.”

-

“Have you uploaded the video, yet?” Dan asked Phil, as Phil exited his bedroom.

“Yeah,” Phil said, nodding and yawning at the same time.

“Did they like me?” Dan asked, chewing on his lip.

“I honestly haven’t checked; want to go through my Tumblr?” Phil asked, sitting next to Dan on their couch.

Dan nodded, typing ‘AmazingPhil’ into the Tumblr search bar. Immediately his dash filled with gifs of himself and Phil from the baking video.

“I think they like you,” Phil said, peering over Dan’s shoulder.

Dan shared a relieved grin with his friend. Scrolling down, Dan was greeted by an image of himself looking at Phil while he talked to the camera with the caption ‘Heart-Eyed Howell’.

“Well that’s awkward,” Dan muttered, blushing. Where his feelings really that obvious that strangers on the internet could pick up on them? If so, how could Phil be so blind?

“Oh, don’t worry about the shippers.” Phil said, “Every time I’m in a video with someone they think we’re dating. What did they tag it?”

“Um, AmazingPhil, Dan and Phil, and Phan,” Dan read aloud, “What the hell is Phan?”

Phil merely shrugged, “let’s find out.”

The Phan tag is filled with gifs and text posts about them, which Dan finds a little weird.

“Yep. They think we’re dating,” Phil said finally. Dan opened his mouth to reply, but then just closed it.

“Your fans are weird,” Dan finally settled for.

“They’re your fans now, too,” Phil replied, cheekily.

-

Phil tossed himself onto his bed. He and Dan had been going through the ‘Phan’ tag on Tumblr for the better part of an hour. He was an idiot. Why would he think that he could have Dan in his videos without something like this happening?

Phil had had a crush on Dan since they chatted on Skype every night. He’d had a crush on Dan, the eighteen year old existential crisis filled boy, and still had a crush on Dan, the twenty-three year old law dropout. Of course his fans would pick up on that, and now Dan would, too.

Phil had been trying to convince Dan to do YouTube for years, but his friend always chickened out. Now that Dan finally was in an AmazingPhil video, well he probably would never want to be in another.

A soft knocking on his bedroom door interrupted Phil’s inner musings. Dan stood in the doorway, knocking on the open door, his hair wavy, like he had just gotten out of the shower. Phil tried not to think about Dan in the shower.

“Hey,” Dan said, “can I come in?”

“Sure,” Phil said, sitting up and crossing his legs.

Dan stepped into Phil’s room, joining him on the bed, “I had a lot of fun. Filming, I mean.”

Phil smiled, “I’m glad,” and he was, because YouTube was a huge part of his life and he wanted to share it with Dan. Dan was drumming his fingers against his knee, and Phil found himself humming ‘Jurassic Park’ to the rhythm.

“Can we do it again? I mean all of my new followers on Twitter is a little weird and so are all those gifs on Tumblr, but I had fun,” Dan sounded nervous, his voice quivering.

Phil felt his mouth pull up into a grin, “Of course we can! We can do whatever you’d like.”

-

“Are you sure about this?” Phil asked Dan, checking his camera one last time.

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, “I’m good with it.”

“Okay, see you in the morning.”

Dan tossed and turned all night, more excited than nervous. Tomorrow, he and Phil were filming a ‘Day in the Life’ video. Phil had thought it might convince his fans that they were just best friends.

Phil had also actually made some plans, so they wouldn’t just be sitting on their respective laptops (although that would be far more accurate).

The door creaking open drew Dan’s attention, and he flipped over to see Phil standing in the doorway, his hand paused midair, about to knock.

“You awake?” Phil whispered, his voice cutting though the darkness.

Dan nodded, and then realized that Phil probably couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he croaked, his throat dry.

Phil shuffled into the room, apparently dragging his duvet with him. He climbed on top of Dan’s bed, sitting do that his back was pressed against Dan’s legs.

“You nervous about tomorrow?” Dan asked, his fingers itching to brush out Phil’s bedhead.

Phil shrugged, “not really,” he admitted quietly, “I just, I dunno, I guess I kind of liked it.”

“Liked what?” Dan asked, rubbing his eyes, his tired brain not quite keeping up with the conversation’s sudden turn.

“Us. Being mistaken for a couple,” Phil said, even quieter.

“Oh,” Because Dan’s an idiot and the guy he’s liked since forever is kind of admitting to liking him back and that’s all he can say, “Oh…”

“Yeah, it’s stupid,” Phil said, picking at something on his blanket.

Dan’s brain finally catches up to what Phil’s saying and his mouth is finally working properly, so he reaches over to wrap Phil’s hand in his own, “No it isn’t.”

Phil turns to face him; eyes big and blue even in the total darkness. “It isn’t?” he asked, and his voice was small, as if he was dreaming.

Some small part of Dan’s brain wonders if Phil’s ever dreamed about him.

A bigger part of Dan’s brain is telling him to reach over and kiss Phil. He leans in slowly, giving Phil time to pull away, if this isn’t what he wants, before pressing his lips to the older boy’s. It was short, chaste, barely more than a simple brushing of the lips, but it sent sparks of electric down Dan’s spine.

He pulled away, gazing into Phil’s eyes like he was drowning in them. “Was that okay?” he asked, trying and failing not to blush.

Phil nodded mutely, darting forward to press another kiss to Dan’s lips. It was different this time, their mouths moving against each other’s messily. The kiss was deeper and Dan was acutely aware of the fact that Phil tasted like toothpaste, his hands had moved from their place at his side to explore Phil’s body in a way he’d never been allowed to before.

Dan pulled away, his need for oxygen seeming stupid. Phil was breathing heavily, his hair sticking up in odd directions from Dan’s fingers.

“Can I sleep here?” Phil asked, already crawling under Dan’s blankets.

“Sure,” Dan whispered, “goodnight, Phil.”

-

Dan wakes up warm, and he’s not sure why at first. Then the memories from last night rush back, and he realizes that his arm is thrown around Phil’s waist and their legs are tangled together. Opening his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of black hair and pale skin.

Phil stirred beside him, sitting up. He looked around, confused, until he noticed Dan lying beside him. Leaning his back against the headboard, Phil lifted up his hands to play with Dan’s hair.

“Are we still vlogging today?” Dan asked, moving so that he was resting his head on Phil’s chest.

Phil shrugged, “I can think of something better to do,” he said, bending down to capture Dan’s lips with his own.

-

“Hey guys, so I recently posted a baking video with my friend, Dan, and well we decided to do another video today. So yeah, this is the boyfriend tag. Dan would you care to join me?”


	13. Dancing in a Snowglobe, Round and Round

**Summary:** The last thing Phil Lester wants is to be forced to spend his Christmas break at school along with the other kids whose parents can’t be bothered to spend time together, until he meets Dan Howell that is. Dan is everything Phil’s not, rich, confident, (slightly annoying), and Phil won’t lie, he’s intrigued.  

**Genre:**  fluff, boarding school au

**Warnings:**  none, I believe

**Words:** 3,247

**A/N: Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you enjoy my latest fic, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! I would also like to thank my beta, the lovely[katthequeen520](http://tmblr.co/m1k_41l3mTle-MiSBbT4lqg) for helping with this fic :)**

The grounds seemed different, now that almost everyone was gone. It was quieter, more peaceful, but lonelier, too. A thin sheet of unbroken snow coated Stamren Academy, one of the most prestigious boarding schools in northern England. It was the first day of winter break, and while most students had gone home for the holidays, a handful of students who simply didn’t have anywhere else to go remained.

Phil Lester was one such student.

The dining hall was nearly empty, where it was usually bustling with life, and instead of being forced to sit at a table with the students from their dorm, the remaining kids were free to sit with their friends. Since all of Phil’s friends had gone away for Christmas, that meant he was alone.

 

It was hard not to feel jealous, when his friends talked about cruises and trips to Australia with their family, reminding him that he was here on a scholarship. Reminding him that he wasn’t one of the rich kids who could get away with whatever they wanted, reminding him that he had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep his spot.

Which was why rereading his English notes, shoveling soggy cereal into his mouth.  Sure, it was break, and he didn’t exactly have any homework, but he had a huge test after break was over that he desperately needed to study for.

“Are you really doing schoolwork?”  Someone asked, slinging their bag onto the table. Phil jumped in surprise, dropping his spoon into his bowl, before looking over to see who had interrupted his silent moping. Dan Howell was dropping onto the bench across from him, fingers loosening his tie. Phil bite his lip, so he wouldn’t squeak in surprise. For one thing, he hadn’t realized that Dan was still at school, and for another, Dan Howell was definitely not the kind of guy who would talk to him.

“Just looking over my notes,” Phil answered, snapping his notebook shut before Dan could notice the doodles in the margins. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad,” Dan said, holding up his hands like he was innocent.

“No, it’s fine,” Phil said, feeling slightly bad for snapping, even if Dan Howell wasn’t exactly known for being the nicest guy in school. “But why are you sitting here?”

“There’s no regulations on where I sit over break,” Dan said, indignantly.

“Well I know, but why are you sitting by me?” Phil asked, feeling more confused than ever.

Dan’s only answer was a shrug.

“Let me guess, all of your friends went somewhere for break so you’ve decided to annoy me,” Phil said, picking his spoon back out of his bowel so he could finish his cereal.

“I’m offended,” Dan said, though he sounded more sarcastic than actually offended.

“Because I’m right?” Phil asked, shoveling the rest of his cereal into his mouth.

“Because you’re an idiot,” Dan said without malice.

-

Since most of the students were gone, all of the normal classes were canceled, leaving the remaining students free to lounge around in their dorms or hang around the school. After breakfast, Phil stood up, meaning to go to the library and escape the quiet chatter that filled the dining hall. He was surprised when Dan stood up to follow him.

“Where are we going?” Dan asked, trailing alongside Phil.

“I didn’t realize  _we_  were going anywhere,” Phil replied, “but I’m going to the library.”

“Are you going to study more? Because that’s boring as hell, let’s do something fun.”

“Well what do you have in mind?” Phil asked, his pace slowing.

Dan’s chocolate eyes twinkled, “I have an idea,” he said, walking quickly down the hallway, leaving Phil no choice but to follow him.

“Outside? Why are we going outside? It’s freezing,” Phil called from the safety of the doorway. Dan looked back from where he was, reaching down to scoop up snow in bare hands.

“Because it’s snowed,” Dan said, looking at Phil like he was an idiot, then he grinned wickedly, “So we’re going to do this!” Then he chucked the snowball in his hands toward Phil’s face. It landed with a smack on the doorframe, before dropping to the ground.

“Dan,” Phil whined, “why are you throwing snow at me?”

“It’s called a snowball fight, Phil,” Dan said, mockingly, before throwing another snowball in Phil’s direction.

Phil glanced back inside, he really should go and study, but a snowball hitting him in the side of the head interrupted his thoughts. “Oh, you’re going to get it, Dan!” he hollered, grabbing his own handful of snow.

-

“I’m freezing,” Dan whined, blowing on his hands.

“Oh no, you started it. So that means you can’t complain,” Phil told him, as they walked back through the halls of Stamren Academy. Both of their noses were tinged red and their hands dripped with melted snow.

“Well you had fun, didn’t you?” Dan asked, “Got your mind off school for a bit?”

“Yeah, I had fun,” Phil allowed.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why aren’t you home for the holidays?” Dan asked suddenly.

Phil chewed on his lip, he didn’t want to lie, but he hadn’t told anyone at Stamren the truth, that he was only there on a scholarship. Would Dan Howell even want to hang out with him if he knew the truth?

“I’m here on a scholarship,” he admitted, “My family doesn’t really have enough money for me to be going back and forth all the time.”

“Oh,” Dan said, “I didn’t know.”

“No one did,” Phil said simply, as if he hadn’t just revealed his deepest secret to someone he barely knew.

“I’m the only person?” Dan asked, sounding almost awed, “You didn’t tell your friends or anything?”

Phil just shook his head.

“But then why  _did_  you tell me?” Dan asked, stopping in the middle of the hallway.

“I don’t know,” Phil replied honestly.

-

A knock on the door interrupted Phil, and he put down his copy of Wuthering Heights, making sure to bookmark his place. Climbing out of his slightly-too-small bed, Phil opened the door.

“Hey,” Dan said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey,” Phil said, confused. After they had parted ways earlier, a part of Phil had resigned himself to never talking again. After all, they weren’t friends, not really. So it was obviously just the surprise of seeing Dan at his door that had his heart pounding, that was all.

Dan lifted up the laptop bag hanging from his shoulder, “My dorm was empty and lonely so I brought Netflix.”

Phil felt a grin creep onto his face, if he had to admit it, his dorm was a little empty and lonely, too. “What are we watching?” Phil asked, moving so Dan could walk into the room.

“I was thinking  _the Nightmare before Christmas_ ,” Dan answered, sitting cross-legged on Phil’s bed. Phil had to bite back a chuckle when he realized that Dan was wearing a pair of snowflake patterned pajama pants.

“Good choice, I’ll go get snacks.”

-

When Phil woke up, he was staring at a wall. However, instead of being covered by posters it was bare and plain. Turning over, Phil caught a glimpse of Dan sleeping in the bed across the room. That was right, he’d let Dan sleep in his bed, leaving Phil to sleep in his roommate, Charlie’s.

Dan’s breathing, deep and even, filled the air and, trying not to wake the other boy, Phil reached over to the bedside table to grab his phone, deciding to scroll through Tumblr while he waited for Dan to wake up.

An hour later, about 10:30 in the morning, Phil decided that Dan had slept long enough.

“Dan,” Phil said, using his foot to poke the other boy’s side, “Dan, I’m hungry, wake up.”

Dan groaned, pulling his (Phil’s) pillow over his head, “don’t wanna,” he mumbled.

“Dan,” Phil whined, “it’s already ten-thirty.”

Dan tossed the pillow at the other boy before sitting up. Blinking sleep from his eyes, Dan looked adorable with his bedhead sticking up in different directions and marks from his (Phil’s) pillow on his face. “Fine,” he said, yawning, “let’s go eat.”

-

The dining hall was nearly empty, with only a few late risers lingering. Dan was still yawning, and neither of them had bothered to change out of their pajamas. The handful of sleepy kids still present barely raised an eyebrow at the two latecomers, preferring to talk in hushed whispers.

“Are you ready for Christmas?” Dan asked as they sat down with their bowels of cereal.

“No, it doesn’t really feel like Christmas this year,” Phil said with a shrug.

Dan nodded, “I know what you mean, this is my third year staying at Stamren over the holidays. It was weird at first for me, too.”  

“That’s kind of sad,” Phil said, “that your parents just leave you here.” At the look on Dan’s face, Phil realized he had crossed some sort of line, “Sorry I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine,” Dan said with a shrug.

A silence fell between the two of them, broken only by the sound of spoons scrapping against bowls.

“What do you want to do today?” Dan finally asked, and Phil can feel some of the tension drain out of his back.

Phil shrugged, “Movie marathon?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

Three films and two cups of hot chocolate later, Dan and Phil were sprawled across Phil’s bed, talking about nothing in particular.

“You read a lot,” Dan commented, picking up a dog-eared  _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_  novel.

“Yeah, I like reading,” Phil said, glancing at his overflowing bookshelf.

“I read manga,” Dan said, “no one else knows that. They’d think it’s lame.”

“Manga’s cool,” Phil protested, “I like Death Note.”

Dan just nodded, playing with one of his earrings.

“What’s on your mind, Dan?” Phil asked, shifting so that his arms were wrapped against his legs, his back pressed against the wall.

“What’s going to happen once everyone else comes back? Once our friends come back? Are we still going to be friends?” Dan’s voice was quivering. Phil would be lying if he said that he hadn’t been wondering the exact same thing, although he had feared that the return of Dan’s popular friends would simply erase him from the picture. He hadn’t dare to hope that Dan valued their newfound friendship as much as he did.

“We’ll still be friends. Friends forever,” Phil said, decisively, pulling the other boy into a hug.

“And even longer,” Dan whispered against his shoulder, making Phil grin.

Of course Dan would make a Winnie the Pooh reference.

-

“Merry Christmas Eve-Eve-Eve,” Phil said, when Dan walked into the dining hall the next morning.

“I need coffee,” Dan grunted in response, running one hand through his hair. Something looked different.

“I didn’t know you had curly hair!” Phil exclaimed, leaning across the table to see it up close.

“And I didn’t know that you had glasses,” Dan replied, flicking Phil in the forehead.

“Ow!” Phil exclaimed, rubbing his forehead, “that hurt.”

“Sorry,” Dan said, though he didn’t look very sorry at all, “So what are we doing today?”

“I don’t know, I need to study my – “

“Oh enough with the studying! It’s break. We’re going to do something fun,” Dan said, and Phil knew that he wouldn’t be able to change his mind.

“Well what do you want to do, then?” Phil asked, glancing at the blizzard raging outside the school’s windows.

“I’ve got an idea.”

-

“What are you doing?” Phil whispered, watching Dan raid the kitchen cabinets. “We aren’t supposed to be in here.”

“Don’t be boring, Phil,” Dan said, pulling out a bag of American marshmallows.

“I’m being realistic,” Phil shot back, but he pulled himself up onto the counter so that he was sitting comfortably, anyway, “What are you making anyway?”

“You mean ‘what are we making’,” Dan said, holding up the bag of marshmallows, a chocolate bar, and some type of American cracker triumphantly. “Have you ever heard of s’mores?”

Phil looked confused, “No…. should I?”

Dan shrugged, “they’re popular in America. Come on, we need a fireplace.”

“I’m guessing you mean the one in the common room,” Phil said, sliding off the counter.

“You guessed right, but first we need some sticks.”

-

The fire was crackling cheerfully, both boys pleasantly warm from the combination of the open flames and Christmas jumpers. They were sitting on the floor, their shoulders brushing against each other. Sticky marshmallows and half melted chocolate coated their fingers, and cracker crumbs littered the floor.

“We’re going to get in  _so_  much trouble,” Phil said, although he didn’t move from Dan’s side.

“It’s break, none of the teachers care. We could get away with murder if we wanted,” the other boy replied cheekily.

“It’s true,” Phil replied seriously, “they still haven’t figured out where I hid the body,” but at the look on Dan’s face, he dissolved into giggles. “I’m joking!”

Dan’s face relaxed, “Okay good, for a minute I thought you were a serial killer.”

“Well, I am a cereal killer.”

“God, Phil, your puns are the worst!” Dan groaned.

“But you love me anyway,” Phil joked.

Dan stared at him, caramel eyes wide, “Yeah, I do,” he said seriously. His eyes flickered to Phil’s lips before darting back up to his eyes.

Phil felt his breath hitch, and the air between them seemed to be filled with sparks. Every inch of space between them seemed like it was miles too far, and Dan was scooting closer, until Phil could smell the chocolate on his breath.

“Can I kiss you now?” Dan asked, his voice lacking the usual bravado.

“Yes,” Phil whispered, the word lingering in the air between them.

Dan reached up, brushing his lips across Phil’s. His hands reached up to tangle themselves in Phil’s ebony hair.

Dan’s lips were chapped, and he tasted like sugar and chocolate,, and it was probably the best kiss Phil’s ever had.

-

Phil’s not exactly sure what they are, because it’s Christmas Eve, and they’ve spent the last two days stealing kisses when no one’s around, and sharing lingering gazes when people were. Because it’s been two days and Phil doesn’t know what’s going to happen when everyone else comes back.

And it’s Christmas Eve, and Dan’s sleeping in Phil’s room again, and Phil almost doesn’t  _want_  Charlie to come back and throw off he and Dan’s routine. This time, however, instead of sleeping in Charlie’s bed, Phil was squeezed next to Dan on the too small twin, their pajama clad legs tangled together, and Dan’s stomach was pressed against his back.

It was late, and normally Phil would have been long asleep, excited for the next morning. But it doesn’t feel like Christmas here at Stamren. Christmas was meant to be spent at home with his parents and his brother and his family.

Instead, the only thing Phil could focus on was Dan’s arm around his waist and whether they were boyfriends or not.

-

“Here, Dan, this is for you,” Phil said, blushing, as he handed the package to Dan. They were downstairs, sitting by the tree in the common room. A handful of other students, all in pajamas as well, sat nearby, exchanging presents with their friends. The Christmas presents from his family, which had arrived in the post nearly a week ago, sat open and discarded. He had refrained from opening them until today, and made a mental note to call his mother later.

“Thanks,” Dan said, holding the package gingerly in his hands, looking at it as if it would disappear if he blinked. He tore the paper gingerly, unpeeling the tape, and just generally trying to keep the wrapping paper in one piece.

“A Charmander onesie?” Dan asked, laughing, “Are you serious? This is the best present ever.”

“You’re welcome,” Phil replied, feeling red creep up his cheeks, “I’m glad you like it.”

“Your turn,” Dan declared, handing Phil his present.

Phil ripped the paper open carelessly, earning him a glare from Dan, to reveal a  _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_  comic book. “Is this signed?” he asked, flipping open the front cover.

“Yeah,” Dan said, and he was blushing as well, “do you like it?”

“Like it?” Phil asked, disbelief audible in his voice, “I love it!” Then he darted forward to wrap his arms around Dan, pinning him to the floor. 

“Well I got the best Christmas present this year,” Dan declared, giggling, Phil still holding him on the ground.

“Yeah?” Phil asked, blue eyes wide.

“Yeah, you,” Dan said, sitting up so that he could press a quick kiss to Phil’s lips, not even caring about the other students in the room. As Dan pulled away, Phil thought he saw a couple in the corner of the room exchanging a fiver.

“I have to disagree, I think you’re the best Christmas present anyone could’ve got,” Phil argued, playing with Dan’s hair, which was still delightfully curly.

Dan blushed, his cheeks rosy, “Merry Christmas, Phil.”

“Merry Christmas, Dan.”

-

“I can’t believe it’s only been a week,” Dan said the next day, looking up from where he’d been scrolling through Tumblr on his laptop.

“Huh?” Phil asked, pulling out his earbud, looking over at Dan.

“I can’t believe it’s only been a week since I sat at your table,” Dan repeated, picking at something on the duvet.

“I know, I feel like I’ve known you forever,” Phil said, moving to go sit next to Dan on the bed.

“Are your friends going to be surprised that we’re dating?” Dan asked, moving his laptop so that he could rest his head on Phil’s chest. Phil felt his heart race, so they  _were_  official then.

“I’m surprised we’re dating,” Phil admitted, “So I’m sure that my friends will be shocked.”

“The reason I sat at your table was because I thought you were cute,” Dan said quietly.

“I thought you were just trying to annoy me, because you were bored,” Phil said with a laugh.

“Well, annoying you can be pretty entertaining,” Dan said, chuckling.

“Shut up!” Phil said, silencing Dan with a soft kiss.

“Well if you insist,” Dan said, reaching up to kiss him again.

-

Phil shoved a spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth, the cereal soggy. His hair was sticking up, and he hadn’t bothered to change out of his pajamas, which really he hadn’t done all break to be honest. His English notes were spread across the table (mornings were the only time he could study now, curse Dan and his distractively attractive face) even though he still had a week until break was over.

“I leave you alone for a few hours and you start doing schoolwork again,” an all too familiar voice said, followed by the sound of someone sitting down across from him.

Phil raised an eyebrow, feeling his glasses slip lower on his nose, “Some of us have to work for our grades.”

“I’m offended,” Dan said, mock hurt in his voice. Looking up at his boyfriend, Phil almost burst out laughing.

“Are you actually wearing the Charmander onesie?”

“Yeah,” Dan replied, grinning shyly, “I don’t really care what anyone thinks anymore.”

Phil reached over, taking one of Dan’s hands in his own. “I don’t either,” he said, honestly, reaching over to kiss Dan softly, toothpaste taste and all.


	14. In the Case of Binary Stars

**Summary:** In a world where the name of the people you love are visible on your wrist for all to see, Dan Howell prefers to spend his nights in solitude, wandering the city of Manchester. However, everything changes when he meets the blue eyed mystery that is Phil Lester. 

**Genre:**  AU, Soulmates (kinda)

**Warnings:** Really minor swearing (is that even a warning anymore???)

**Words:** 2,265

**Huge thank yous go out to my beta[katthequeen520](http://tmblr.co/m1k_41l3mTle-MiSBbT4lqg) and to [danteasers](http://tmblr.co/mWOVr1mhKfk_gxXJc9OmSHg) because without her space facts this fic wouldn’t exist! So thanks both of you!!!**

Dan knew the writing on his wrist almost as well as his own name. The name of his first kiss, a girl from secondary school, danced across his wrist in faded, almost too pale to read, grey cursive, and the name of his first serious girlfriend fell beneath it, in bold block letters, though it, too, was fading to a soft grey. That was it. Two names.

He knew that most people had more, in various shades of bright colors and fading greys. That was what happened. You fell in love and their name appeared on your wrist, bright and colorful at first. Then you’d break up, or drift apart, and the names would turn black, while you mourned your failed relationship, before fading to a grey so light you almost couldn’t read it, proof that you’d finally gotten over them.

But Dan, he was reluctant to love, always had been, reluctant to believe that there really was a person somewhere in the world who would never hurt him, or leave him. No, there hadn’t been a new name on Dan’s wrist since he was sixteen. Instead, he was a world-weary nineteen year old, about to go to a University he wouldn’t like for a degree he didn’t want.

Dan knew he could get off the train, simply decide not to go to Manchester, run away to London maybe. It’s not like anyone would care. He also knew that he wouldn’t do that, because he was a coward. Because there wasn’t anything for him in London, either.

-

He’s taken to walking around at night, it’s not a good thing, Dan knows. It’s not a good thing because who knows what sort of people wander around Manchester alone in the middle of the night. It’s not a good thing, but it’s one of the few things Dan actually enjoys, so he can’t bring himself to stop.

He’s not looking where he’s going. All of the lights are out in the houses and shops (except for Tesco’s which never seems to close, and Dan really gives the nightshift workers credit because that job would be boring as hell) so the only thing illuminating the night is the orange glow of the streetlights. Thick grey clouds hung in the sky, not that he could see the stars anyway, but Dan still finds himself with his head tilted up, straining to see beyond the veil.

That is, until his foot collides with something soft.

“Oomph,” Dan grunted, falling to the pavement, his legs scrapping against the harsh ground.

The thing he tripped over shifted, and Dan was surprised to realize that it was a person.

“Are you alright?” They asked, as if Dan hadn’t just run into them but fallen of his own accord. Blinking, Dan pushed himself into a sitting position, studying the stranger.

He only looked a few years older than Dan, with pale skin that glowed a nasty orange under the harsh streetlights and a dark fringe that fell in front of his eyes. Oh God, Dan felt like he could go swimming in those eyes, they were the clearest blue Dan had ever seen.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Dan said, coughing awkwardly and rubbing his sore knee.

“You should watch where you’re going,” the guy said, though his voice was soft and lacking the anger Dan had expected. His stare was steady and unwavering, it was unnerving but also surprisingly pleasant. No one had looked at Dan like he had something important to say for a long time, and Dan wonders if he and this guy could be friends.

“I was watching the stars,” Dan admitted quietly, “and it’s not my fault that you decided to take a nap in the middle of the pavement, bloody hell, what were you thinking?”

“I was watching the stars too,” the guy said, “but you can hardly see them tonight.”

“You can hardly ever see them, we’re in the middle of bloody Manchester,” Dan replied, though a grin was creeping onto his face. The two boys looked at each other, both seeming content to stay seated on the ground.

“I’m Phil,” the stranger said at last, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

“Dan,” and then the silence fell between them again, neither exactly sure what to say. Phil shifted, so that his knee was pressed against Dan’s, though there was still a wide space between their shoulders. As he moved his jacket shimmered, and Dan had to bit his lip to keep from laughing. Of course Phil would have a galaxy print jacket. On anyone else it would’ve looked tacky, but it suited Phil, it looked cute.

Wait. Cute?

“Did you know that there’s a shooting star named Mira the red giant? And it flies around space leaving a trail of stardust that is reborn as new stars?” Phil asked, his face lighting up.

Almost unwillingly, Dan felt a grin creep onto his own face, “no, I didn’t know that, Phil,” he admitted, biting back a chuckle.

“Well now you do.”

-

There was really no reason for them to see each other again, Dan knows. They hadn’t exchanged names, let alone phone numbers. Still, Dan finds himself walking around at midnight more often. And he doesn’t see Phil the first few days, not that he really thought he would. In fact, a part of Dan’s brain had resigned to never seeing the mysterious stranger again.

So when he sees Phil lying in the exact same spot a week later, he bites his lips instead of grinning. As much as Phil intrigued him, Dan was terrified of the effect the black haired boy had on his heart.

Dan knew that if Phil stuck around, there could very easily be a new name on his wrist.

“You came,” Phil said, sitting up with a grin, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Have done for the past week,” Dan admitted, dropping down beside the other boy, their shoulders brushing.

“You have,” Phil asked, laughing, “and I didn’t want to seem overeager.”

“I am  _not_  overeager,” Dan protested, pouting slightly.

“Okay, fine,” Phil said shrugging, “then I guess I’ll see you next week.”

“You’re not leaving already?”

“Thought you weren’t over eager.”

“Shut up.”

-

“Hey Phil, do you ever wonder what the stars are like?” Dan asked, watching the sky. It was still Manchester, so hardly any stars were visible, but the ones that were sparkled above their heads.

“Giant balls of burning gas?” Phil asked cheekily.

“Shut up. I’m trying to be poetic here,” Dan replied, reaching over to push the other boy’s shoulder lightly.

“I think it’d be nice,” Phil said, his voice turning serious, “to have everything revolve around you.”

“Yeah, it probably would, wouldn’t it?” Dan replied, yawning.

“Tired?” Phil asked, with a yawn of his own.

“A bit,” Dan admitted, and he’s surprised when Phil drops his head so that it’s resting on his shoulder.

“You know that there’s a planet made entirely out of diamonds?” Phil mumbled sleepily. Resting his cheek on the top of Phil’s head, Dan smiled.

“No, I didn’t know that, Phil.”

-

Phil had written his number on the inside of Dan’s wrist, below the two names. It looked like a promise to Dan, a promise that the next place on the wrist belonged to Phil. He wonders if Phil has any names on his wrist, and he wonders why the thought of it bothers him so much.

The dark blue ink stands out against the paleness of his skin, and then numbers are still visible three days later when he sees Phil again.

“You didn’t text me,” the black haired boy said sadly, “I didn’t think you were going to come today.”

And he looks so heartbroken that Dan wants to cry. “I started to text you,” he said honestly, “but I couldn’t think of anything interesting to say.”

“You could’ve started with ‘hey’,” Phil muttered, picking at something on his jeans.

“It’s different,” Dan admitted, “thinking about you in the day. Because logically none of this makes sense. Logically talking to a near stranger in the middle of the night is dangerous.”

Phil looked up, his blue eyes sparkling in the glow from the streetlights, “Are we strangers?”

“Bloody hell, Phil, I don’t know how old you are, or what your last name is, or anything about you other than the fact that you know a lot about space.”

“It’s Lester,” Phil said, not looking up, “my last name is Lester.”

“It’s nice to meet you Phil Lester, I’m Dan Howell.”

-

Dan was grateful that the weather was cold enough for him to wear a jumper all of the time, because he’d been right. For the first time in three years there was a new name on Dan’s wrist. The word ‘Phil’ danced across his skin in bright blue letters, sloppy, like someone had scribbled it across his wrist. He wondered what his friend would think if he saw it. He wondered if his name was on Phil’s wrist, the other boy had taken to wearing jumpers, too.

Even the color of the letters served as a painful reminder of the other boy, the blue looked like someone had taken paint and tried to capture the color of Phil’s eyes. Though the plain blue could do little to match Phil’s radioactive swirls of blue, green, and gold.

“I’m going out to the country for a bit,” Phil said, his head resting on Dan’s shoulder.

“Oh, when do you get back?” Dan asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“Th-That’s the thing,” Phil muttered, “I was wondering if, maybe, you would want to, I don’t know, come with me?”

“What?” Dan asked, his mouth opening and closing so that he resembled a fish.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Phil rushed to add, “but the stars are really clear out in the country and I thought…”

“Phil, I’d love to come,” Dan said with a laugh, trying to push all thoughts of University and classes out of his mind, “when do we leave?”

-

Phil looked different in the daylight, less mysterious, more approachable. His shoulders where hunched, as if he was trying to avoid being noticed.

“Hey,” Dan said, as he walked to their meeting spot. Phil glanced up, meeting his eyes and smiled.

“You don’t happen to know how to drive, do you?” Phil asked as they walked.

“Yeah, I do, why?” Dan asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“That’s good,” Phil said with a grin, “because I don’t.”

“You don’t?” Dan asked, his eyes widening.

“No,” Phil admitted with a laugh, “I’m terrible.”

“It’s just like Mario Cart!”  

“I’m suddenly scared to ride with you.”

-

Muse was pulsing from the rental car’s speakers, the road stretching before them. Phil didn’t talk much, but compared to the loud University dorm Dan was used to, the quiet was peaceful.

“Why are we going to the country, anyway?” Dan asked, flickering his eyes from the road to Phil’s face.

“To visit my mum,” Phil replied, flicking his fringe out of his eyes.

“Bringing me home to meet the family already, Phil?” Dan asked with a smirk, making Phil blush.

“No, it’s just… I thought that,” Phil sputtered, his face glowing bright red, “did you know that the hottest planet in the solar system is Venus with an estimated surface temperature of about 462 degrees Celsius?” he asked quickly, obviously changing the subject.

“No, I didn’t know that, Phil,” Dan said with a laugh.

“Oh, pull over here,” Phil directed, pointing to a small country road.

“Are we almost there?” Dan asked, as he followed Phil’s directions.

“No,” Phil answered, shaking his head, “but it’s getting dark and there’s a hotel up ahead.”

“Okay, just tell me where to go.”

-

“Oh wow,” Dan breathed as he stepped out of the car. Night had fallen and the sky looked like drapes of black velvet dotted by stars so bright they seemed unreal.

Phil nodded, shoving the keys to their hotel rooms into his pocket, “Grow up in the city?” he asked, sitting next to Dan on the ground.

The grass was slightly damp, but Dan couldn’t bring himself to care, “Yeah, I’ve never seen so many stars at once.”

“You take them for granted when you see them every day, then you move to the city and realize just how much you miss them,” Phil said quietly, resting his head on Dan’s shoulder. Dan’s heart pounded at the sudden contact, and he forced himself to breathe.

“Can I show you something?” Phil asked suddenly, sitting back up so that his blue eyes were level with Dan’s brown ones.

“Yeah, what is it?” Dan asked, rubbing his wrist absentmindedly. Phil’s eyes followed the movement, though he was rolling up the sleeve of his own jumper. Taking a deep breath, the dark haired boy offered his wrist to Dan.

Even though he had been expecting it, Dan’s breath still caught in his throat as he traced the familiar letters on Phil’s wrist.

The word ‘Dan’ in tiny cursive, the letters red and visible even in the dark of night.

“Phil, can I show you something, as well?” Dan asked, offering Phil his own wrist.

“We’re like binary stars,” Phil said with a grin, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, “orbiting the same center of mass.”

“Phil, enough with the space facts,” Dan said, closing the distance between their lips.    


	15. Five Times Dan Howell Almost Said I Love You And The One Time He Did

**Summary:** Dan has trouble saying those three little words

**Genre:** fluff, tiny bit of angst

**Warnings:** none, I don’t think 

**Words:** 1,406

**A/N: So this is just a quick little thing I wrote today. It hasn’t been beta’d ~~so sorry if it’s bad~~  because [katthequeen520](http://tmblr.co/m1k_41l3mTle-MiSBbT4lqg) has been super busy editing an 11,000 word co-write I’ve been working on, so keep a look out for that! ALSO WHILE THIS IS BASED ON REAL PEOPLE, I am not calming that these events actually happened. Please remember that this is a work of fiction, thank you.  **

1\. The first time was during one of their many, many long Skype calls. In fact, it’d gotten to the point where they usually just fell asleep while talking, or listening to other’s steady breaths. And it was almost, if he closed his eyes, like Phil was in his room, in his bed, with him. Except the truth was always revealed by the lack of smell, the lack of added warmth, the lack of his best friend. **  
**

They’d both been silent for a while, though Dan could hear Muse playing softly through his computer’s speakers.

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” Phil asked, cracking open one of his piercing blue eyes. Not for the first time, Dan found himself wondering what those eyes would look like when they met in person. He’s not sure how long it took for if we meet in person to change to when we meet in person.

Shifting so that he was laying on his stomach, his chin propped up by his hand, “you’re my best friend, too,” he replied, and this was easy, this was familiar. Because they were best friends, but sometimes they flirted and that promised something more.

And Dan wanted it, he wanted kisses and cuddles and handholding, but Phil was older and Phil was his best friend and Dan didn’t want to screw everything up. So when Phil flirted with him, he flirted back and pretended it was something real.

Phil was studying him with both eyes wide and blue, and Dan felt like he could drown in them. “I wish you were here,” Phil said, moving his eyes from the screen  down to study his fingers as they picked at his blanket.

“So do I,” Dan whispered, thinking of just how far away Manchester actually was.

“How can you miss someone you’ve never met?” Phil asked, although he seemed to be talking to the air rather than Dan.

“Because you…” But the words ‘love them’ die in Dan’s throat, “I don’t know,” he finished lamely.

-

2\. The second time was when they met in person for the first time, and everything was different. Their boundaries were shifting. Kissing was allowed, it turned out. As were cuddles and lingering hugs and hand holding. And it was nice, it was perfect.  They were never clear what these new boundaries meant, they were best friends but not boyfriends, lovers but not partners. But it worked and it was them and it was exactly what Dan had wanted since the first time he’d watched one of Phil’s videos.

Every time Phil talked, Dan fell a little more in love.

But he was leaving tomorrow and it didn’t seem right to drop a bomb like that and leave, especially if Phil didn’t say it back. And even if he did, who knew when they’d see each other again.

So he kept silent and let Phil kiss his worries away.

-

3\. University was hard, university was hard and Dan kind of hated it, but he got to see Phil all the time so he supposed it wasn’t all bad. But when his schoolwork drove him to tears and he couldn’t so much as hear the word ‘law’ without wanting to scream, something had to change.

“Why don’t you drop out?” Phil asked, as he sat next to the other boy on the floor, “your YouTube account is really taking off.”

Dan sniffled, “you’re probably right,” he said, pulling on the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands.

“I’m always right,” Phil said cheekily, making Dan grin ever so slightly, “do you want some chocolate?”

“God, yes,” Dan groaned, pushing himself off the floor as he followed Phil into his kitchen.

Dan slid up into the counter, letting his long legs swing, and rested his head against one of the kitchen cabinets. Phil reached up, pressing a soft kiss to his friend’s temple.

“It’ll be okay, Dan,” he said, “I promise.”

And even though Dan knew that Phil didn’t really know that, he let himself be comforted.

“I…” He started, but trailed off, now wasn’t the right time.

-

4\. Something had happened between them. It had been happening for a while. When they met, they were young and enamored and they could keep their hands off of each other, but they were older now. They were friends, the best of friends, but they’d started sleeping in their own beds and they sat on opposite ends of the couch and Dan hated it.

He hated how they had never defined their relationship and how he’d never said ‘I love you’ even though he’d wanted to. Because when he watched Phil out of the corner of his eyes, Phil didn’t look over. And people were commenting, about how they seemed distant, how they sat so far apart during liveshows.

Dan hated that, too. Because these people could take two looks at them and know that something was wrong whereas Phil was acting like everything was normal and fine.

Dan wondered what would happen if he tried to kiss Phil. He glanced up from his laptop and studied his flatmate.

“Is everything alright, Dan?” Phil asked, barely glancing up from his own laptop screen.

“I…” Dan started, then shook his head, “yeah, I’m fine.”

-

5\. The last time Dan almost said it was New Years Eve, 2012. He’d had a bit too much to drink. He’d had a bit too much to drink and it was nearly midnight and all he wanted to do was start the new year off right.

A bottle of some cheap beer was gripped in his clammy hands. He could hear Phil laughing from where he was standing, against the wall of the kitchen. The flat was warm, too many bodies pressed into the too small space.

He thought about going and talking to Phil, they’d been better recently, talking more. But Phil seemed content to joke with PJ, and Dan didn’t really want to interrupt. Well, he did, but he wasn’t going to, so that wasn’t really the point.

Instead, he took another swig of his drink and headed off in the direction of the lounge.

Somehow he found himself next to Phil anyway.

“Hey,” Phil said with a grin, and it was the first time in a long time that Phil had smiled at him properly and it was seconds away from the new year, so Dan supposed he couldn’t be held responsible for what he was going to do.

He bent down, God it was weird having to bend down to kiss Phil, he used to be so much shorter, and pressed his lips across the other boy’s gently. He felt Phil stiffen against him, and for a minute, Dan thought he was going to pull away, but then the other boy’s hands settled on his hips and his lips moved against Dan’s.

Apparently Phil hadn’t forgotten how to kiss him either.

Pulling away to gasp for air, Dan studied Phil, ” lo-” he started seriously, but Phil’s lips crashing against his own effectively silenced him.

-

+1. It was the first day of 2013 and Dan was hung over. His head was pounding, but he had a big, stupid grin on his face that hadn’t been there in a long, long time because Phil had kissed him back.

Phil, who was currently standing in the kitchen, a half eaten bowl of cereal in his hands, had kissed him back. Phil jumped when he heard Dan’s heavy footfalls coming up behind him, and setting his bowl down on the counter, Phil turned to regard the other boy with icy eyes.

“We need to talk, Dan,” Phil said, “what the hell was that kiss last night, Dan? This isn’t some game where I’m around to make out with you whenever you’re in the mood, Dan,” he snapped, leaving Dan blinking in surprise, Phil never snapped at him.

“It’s not a game to me, Phil,” Dan said, kicking the ground, “I love you, for real.”

“For real?” Phil repeated, sounding surprised.

Dan felt a blush creep on to his face, “yeah,” he muttered. Then Phil grinned his smile that could light up the room.

“I love you, too,” he said, “for real.” Then he was crossing the room and placing his hands on Dan’s hips. Bringing his lips down to the other boy’s, Dan couldn’t help but grin against Phil’s lips. He’d finally said it.


	16. Case Closed

**Summary:** Dan and Phil are lawyers, and sometimes their cases against each other get a little too…. heated (inspired by [this](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com/post/112167700983/howell-lester-phanfics-red-robin-hood-if-dan) post)

**Genre:** au, enemies to lovers

**Warnings:** swearing, implied smut

**Words:** 1,065

“Alright, fuck it,” Dan muttered, seconds before he slammed his hands down onto the table in front of him, “all due respect, your Honor-” **  
**

“There’s no real proof that can attribute to his statement that my client is guilty,” Phil Lester interrupted, cutting over Dan.

Dan bit his lip. It was always like this whenever he and Lester were against each other in the courtroom. Separately, they were the top two defense attorneys in the area. But when they were pitted against each other every little thing turned into some kind of sick mind game.

“I have plenary of proof, I have an eyewitness,” Dan explained, “would you care to have him return to the stand?”

“I’ve heard everything your so called ‘eyewitness’ has to say,” Phil replied with a sneer, “and frankly it doesn’t sound very credible.”

“He swore an oath!” Dan exclaimed.

“Maybe now would be a good time for a break,” the judge said, “take some time to clear our heads.”

Shooting another glare at Phil, Dan glanced down at the file in front of him. The trial was just getting interesting.

–

Tossing the case file down onto his desk, Dan ran his hands through his hair. He hated to admit it, but the case was going far worse than he had hoped. Phil Lester was right in the fact that Dan’s eyewitness was barely credible, not that Dan would ever tell him that.

The door to his temporary office opened, and Dan spun around, fully prepared to tell whoever it was to bugger off. However, the words died in his throat as he realized that it was _Phil_ standing in his doorway.

“Come to gloat?” Dan asked him, his voice bitter.

Phil’s face fell slightly at Dan’s words, and Dan felt slightly guilty. He hadn’t meant for the other boy to be hurt by his words.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Dan added quickly.

Phil just shrugged, “You looked upset,” he said simply.

“Because I’m losing,” Dan said, waving his arms vaguely.

“I kinda noticed,” Phil said, with the hint of a smirk. “One of these days you’re going to have to admit that I’m better than you, Howell.”

Dan snorted, “in your dreams, Lester.”

“Oh that’s right,” Phil said, looking thoughtful, “that was a dream,” he added with a wink.

Dan felt his face flush, “do you want anything, _Lester_ , or are you just in here to distract me?”

“Maybe,” Phil replied with a hint of a smirk, “see you around, Howell.”

As soon as the door closed behind him, Dan let out a groan.

Damn him.

–

Dan could barely look at Phil the rest of the day, he was _sure_ that his defense was no where near as good as normal. (Though Dan was fairly sure his client was guilty so he didn’t feel  _that_  bad.)

If the other boy had been trying to throw him off of his game, well Phil had succeeded.

If this was the next step in Phil’s mind games, then Dan supposed he’d just have to get on Phil’s level.

Which was why Dan was loitering outside of the courtroom, waiting for Phil to finish packing up his stuff.

Catching the other man’s arm as he attempted to leave, Dan pulled him along until they were inside of the space Dan was using as an office.

Dropping Phil’s arm, but stepping close enough he could hear the other man’s breaths, Dan leveled his brown eyes with Phil’s blue ones.

He’d never noticed how pretty Phil’s eyes were before.

Wait. Pretty?

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Dan whispered, his voice ghosting the air between them.

Phil swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You-You have?” he asked.

And Dan felt a bolt of pleasure run through him as he realized that he’d made Phil speechless.

Resting one hand on Phil’s waist, and ignoring how well it fit, Dan stepped even closer until there was barely any space between them. He’d never seen Phil react to anything like this before, and he didn’t want to admit how much he was actually thinking about-

His thoughts were cut off by Phil reaching up and pressing their lips together roughly. Shocked with both the realization that maybe this wasn’t as much of a game as Dan thought it was, and also of how nice it felt. Like Phil was the person he should have been kissing all along, Dan took a few seconds before he began to kiss Phil back in earnest.

He could feel Phil’s hands tangling themselves into his hair, and his own hands were creeping under Phil’s dress shirt, exploring his chest. He could feel Phil stumbling backwards, pulling him along, until Dan had Phil pushed against the wall.

“Fuck,” Dan muttered against Phil’s mouth, “this needs to go,” he said pulling away just long enough to pull his suit jacket off and start unbuttoning his dress shirt. Phil followed his lead, and it wasn’t long before both of them were shirtless. Dan wasted no time in attracting his lips to Phil’s neck, grinning in satisfaction at the marks he left on the other man.

“Come back to mine?” Phil asked, panting and breathless.

“Hell no,” Dan replied, “we’re staying right here.”

–

They did end up going back to Phil, and the cab driver had shot them more than a few dirty looks, not that Dan could really blame him. Neither of them seemed to be able to keep their hands off of the other long enough to give him more than a few simple directions.

“I really fucking hate you, you know,” Dan groaned, as Phil pulled him into his flat.

Phil reached over, pressing a kiss to Dan’s lips, “I hate you too.”

“No,” Dan protested, struggling with the buttons on Phil’s shirt  _again_ , “I really fucking hate you.”

“Well you’re an annoying asshole,” Phil replied.

“And your fucking hot,” Dan groaned as he pulled Phil’s shirt off.

“I know.”

“This is why I hate you.”

–

“Right, well anyways…” Dan said, standing up and fixing his tie. “I think if you examine the evidence you’ll find that there is simply no way my client-”

“Is anything but guilty,” Phil interrupted.

Fighting the grin that was threatening his face, Dan settled for a glare at Phil.

Sometimes going up against his boyfriend in court was more fun then he’d admit.


	17. Interesting by Far

**Prompt:** Anonymous inquired:  
okay so dan is a famous actor/singer or smthn right and he is dating phil who is still a youtuber and still works w bbc so like when they both go to the brits and such dan always goes and does phils games and such and like phil had to interview him for bbc and just fluff and idk it would be cute

**Genre:** au, fluff

**Warnings:** none I believe

**Words:** 860

**So this isn’t exactly like the prompt, but it’s pretty close, so I hope you like it <3**

“It’s going to be weird,” Phil said, tugging on his tie. **  
**

“Well it’s not like anyone knows we’re dating, Phil,” his boyfriend, Dan, said, glancing at Phil from the corner of his eye.

“Exactly,” Phil replied, waving his hands vaguely, “that’s why it’s weird.”

“It’ll be fine,” Dan said with a chuckle, reaching over to press a soft kiss to Phil’s lips.

“It’s the Brit Awards, Dan!” Phil exclaimed, “What if I mess up?”

“You won’t, just relax and have fun, okay? Besides, I’ll play all of your games with you, okay?”

“Really?” Phil asked with a relieved grin, “that’d be great.”

“Now come here so I can tell you how great you look in a suit,” Dan said, pressing another kiss to Phil’s lips.

–

Phil still wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing at something like the Brit Awards. He was just Phil Lester, a YouTuber from Manchester. He certainly never expected to work as a radio DJ and presenter for the BBC.

He never expected to meet Dan Howell. His boyfriend of almost two years, Phil couldn’t believe it. Dan was a pretty popular singer, even if he liked to insist that he wasn’t that famous.

In fact, Phil thanked his lucky stars that Dan had agreed to play the seven second challenge all those years ago. He didn’t know where he’d be if he hadn’t.

Tugging on his dress shirt, Phil glanced around the red carpet, looking for his first victim. He had a hat full of seven second challenges in one hand, and a board with the alphabet on it in the other. In fact, to most of the people around, he probably looked ridiculous.

He was about to go talk to Nick Jonas when Dan caught his eye and motioned him over. Letting out a sigh of relief, Phil wandered over, setting the alphabet board out of view of the camera.

“Hi everybody,” he said to the camera, “I’m here with Dan Howell and we’re about to play the seven second challenge. Now Dan, you’ve played this before. Do you remember the rules?”

Dan nodded eagerly, looking far too excited for someone playing a stupid party game on the red carpet.

“Okay, so your first challenge is to…. Tell me a secret,” Phil said, reading the tiny slip of paper.

Widen his eyes, Dan lowered his voice, though it was still plenty loud enough for the cameras to hear. “My boyfriend is here tonight.”

“Really?” Phil asked, laughing. His heart was pounding, he and Dan had never discussed coming out.. but Phil didn’t think he’d mind too much. If nothing else, it’d be nice to be able to go out to eat.

“Yeah,” Dan said with a nod. “But he didn’t know that I was planning on telling people that.”

“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled,” Phil replied, a smile playing on his lips. “Okay next challenge… Sing your favorite song.”

Dan smirked at him before launching into the opening of Toxic, which was their song. God, could he get any cheesier.

“I think that was better than the original,” Phil said with a laugh as Dan finished.

“I have been told I have the voice of an angel,” Dan said, cheeky little shit.

–

“Okay, are you up for round two?” Phil asked Dan as he pulled the alphabet board into the shot.

“Oh definitely,” Dan said, studying the different letters, “what do I do this time?”

“You pick a letter, and I have questions to ask you based on the letter you pick. Okay?”

“Okay,” Dan nodded, “I think I’ll go with ‘F’ then,” Dan said, reaching forward and picking off the piece of paper.

Glancing down at his cards, Phil read, “F is for friends, so who at the Brit Awards would you like to befriend?”

“Oh, that’s tough,” Dan said, looking thoughtful, “probably a tie between Taylor Swift… And you.”

Phil felt his cheeks flush, “really?” He asked, hating how high his voice sounded, “out of all of the celebrities here?”

“Oh definitely,” Dan said with a nod, “you seem the most interesting by far.”

“Thanks,” Phil said with a chuckle.

–

“I think that went well,” Dan said, after the camera had stopped rolling.

“You’re such an idiot,” Phil said with a smile, reaching over to poke Dan’s dimple.

“But I’m a cute idiot,” Dan replied with a grin.

“That’s true,” Phil said, nodding in agreement, “it’s your fault if people start pestering you about your boyfriend, though.”

“Oh, um, I was actually hoping we could do a video. You know, on your channel,” Dan said, rubbing his neck awkwardly, “I’ve been wanting to do one with you for ages.”

“Really?” Phil asked, “that’d be great!”

“Okay,” Dan said, “it’s a deal.”

“How are you going to seal that deal?” Phil asked cheekily.

“Like this,” Dan said, before reaching over and peaking Phil on the lips.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you at home, Dan Howell,” Phil said, “I have others to interview.”

“Make sure they don’t flirt as much as I did!” Dan called as Phil walked away.

Phil just shook his head, his boyfriend was such an idiot.


	18. (Not Such A) Rude Awakening

**Summary:** Dan definitly isnt expecting to be awoken by Phil, who looks exactly the same as he did five years ago. 2009!Phil isn’t quite as innocent as Dan remembers, but Dan’s just hoping they won’t break all of time and space

**Genre:** au,2009!x2015!

**Warnings:**  none, I believe

**Words:**  1,008

**Hey guys, so I decided to jump on the band wagon and write a 2009!phil meets 2015!dan, I honestly couldn’t resist. Shoutout toone of my good friends,[insanityplaysfics](http://tmblr.co/mQxVpu1n0BLwuJmEYdXE5Xg) ,because her story definitly inspired this fic. So I hope you enjoy…**

 

Dan definitely hadn’t expected to wake up to a pair of lips on his. Not that he was complaining, there were far worse ways to be awoken on a Thursday morning. Reaching up to run his fingers through Phil’s dark hair, Dan felt himself stiffen with shock. Because Phil’s hair had definitely not been that long when they went to bed. Eyes flashing open, Dan pushed himself away from the lips that were still eagerly pressing against his own. **  
**

“What the hell!” He exclaimed, “Phil?”

But there was no way that the Phil sitting practically in his lap was his Phil. The one he’d fallen asleep next to the night before. Because this Phil looked like he had walked right out of the original PINOF.

“You look older,” Phil said, eying him with appreciative eyes, “you look hot older.”

Dan felt his cheeks flush, he’d forgotten just how  _flirty_  Phil used to be.

“And you look younger,” Dan replied dryly, “so why don’t you tell me what the bloody hell is going on.”

“You think I know?” Phil asked, rocking back, the distance making Dan much more comfortable. “How much older are you,he asked reaching over to poke Dan’s dimple.

"You’re, what? Twenty-two?” Dan asked, suddenly realizing that he was older than Phil. That was something he never dreamed of happening.

“Almost twenty-three,” Phil corrected automatically, “but yeah.”

“That’s how old I am,” Dan said, “twenty-three.”

Phil’s eyes widened, “it’s been five years?”

“That’s how time usually passes, Phil,” Dan said slowly.

“Yeah, I know, but I mean… It’s been five years and we’re still together?” Phil asked, looking excited, “we’ve moved though.”

“We live in London now,” Dan explained, wondering just how much of the future he should explain to Phil, who was looking positively baffled. “Doing YouTube.”

“As a job? That’s amazing, Dan,” Phil said, looking excited. “I wish my Dan could see all of this.”

“He will,” Dan said, “but I still don’t know what you’re doing here? Am I dreaming?” He asked himself, pinching his arm, “ow! Okay, not dreaming.”

“If I’m dreaming, this is one weird dream,” Phil replied, looking around almost lazily, “I don’t think I’m creative for all of this.”

“I need coffee,” Dan muttered, pushing Phil off of his lap.

–

Dan studied Phil from behind his cup of coffee, the other boy was admiring their (their?) apartment with an almost childlike wonder.

“This TV is huge,” he said, messing with some of the gaming consoles, “and I don’t even know what this is.”

“Something you’re utterly crap at,” Dan replied lazily, “I beat you every time.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Phil said, “you were always better with your hands.”

“Shut up!” Dan said with a laugh, feeling the blush creep onto his cheeks again, “I never realized how much of a cheeky shit you used to be.”

“Used to?” Phil asked with a pout, “sounds like I got boring.”

“Never in a million years,” Dan said honestly, making Phil brighten up. “You just grew up.”

“How many subscribers do I have?” Phil asked, catching sight of Dan’s discarded laptop from where it rested on the couch.

“Spoilers,” Dan teased, “about two million, four thousand.”

Phil sucked in a gasp of air, “so many.”

“Yeah, it can get a bit much,” Dan admitted.

Phil nodded, “I bet.”

“Oh! I’m so rude, do you want something to eat?” Dan asked, moving toward the kitchen.

Phil shrugged, “whatever you’re having, baby.”

“God, you were  _such_  a flirt,” Dan muttered.

“You loved it!” Phil called from the lounge, before the sound was accompanied by a clatter. Biting his lip, Dan hoped that Phil hadn’t dropped anything too important.

–

“You know,” Phil said, getting up to place his bowl on the table and simultaneously dropping himself into Dan’s lap on the way back, “I kinda, really don’t want to keep my hands off of you,” he said, shifting so that he was practically straddling Dan.

His fingers played with the edge of Dan’s t-shirt, and Dan chuckled as he batted them away. “Wait five years, then you can have me as much as you want,” he said.

“That’s a long time,” Phil whined, “and I know you want me too.”

“Well you just have to be patient-” Dan said, however he found the words cut short by a pair of lips, warm and insistent, against his own. He could feel Phil’s fingers, warm against his waist, and his own hands found themselves tangled in dark hair (but it was too long, and the length no longer held the familiarity that it once did) purely from habit.

Pushing the other boy away slightly, Dan shook his head, “no kisses for you,” he said, gently pushing Phil off his lap and onto the seat next to him.

“You’re so boring,” Phil moaned.

“How would you like the idea of future Phil getting all hot and heavy with your Dan?” Dan asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Point taken.”

–

“How long do you think you’re going to be around for?” Dan asked, glancing up from his browsing position on the couch.

Phil was seated in front of the TV,ith playing round after round of the newest Mario Cart. “How should I know,” he replied, “I still don’t even know why I’m here.”

“Well neither do I! It’s just that Phil and I, my Phil, we have a radio show in a week. You can’t show up looking all 2009, the fans will know that something’s up for sure.”

“Radio show?” Phil asked, eyebrows raised in confusion, “what Radio Show?”

“Shit,” Dan muttered, “I don’t know how much I can and can’t say. What if we break time and space!”

“I’m sure we won’t break time and space, Dan,” Phil replied with a chuckle, “the logical thing, since neither of us apparently have any memory of this happening, is that none of us remember it.”

“Or we broke time and space,” Dan added.

“Or that we broke time and space,” Phil admitted with a puff of laughter.


	19. Bulletproof Picasso

**Summary: songfic based on the Bulletproof Picasso[video](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DjNHJ7zz16bY&t=MzdkZTg1MjIwZGI5ZDYwY2U2M2ZmNDdlOTc5YWVmMDNhYzQ0NTY1MyxvWFM4OVpiOA%3D%3D&b=t%3AQJ6RQ5uTPhAxWGZBaRIGxg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnotanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F112716721048%2Fbulletproof-picasso&m=1), Phil’s tired. Tired of walking, his plan to explore England on foot isn’t everything he’d been dreaming it would be. One night at a small town bed and breakfast could change everything.**

**Genre:** au, songfic

**Warning:** none

**Words:** 1,748

**Please note that the song used belongs to Train, and I hope you enjoy this fic  as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

_Am I made of paper?_

_Cause I tear so easily_

_Am I made of vapor?_

_Because I disappear_

_Do I have a reason, for anything I feel?_

_Just be glad I’m real, glad I’m real_

_Am I real?_

Phil glanced around, kicking his feet against the soft grass as he walked. The road stretched out beside him, a river of grey cement. Far, far behind him, hopefully far enough so that he’s never have to see it again, he knew the city of London stretched.

Half of his gut wanted to pull him back, back to the comfortable familiarity. But he had a bag on his shoulder and a camera hanging around his neck. That was all he had really, there was no place for him in the city anymore.

But he had underestimated just how much  _work_  would go into his dream of traveling the country. He had his (slowly dwindling) life savings in a plastic bag and sores on his feet from his shoes. The sign in his hand hadn’t yet caught the attention of any passerbies, or perhaps they had just ignored it. It was of little difference.

In an odd way he was content, happy to study the pretty green leaves that told him it was summertime, and happy to imagine just how colorful they would be when the season changed. But at the same time, his stomach was growling, his feet aching, and he was…. Bored wasn’t quite the right word, but it was close. He was tired.

_Are you made of lead paint?_

_A bulletproof Picasso_

_All the virgin saints_

_Put you here to care for me_

_I don’t need a reason_

_For anything I feel_

_Just be glad I say what I mean_

_And mean what I say to you_

He heard a car rumbling behind him, and spinning around, he held up the sign so that the driver could read it.

However, he was ignored, like always.

Groaning, Phil turned back toward the right direction. Apparently he had to just keep walking.

–

It wasn’t long before a tiny town was growing in the distance, which Phil was incredibly grateful for. Because his feet hurt, and he was surprised he’d been walking as long as he had.

As he grew closer, Phil studied the signs, he wasn’t that far from Brighton, the next stop on his tour around England. Actually, it was technically his first stop in his tour around England.

But really, who was counting?

Before he knew it, Phil was pushing open the door to a tiny bed and breakfast, exactly the place he didn’t have the money for. He really ought to go and find a cheaper hotel, if there were any around.

For some reason he found himself unable to leave.

That reason being the boy behind the counter, of course. Weren’t all bad decisions about a boy? But this boy, he had the same kind of hair as Phil, just in a warm chocolate brown, and he was wearing all black. Black jumper, black skinny jeans, really too much clothes for the middle of June. And he was… Pretty. That was the best word to describe him, Phil decided.

“Um, hi,” Phil said, stepping up tithe counter.

The boy looked up from underneath his fringe, “hi,” he said, and Phil hoped he wasn’t imagining the suggestive tone in the boy’s voice. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I need a room,” Phil said, reaching into his backpack to pull out some of his hard earned cash.

“How many nights?” The boy asked, looking genuinely interested.

Phil shrugged, “haven’t decided yet.”

_We don’t need a reason_

_For anything we feel_

_We don’t need a reason_

_Picasso’s at the wheel_

_So roll that top down, hell with this town_

_Leave our bags behind_

_We don’t need a reason_

_Cause I got you, and you got me tonight_

He was standing on the beach not far from the bed and breakfast, drawing shapes in the sand with his bare toes. He had rolled his jeans up, so that the morning tide wouldn’t dampen them. And he had decided to forgo a shirt, it was really too hot for his usual t-shirts. And besides, the sun felt nice against his bare skin.

He felt the movement behind him before he noticed someone slid into his vision, and turning his head slightly, Phil was shocked to see that the boy from the hotel had joined him.

“I’m Dan,” he said, offering both a slight smile and a hand.

“Phil,” Phil replied, taking the offered hand.

“What are you doing in a shitty place like this, Phil? If you don’t mind my asking,” Dan said, and Phil wondered idly if he’d ever really left the town for anything longer than a vacation.

“Passing through, I think,” Phil said, gesturing to the camera in his hand, “I’m exploring England.”

“Oh that’s cool,” Dan replied though he seemed slightly disappointed.

_Did you see the waves_

_Break into a million pieces_

_Or stay awake_

_With someone who was dying_

_You don’t need to tell me_

_Anything at all_

_I’m just glad you’re here_

_Glad you’re real_

_Are you real?_

The sun was setting and Phil was seated in the sand, letting the waves lap at his feet. Dan was sitting next to him, their shoulders barely brushing.

They’d been talking for hours, they had a lot in common it turns out, but now both had fallen silent.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Dan asked suddenly.

“No, not tomorrow,” Phil replied, shaking his head.

“Okay good,” Dan said, shifting so that he could rest his head on Phil’s shoulder. “I like having you around.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, picking up his picture to snap a picture of the sea. “I like being here.”

–

The air was cold with an unusual chill, but this was England, which probably meant that rain was on the horizon. Phil had lucked out with the weather thus far, and he had little desire to start walking only to get caught out in the rain. Or, at least, that’s what he told himself.

He was woken up by someone knocking excitedly on his door.

“Coming,” Phil called, rubbing his eyes sleepily. As he opened the door, he couldn’t help but remember that he was still wearing his plaid pajama pants and a pokemon t-shirt.

“You’re still not dressed?” Dan asked, studying him, “come on, we’re making the most of the time you have here. And,” he added, holding up a pair of car keys, “look what I have.”

“What are those?” Phil asked with a chuckle.

Dan only responded with a smirk and his brown eyes glowed with a mischievous twinkle.

_Am I made of timber?_

_Cause I’m on fire_

_Will you remember_

_Tonight for very long_

_You don’t need to sell me_

_On anything at all_

_Just say what you mean_

_And mean what you say to me_

Phil reached up, letting the cool air stream through his fingers, “I can’t believe you have a car like this.

Dan glanced over, his eyes flickering away from the road ever so breifly, "well if we’re going to explore the whole country, we need a cool right,” he said casually.

“What?” Phil asked, snapping his head around so that he was facing the other boy.

“I want to come with you.”

“You’re crazy.”

“So are you.”

“Point taken.”

–

“Stand right there,” Phil directed, shading his eyes from the bright sunlight. It had rained for almost a week straight while he and Dan took turns driving, but now the sun warmed their backs.

“Here?” Dan asked, positioning himself underneath a tree.

“That’s great,” Phil replied, pulling out his camera, “now just don’t look directly at me, okay?”

“Got it.”

Phil snapped a handful of pictures before Dan was moving, crossing the distance between them to snatch the camera out of his hand.

“Your turn,” the brunette said, grinning.

“Do you even know how to work that camera?”

“It’s a camera, you just push the button.”

–

“These are really cool,” Dan said, flicking through the Polaroids in between his fingers.

“I know,” Phil replied with a grin, his tongue poking out from between his teeth.

“I like this one,” Dan declared, pulling out a picture of the two of them with their faces smashed togeather so that they both fit inside the frame.

“Me too,” Phil agreeded, “that’s my favorite.”

_We don’t need a reason_

_For anything we feel_

_We don’t need a reason_

_Picasso’s at the wheel_

_So roll that top down, hell with this town_

_Leave our bags behind_

_We don’t need a reason_

_Cause I got you, and you got me tonight_

“Come on!” Dan called, ripping his shirt off as he waded out into the waves. Phil followed his lead, letting the cool water rush around his ankles.

“But it’s cold,” he whined, glancing around the stretch of empty beach they had stumbled upon.

“That’s what makes it fun,” Dan replied with a laugh, splashing water toward Phil.

“Oh, you’ll pay for that!” Phil hollered, reaching over and grabbing Dan. Their chests collided, and Phil felt his breath catch in his throat as he gazed down at the younger boy. He reached out, gently running his fingers through Dan’s curls.

Dan stared up at him, eyes wide and unblinking. He bit his lip, a nervous habit, then Phil was bending down, letting his lips ghost against Dan.

He had barely pulled away, before Dan reached up and pulled him in again.

His lips tasted like salt.

–

“I think I love you,” Dan said suddenly, looking up from where he had been tracing patterns into the hotel duvet.

Phil glanced up from where he was sitting on his own bed, mindlessly flickering through channels on the TV.

Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, and walking across the room to sit across from Dan on his bed.

“That’s good,” he decided, “because I think I love you too.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I kinda wanna spend forever with you,” Dan added, blushing, “you’re my best friend.”

“And you are the closest thing I have to family,” Phil said, reaching across to press a soft kiss to Dan’s lips, “and I’m not going anywhere.”

_Amber waves of grain_

_Fly by highway lanes_

_Waited for this change_

_Seems like my entire life_

_If only the good die young_

_We’ll outlast everyone_

_For some of the things we’ve done_

_And we’ve just begun._


	20. That’s What You Get (For Waking Up in Vegas)

**Summary:** While revisiting Vegas for Dan’s twenty fourth birthday, Dan and Phil both have a bit too much to drink…. and apparently wake up married. Dan’s not entirely sure that he wants a divorce, now he just has to convince Phil. 

**Genre:** drunk!marriage 

**Warnings:** Swearing, implied smut, umm.. they’re hungover?

**Words:** 2,492

The first thing that Dan realized, upon waking up in the morning, was that is was really  _fucking_  bright. The second thing, was that it was really  _fucking_  warm. And the third thing was that he was apparently really hungover. Groaning, Dan reached out, hoping he had at least taken the precaution of putting a cup of water on the bedside table before he had fallen asleep the night before, or that Phil had been gracious enough to put one there for him (which was probably more likely). **  
**

However his action was cut short the second he reached over and felt, not the cool glass of water as he had expected, but warm flesh.

Blinking his eyes open, causing his head to pound worse than it already was, Dan was surprised to see that apparently Phil had fallen asleep in bed next to him the night before, surprised but not entirely. This would hardly be the first vacation where they had too much to drink and couldn’t be bothered to move off of the closest bed, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

Dan closed his eyes, remembering the first time he and Phil had gone to Vegas together, his twenty-first birthday. If he remembered correctly, something similar had occurred, though he had been so wasted at the time most of the previous trip was just a blur. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t do that this time, but apparently he had changed his mind the night before.

“Phil,” Dan groaned, poking the other boy, “wake up.”

Phil opened his blue eyes slowly, and Dan had to remind himself in inhale. It was times like these that it really sucked, being in love with his best friend. Because all Dan could think about was reaching over and kissing Phil.

“Did I fall asleep in your bed?” Phil asked, searching the bedside table for his glasses, “sorry,” he said with a yawn.

Dan pushed himself up so that his bare back rested against the headboard, “if I remember correctly the same thing happened when I turned twenty-one.”

Phil laughed, then squinted his eyes, “why is the room so bright?” He asked quietly.

“We’re just really hung over,” Dan said, fully planning on searching for some medicine the second he got out of bed. Phil had finally succeeded in finding his glasses, and he pushed them on, though he was still staring at the end table rather seriously.

“Earth to Phil,” Dan joked, reaching over to wave his hand in front of Phil’s eyes. Phil, however, seemed unfazed.

“Dan,” he whispered, “what are those?”

–

Dan’s life was  _fucking_  ruined. Because apparently he had decided that getting absolutely pissed and then getting married (because he was in Vegas so why the hell not?) was a good idea.

So now he and a Phil were staring at two silver wedding bands and a DVD that were sitting on the bedside table, and Dan had a feeling that he really  _didn’t_  want Phil to watch that tape.

Dan felt like he was going to puke, obviously Phil didn’t even feel the same way about him. There was no way his friend would want to stay married.

Nope. Dan was going to get divorced before he was thirty. God, he felt like Ross from a bad episode of Friends (who was he kidding, there were no bad episodes of Friends).

“Tell me that isn’t what I think it is,” Phil whispered, finally breaking the tense silence that had fallen between the two.

“That is exactly what you think it is.” Dan replied. “Happy twenty-fourth birthday to me,” Dan muttered dryly.

Phil, however, ignored him, reaching over to pick up the DVD instead.  _Wedding 2015_  was written in black sharpie, and it was unmistakably Dan’s sloppy handwritting.

“What the fuck?” Phil muttered, and Dan almost jumped at the sound of Phil swearing. “I don’t know if I want to watch this.”

“I don’t think I want to either,”  Dan replied, his stomach rolling, and for half of a second he was afraid that the drinks from last night were going to make a reappearance.

Phil set the DVD down carefully, then turned his wide blue eyes on Dan, “what the hell made us think this was a good idea?”

“I thought that we were supposed to wait for 2022,” Dan said, though the joke fell flat.

Flopping backwards onto the bed, Phil groaned (which was very distracting, thank you very much), “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Me either,” Dan agreed, mirroring his best friend’s actions, as he tried to ignore how their elbows were brushing against each other’s.

–

They didn’t talk about it for the rest of the vacation, and Dan had taken the liberty of tucking the DVD into his suitcase, who knew what the hell was on that tape. He definitely didn’t want Phil to watch it.

However, a plan was forming in Dan’s head. Phil  _had_  agreed to marry him, even if he was drunk. Still, that meant that there was a chance that maybe his friend felt the same way. All Dan needed was a way to figure it out, without totally scaring his best friend off if he _didn’t_  feel the same way.

He just had to win the other boy over.

He could do that.

Or, at least, he hoped he could.

Neither of them drank very much, and the silver rings had disappeared (probably into Phil’s suitcase much the same as the DVD had disappeared into Dan’s). Dan had a feeling that his birthday could’ve gone much better.

In fact, the first time either of them even ventured anywhere near the topic was on the plane ride home.

“Are we going to get divorced?” Phil asked suddenly, and Dan couldn’t help but hope that none of their fellow passengers were listening in on the conversation.

“Does the marriage even count? I mean, over in England?” Dan asked, picking at something on his jeans to distract himself.

Phil was silent for a few minutes, thinking about what Dan had asked. “I don’t know,” he admitted finally.

“And we don’t have any papers or anything formal at all,” Dan said, “maybe it didn’t actually happen and I hallucinated the whole thing.”

Phil laughed, his first real laugh since the whole mess had begun, “now would be a good time to wake up, Dan,” he joked, reaching over to poke Dan’s dimple.

“Oh, I’ll close my eyes and wish really hard,” Dan said, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Maybe we should watch that DVD,” Phil said, “and see what actually happened.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

–

“Let me get that for you, Phil,” Dan said, rushing forward to opening the taxi’s door before Phil could reach it. Step One: Kill him with Kindness.

“Thanks, Dan,” Phil said, though he looked slightly confused.

It felt weird to be back in London, like everything that happened over in America was some intensely vivid dream.

Dan climbed into the taxi, tossing his bag to the floor near his feet.

“I think we should take advantage  of the fact that we’re technically on our honeymoon,” Dan said, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” Phil asked with a laugh, “like in the movies?”

“Exactly!” Dan said with a grin, “let’s go get some free stuff.”

“You’re such an idiot, Dan.” Phil replied, “what are we going to do? Get a hotel room in the city we live in?”

Dan shrugged, “why not?”

Phil looked unconvinced, “I don’t know.”

“Please,” Dan begged, giving Phil the puppy-dog eyes he knew the other boy could never refuse.

“Fine,” Phil relented, “where to you want to go?”

–

In the end, they settled on a hotel on the other side of town. It was a nice place, fancy. And Dan figured they didn’t have too much of a chance of bumping into any if their friends. In fact, the only thing they really had to worry about was their fans.

“If anyone recognizes us, we’re leaving,” Phil said, tugging on the sleeve of Dan’s jacket.

“Deal,” Dan agreed, he wasn’t keen on the idea of staying if anyone knew who they were either.

Luckily the hotel lobby was nearly empty, and Dan (tugging his wheeled suitcase along behind him) made a beeline for the front counter. He slung his arm over Phil’s shoulder and bent forward to speak to the woman working.

Phil shifted uneasily beside him, and Dan hoped he wouldn’t give anything away.

“Do you think I could book the honeymoon suit?” Dan asked in a low whisper, “I know it’s last minute.”

The woman looked up, a genuine smile replacing her tired grimace, “oh it’s no problem at all,” she said reassuringly, “it’s always lovely to have couples stay. When did you too get married?”

“A few days ago,” Dan admitted with a giggle, nudging Phil to make him join in the game, “isn’t that right, honey?”

Phil wrinkled his nose at the pet name, but he nodded eagerly, “who says the honeymoon has to end just because you got back home,” he said.

The woman smirked, her eyes twinkling, “here’s the key to your room then, have fun boys. My treat.”

Tugging on Phil to lead him away from the desk, Dan let out a relieved laugh. “I told you it would work.”

“I can’t believe it did,” Phil replied, shaking his head.

It wasn’t until they were halfway to their room, that Dan realized he still had his arm draped across Phil’s shoulder.

–

“ _Phil_ , there’s chocolate on the pillows,” Dan said with a groan, as he flopped down onto the mattress.

“And wine,” Phil said, pointing to the bottle that was chilling in a small basket of ice.

“How come we don’t ever stay at places this nice normally?”

“Because they put rose petals on the bed,” Phil said with a laugh, though he climbed into the bed next to Dan. He was right, the champagne colored duvet was covered in shiny red rose petals, but Dan ignored them, sweeping them to the floor carelessly.

“True,” Dan said thoughtfully, glancing around the rest of the room. It was nice. The huge queen sized bed took up most of the middle, though there was also a minibar and a vanity table lined with various scented candles. The cream walls were decorated with beautiful paintings of landscapes.

“And there is only one bed,” Phil added with a laugh.

“Like that ever bothered us,” Dan replied, “do you want a drink?”

“Yes please,” Phil said, moving so that he could rest his back against the headboard and flick through the TV channels.

Dan climbed off the bed to grab the bottle of wine that Phil had spotted a few minutes before.

Deciding to forgo a glass and just drink it out of the bottle, Dan climbed back up onto the bed, letting his shoulder brush against Phil’s, though the bed was plenty big enough for the both of them.

“Dan,” Phil said after a few seconds of silence, “I think we should watch that tape.”

Shit.  

“Okay,” Dan said, he  _really_  didn’t want to ruin anything depending on what he said on that tape, but apparently he wasn’t going to have a choice. He could always play the drunk card, though he wasn’t sure that it would help. “It’s in my bag.”

Phil got up, searching through Dan’s bag for a few seconds before he pulled out the dreaded DVD and popped it into the TV. He rejoined Dan on the bed, settling into the same spot before, and Dan took the advantage of resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. Who knew if he would be able to do it again.

It took a few minutes for the DVD to boot up, but as soon as it did, Dan could tell it wasn’t a video made by some crappy chapel with and Elvis priest.

No, it was a  _fucking_  vlog.

He could see himself in the corner of the screen, apparently walking a couple of steps ahead of Phil, who was holding the camera.

The camera panned around the city, taking in all of the sights.

“Were we trying to make up for the lost Vegas footage?” Dan asked, picking at the duvet. Phil just shrugged.

**“Why don’t you tell the viewers what we’re doing, Dan,” the Phil onscreen (though he technically wasn’t in the shot.) said.**

**“Getting married,” Dan said with laugh, and he was so drunk you could hear it in his voice.**

**“And why are we doing that?”**

**“Because I love you,” Dan said, reaching over and apparently poking Phil in the face.**

Dan stood up and switched the TV off quickly, “I can’t watch this.” He said.

Phil was staring at him, his blue eyes wide. “Did you actually mean that?” He asked stepping off of the bed and toward Dan.

Dan didn’t answer, studying the suddenly interesting floor.

“Dan,” and then his hands were being held by two pale ones. Phil’s slender fingers wrapping around his own.

“Yes.” Dan admitted quietly, “yes, I love you. I’m in love with you. Okay?” And he could feel tears prickling in his eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Phil asked, and he was close enough that his breath tickled Dan. “If you meant it?”

“Because I know that you don’t feel the same way and I’m an idiot who screws everything up,” Dan said, pulling one of his hands out of Phil’s to rub at his eyes.

“You’re not an idiot, Dan,” Phil said, “and you’re wrong.”

“What? I’m wrong about what?” Dan asked, finally meeting Phil’s piercing eyes.

“That I don’t feel the same way,” Phil said softly, before reaching up to brush his lips against Dan’s.

Dan swore an electric current swept through him at the contact, and he placed his hands on Phil’s hips, pulling the older boy back in when he tried to pull away. He could feel Phil’s hands twisting into his hair, and he pulled them backwards until he had fallen onto the bed. Phil straddled him, his legs resting on either side of Dan’s hips.

Phil’s hands reached underneath Dan’s t-shirt, exploring the warm flesh underneath.

“ _Fuck_ , Phil,” Dan muttered, reaching up to reattach his lips to Phil’s.

Phil pulled apart just long enough to rip his t-shirt off, while Dan followed suit. Both of them shirtless, Phil bent forward, attaching his lips to Dan’s neck.

–

“I love you,” Phil said later, lifting his head off of Dan’s bare chest.

“I love you too,” Dan replied, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s lips.

“I feel like we did things a little backwards, by getting married first,” Phil said, tracing mindless patterns onto Dan’s stomach.

“But it was perfect anyway,” Dan replied, running his fingers through Phil’s ebony hair.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, “but do you think we could have a real ceremony one day? With our families and everything?”

“Of course.”


	21. Let Me Take a Selfie

**Summary:** Dan gets caught taking a picture of the cute guy who sits behind him during his morning lectures.

**Genre:** au, university

**Warnings:** none :)

**Words:** 778

Dan really, really hated Louise sometimes. Because this was something he would never in a million years have been caught doing if it wasn’t for her. **  
**

Her last text was still open on his phone, as he tossed it between his hands, debating whether he was going to follow through with it’s instructions. He should have never told Louise about the cute boy who sat behind him during his morning lecture.

He shouldn’t really be texting her during class at all, but the class was boring and the teacher’s monotone voice did little to help. Almost all of the students were either asleep or playing on their phones under the table.

And he definitely shouldn’t try to take a picture of said cute boy to send to her. Oh no. Because he was Dan Howell after all, and that was sure to lead to disaster.

Before he could so much as form a reply to her last text, Dan’s phone vibrated softly against his palms, Louise’s new message flashing across the top of the screen.

**Louise: He sits behind you, right? Just take a selfie**

Actually, that might work. No wait, there was no way he was actually going to do that. But the guy was really attractive.

His dyed black hair swept across his face just like Dan’s, however his eyes were piercing blue. And he always had on dorky shirts like pokemon or shit. He was utterly adorable. And Dan was utterly screwed because he didn’t even know the guy’s first name.

Groaning, Dan switched his phone into camera mode. God, this was a bad idea. It would be hard enough to angle his phone to catch the guy in the background, let alone position the phone so that the guy couldn’t see the screen.

Content with the angle he finally found (but not with his face, Christ, he looked rough today) Dan clicked the button, letting out a whoosh of breath when nothing horrible happened. Sending the picture to Louise quickly, Dan couldn’t help but notice just how attractive the guy looked in the picture.

Locking his phone quickly, Dan turned back to the board, hoping to give himself something to distract him from how fast his heart was racing. That could have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

A finger poking his back interrupted Dan’s thoughts and almost sent him jumping into the air.

“You should let me be in the next one,” a voice, god what an attractive voice, said.

“I’m so-sorry,” Dan stuttered, turning to find himself staring into beautiful blue eyes.

“You’re snapchatting, right?” The guy asked, and Dan nodded, grateful for the excuse. “You should let me be in the next one.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, okay,” Dan said quickly, hating how he could feel his cheeks flushing as he opened the app and tapped Louise’s name quickly.

“Your girlfriend?” the guy asked, sounding almost disappointed.

“No!” Dan said too quickly, shaking his head, “just a friend.”

Holding up the camera to take the selfie of him and the guy, who Dan could see was practically leaning all the way across his desk.

However, before he could take the picture, a text from Louise flashed across the top of his screen.

**Louise: you’re right, he is gorgeous. Jealous you sit in front of him and not me! XD**

Dan dropped his phone onto the table as if it burned him. Nope, nope, nope. This was not happening to him. God, now the guy was going to think that he was a total creep. Maybe he hadn’t read it. Dear god, please say that he hadn’t read it.

“So you think I’m gorgeous?” the guy asked, and Dan could feel his cheeks flush even worse than they already had been.

“I-uh-just…” Dan trailed off, unable to meet the other boy’s gaze.

“That’s pretty good luck,” the guy continued, and Dan watched him fiddle with his fringe from the corner of his eye, “since I’ve been debating with myself for the past two weeks on whether I should ask you out or not.”

“Really?” Dan asked, his voice coming out in a surprised squeak.

The guy nodded, “and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I should ask you out. How does coffee sound?”

“Coffee sounds great,” Dan said, rubbing his sweating palms against his jeans, “but- um, what’s your name? Mine’s Dan,” Dan said quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

“My name’s Phil, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

**Dan: I have a coffee date later and owe you big time! Thanks for making me take that picture, Lou**

**Louise: I want all the gossip Daniel Howell**

**Dan: maybe later ;)**


	22. Caught My Eye (All I See is You)

Dan loves ice cream parlors, with their happy pastel color schemes and atmosphere. The punk guy who works behind the counter is just an added bonus. | Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil | Teen and Up | Phan | Words: 1,925

**Hey guys, this is something I’ve been working on for a while and I’m rather proud of it so I hope you like it. I’ve jumped on the bandwagon and couldn’t resist writing a pastel!dan fic. Thanks to[theinsanityplays](http://tmblr.co/mrTsU_iG0eoEU8bu4sAbcMA) for letting me bounce ideas off of her for the first half of this fic! **

–

Dan loved ice cream parlors, with their faded pastel yellow and pinks. They were happy places, home to smiling children and relieved parents. There was one parlor he liked in particular, a small building stuffed between two shops, practically a hole in the wall.

  
But the inside, oh the inside. Yellow and white striped walls, round pink tables and pale blue chairs. The inside was heaven.   
  


And Dan never felt out of place, like his lavender jumper and flower crowns didn’t belong. It was the kind of place that reminded him why he loved all of the pastel colors in the first place.

Something about the building just screamed spring. Something about the building screamed his name. It was the kind of place he’d be happy to live in forever. Not that he could live in an ice cream shop, but someday his house was going to be as happy as those yellow walls.

It was weird, how something as little as ice cream could make him feel accepted, could make him forget about all the horrible things people usually say. No one ever said them inside of the ice cream parlor.

But today, today Dan felt like his sanctuary had been violated because the person wiping sticky ice cream off the counter wasn’t the bubbly girl with the ombré ponytail.. what was her name? Zoe. The person behind the counter wasn’t Zoe.

Instead it was a man, taller than Dan’s slight, eighteen year old frame. His (obviously dyed) black hair was cut in a fringe, covering one of his eyes. Tattoo selves and gauges and a lip ring and a nose ring. He looked startling out of place wearing the bright yellow apron over his all black outfit.

He glanced up, though, when the bell on the door jingled cheerfully to alert the workers of any customer’s presence. Dan felt his cheeks flush when the man’s eyes caught his own. Dan could drown in those eyes.      

The man grinned, and that looked  _really_  out of place compared to the rest of him.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, and Dan can’t help but notice that his voice is deep with a northern accent, and it shouldn’t be as attractive as it is. This boy shouldn’t be as attractive as he is, because he looks like bad news. Dan doesn’t need bad news.

He’s about to reply with the usual, before remembering that this man doesn’t know what his regular order is.

“Just vanilla with sprinkles,” Dan said, studying the floor, waiting for the man to laugh at him. He doesn’t, but Dan can hear him move away to prepare the ice cream.

“Where’s Zoe?” Dan asked, feeling slightly more comfortable addressing the back of the man’s head than his startling eyes.

The man turned back around, handing Dan his ice cream, “why?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, “do you have a crush on her?”

Dan had a feeling that he had meant the question to come across as teasing, not nosy, so Dan responded as such. “Not really, she’s not really my type.”

“Oh,” The man - his name tag said Phil - asked, bending across the counter. “What is your type then?”

“Boys usually,” Dan said, before walking out of the ice cream parlor.

–

Dan was slightly scared to go back to the ice cream parlor because what if that man was a homophobic asshole and he was gonna be a total dick the next time Dan went to the shop.

But that place was his second home, and he couldn’t stay away for long.

He went on a Saturday morning, hoping that Zoe would still be working her usual weekend shift. Dan wasn’t sure why he wanted to avoid the other man so badly, but he was relieved when he opened the door and saw Zoe standing at her usual place behind the counter.

“The usual?”  She asked, the ever present smile already dancing across her lips. Dan nodded, grateful to be around a friendly presence.

“Why weren’t you here the other day?” Dan asked, before realizing that his question was probably personal and none of his business. However, Zoe just grinned even wider (almost as if she had thought no one would notice her absence, as if anyone could miss the towering punk who had replaced her).

“I was visiting my boyfriend,” she said happily, “so Phil said he’d cover my shift. You’ve never met him before?”

Dan shook his head.

“That makes sense he works Friday and Saturday nights, you know, when we get real busy.”

“So anyway,” Dan said, wanting to change the topic for some reason, “you were visiting your boyfriend?”

“Oh yeah, Alfie, he’s great. Lives down in Brighton.” She gushed, then paused, “do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, Dan?”

Dan shook his head again, shuffling his feet. “No, no boyfriend.”

Zoe leaned across the counter, resting her chin in her hands, “I could set you up if you wanted, I bet you’d love Tyler…”

“That’s okay, Zoe, but I appreciate it.”

Zoe shrugged, turning to help the family who had come in behind Dan.

–

Maybe it was weird, how Dan couldn’t stop thinking about that guy - Phil - who had been at the ice cream shop. Dan wasn’t sure why he was so bothered, at the idea of there being this other worker. He wasn’t niave enough to believe that Zoe was the sole worker there.

No, it was something else.

Maybe it was how the guy looked, how much he contrasted to the quiet beauty of the parlor. He’d been beautiful too, though. In a harsher, almost violent way.

Maybe he wasn’t bothered at all, maybe that was the problem. Maybe he was irritated, maybe he was.. pleased?

Dan wasn’t sure what he was feeling, which was part of the problem. Because a part of him felt betrayed, like his peace had been broken. But the other part of him, the other part of him was elated.

This guy, he was a mystery. Why would he work at an ice cream parlor, what his tattoos meant.

And maybe, just maybe, he was a mystery that Dan wanted to solve.

–

The next time he went to the ice cream shop, Dan was almost disappointed that it was Zoe standing behind the counter. Then he scolded himself because he definitely didn’t need to be interested in Phil.

Phil.

“Hey Zoe,” he greeted, making a point to start using her name more often. Maybe they could be friends.

“Hey,” she replied, and Dan realized that while she might know his order, she probably had no idea what his name was.

“Dan,” he supplied, adjusting his flower crown from where it was nestled amongst his chocolate curls.

“Dan,” she said with a smile, “that’s better than hobbit head, I suppose.”

Dan felt his nose wrinkle, “I hate my curls,” he groaned.

Zoe shook her head, “they suit you,” she protested.

Leaning across the counter, Zoe let her voice drop to a whisper (though the shop was completely empty). “So I had to work a double shift yesterday with Phil, he wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Me?” Dan asked, his voice sqeaking.

“Oh yeah, the ‘cute boy with the flower crown’,” Zoe said, her eyes twinkling, “I think he wanted to ask you out. You know if you wanted me to set you up with Phil instead of Tyler, you could have just told me. Didn’t really think he was your type.”

“He’s not,” Dan said, studying the floor.

“Oh,” Zoe said, sounding a little sad, “should I tell him not to waste his time, then?”

“No!” Dan exclaimed, “that’s not what I meant! I mean, he’s not my usual type.”

“Do you want his number, Dan?” Zoe asked with a knowing smirk, pulling a piece of paper out of the pocket of her apron.

“Maybe,” Dan admitted sheepishly, then he smirked, “but you can tell him that he has to give it to me himself.”

Zoe laughed, filling the air of the ice cream shop, “I will do, you just make sure you come Friday night, yeah?”

“Okay,” Dan agreed, “I’ll be here.”

–

Dan was more nervous than he cared to admit, he had taken extra time with his appearance and his fingers were constantly unlocking and locking his phone, giving away just how nervous he actually was. Which was stupid, because he already knew that Phil liked him (or at least found him attractive, according to Zoe).

Pushing open the door to the ice cream shop, Dan allowed himself to take comfort in the familiar surroundings and cheerful tinkling of the bells above the door. Glancing over the counter he saw that Phil’s back was turned, a cone for one of the many children already in line. Zoe stood beside him, at the cash register, and she smiled when she saw Dan.

Dan held his fingers to his lips, slipping into the line. Taking advantage of the parents in front of him, Dan kept himself out of Phil’s sight, a teasing smile on his lips.   

The parents in front of him moved on to pay, giving Phil (who looked frazzled) the chance to finally catch sight of Dan.

“Dan, hey,” he said, sounding a little breathless. Phil leaned across the counter, the pokemon t-shirt he was wearing as well as the casual pose made him look much less intimidating than he had the other day.

“Hi,” Dan said, hating both how shy he sounded and the blush that was creeping across his face.

“Your usual?” Phil asked, grinning cheekily.

“How did you-”

“Zoe,” Phil replied before Dan could even finish his question.

Dan felt his grin grow even wider, mirroring Phil’s pose, Dan leaned across the counter. “I heard that you were asking about me.”

Phil blushed, the stark red contrasting with his pale skin, “You’re intriguing,” he said at last, glancing away.

Dan bit his lip, “I am?” He asked, genuinely confused. He was far from interesting.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Phil asked suddenly, “you’re the most intriguing person in the world.”

Dan glanced down at the counter space between them, his blush creeping further across his cheeks. “I believe you have something for me,” he said at last, in an obvious attempt to change the conversation.

Luckily Phil didn’t push, instead he grinned and reached into his jean pocket. “I was told that you wanted this from my own two hands” he said, chuckling.

Dan reached up, adjusting his flower crown self consciously, “I wouldn’t have believed it otherwise.”

“I’m offended,” Zoe called, making both boy’s grin though they both chose to ignore her.

“Why not?” Phil asked with a smirk, “am I really too good to be true.”

“Yes,” Dan said quickly, reaching the rest of the way across the counter to press a soft, quick kiss to Phil’s lips.

The metal of the other boy’s lip ring was cool against Dan’s lips, and he expected it to be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. It felt right.

“I think that’s you,” Phil said, staring at Dan with wide blue eyes.

Fighting to hold back his grin, Dan left the line, walking toward the door (if he was sauntering his hips a little more than usual, well..).

“Call me,” Phil called, just as Dan pushed open the door.

“I will,” Dan replied, and he knew without a doubt that he was going to.

The next time Dan Howell walked into the ice cream shop, he had a boyfriend.


	23. I Fell in Love [But Only When I Met You]

**Phil finds Dan playing the piano in the back of the music store, after he obviously broke in. So naturally Phil agrees to give him a ride up to Manchester. | AU, Fluff | Teen and Up | Implied Smut | 2,504 words**

 

The car started with a jerk, making Phil instinctively wrap his hands even tighter around the steering wheel. He had hardly driven before, living in the center of London left little requirement for it. Still, it was times like these when he was going to visit his parents up in Manchester that he regretted not doing it more often. It was almost alien, he was  _far_  more comfortable being the passenger. Still, even driving the unfamiliar metal box was better than riding the train the whole way. And it would stimulate his brain, if nothing else. **  
**

But the early England morning meant that the air hung thick with a heavy fog and the threat of rain. Pushing his glasses up higher on his nose, Phil squinted his eyes and resigned himself to the promise of strained eyes later. He really ought to make his yearly visit up to Manchester later in the year, or perhaps even in the summer. Anything would be better than the damp October air. But October was a boring, empty month, when he actually had time to escape his busy work schedule (the tiny music store he worked at and University kept him far busier than he’d care to admit).

The road stretched before him, a daunting river of grey. Letting out a frustrated groan, Phil reached up to ruffle his ebony fringe. He just had to stop at the store to pick up his jacket he’d forgotten Friday night, and then he could be off.

It didn’t take long for Phil to adjust to the car controls, though his hands gripped the steering wheel far too tight and his back was as straight as a board. He was a nervous wreck, and he’d surely feel the pain after a few hours of driving.

Half an hour of city driving later, Phil was feeling ready to turn the car back around and head home. He’d just reached the store, and he should have just walked over late last night and saved himself the time. There was nowhere to park and the traffic had been hell. Just the top of the cake on Phil’s already shitty day.

He ought to have been excited, Phil reckoned, as he was going to visit his family who he hadn’t seen in ages. And he would be, as soon as he was back in the familiar territory of the north. No, it was the endless miles between that Phil was dreading. Pushing open the door to the music shop, Phil resigned himself to his bad mood, it was early and foggy and he had to drive. He was allowed a little self pity.

Phil unlocked the door to the music shop, thankful that the owner had given him a key a long time ago. The bell above the door jingled cheerfully, serving only to darken his mood. All he had to do was find his jacket, then he could leave.

He glanced around the front of the small shop, searching for the familiar maroon of his bomber jacket. He was certain he’d left it on the counter…

However his inner musings were interrupted by the soft sound of piano music coming from the back room. It was soft, classical, maybe Chopin. Though Phil was hardly educated in the finer ways of piano playing, he could tell that it was good.

But who in their right mind would have snuck into the back of a music store at nearly six in the morning just to play the piano? Even without venturing further into the back of the store Phil knew what he would find. The mysterious person sitting, his or her back toward Phil as their fingers darted across the keys, the sound echoing around the tiny practice room no one had used for years.

But another part of him, the less logical one, whispered of ghosts and other supernatural creatures that could be haunting the music shop. Cursing himself for even thinking something as stupid as that, Phil took a few steps forward, forcing himself to follow the noise back to it’s source.

He’d been right, of course, a boy sat at the piano. He was clad in all black, as if he was trying to blend into the shadows around him, and his tanned fingers contrasted with the stark white of the keys.

He appeared lost in the music, staring down at the piano with such a look of intense concentration. No sheet music sat in front of him, whatever he was playing was learned by ear or simply memorized.

The last note faded away softly, a silence falling around the tiny room. Phil wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, interrupt the boy and kick him out, call the owner or the police, or just leave and let him continue to play. Before he could make up his mind, the boy turned as if to leave but froze like a deer in headlights when he noticed Phil standing awkwardly in the doorway.

He was attractive, with brown hair cut in a style achingly familiar and Phil fought the urge to ruffle his own. He had caramel eyes and a smirk playing on his lips. He looked to be a bit younger than Phil, possibly verging into the territory of too young with his baby-like face and doe shaped eyes.

“Christ,” the boy said, “you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I don’t think you’re meant to be here,” Phil said in reply, staring openly at the boy in confusion.

The boy shrugged, “no I suppose not. You’re meant to open the shop, I imagine, I must have played longer than I thought.”

Phil shook his head, “I was just grabbing my jacket,” he said, unsure as to why he was saying anything at all. “How did you get in?”

“The back door, the lock’s broken,” the boy said, as if that was a completely normal thing to say.

“So?” Phil asked, his eyebrows raising in disbelief, “that doesn’t mean that you can just walk in!”

“Listen, I’ll get out of your hair, okay?” The boy said, bending over to pick up a jacket Phil had failed to notice (and giving Phil a pleasant view of an extremely attractive ass). Phil shook his head, he  _definitely_  shouldn’t be staring at this kinda weird, maybe crazy, boy’s ass.

“But why were you here?” Phil asked, blocking the doorway.

“What is this, twenty questions?” The guy asked with a scoff, “I’m leaving, okay? Then you never have to see me again.”

“What if I want to?” The words are out of Phil’s mouth before he realizes what he’s saying and his brain can catch up to his mouth.

The boy raised his eyebrows, “I highly doubt that,” he muttered, “no one ever does.”

“I do,” Phil repeated, more adamant than before, though he was still unsure as to why he wanted to get to know the mysterious boy who played piano in the early hours of the morning.

“You don’t even know my name,” the boy said, seeming to be a arguing with himself more than Phil.

“So tell me,” Phil thought that maybe he was drunk, though he’d had nothing to drink. It was like the boy himself was intoxicating, Phil felt dizzy and tipsy and he certainly wasn’t acting how he normally did.

“It’s Dan,” the boy said, stepping forward so that they were on the verge of being too close.

“Phil,” Phil said, unsure if he should offer a handshake or a fist bump or something.

“Why do you want to get to know me, Phil?” Dan asked, looking genuinely confused.

Phil shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t either.”

A silence fell between them, and Phil really needed to get going soon but he found that he didn’t want to leave this strange boy behind.

“In a rush?” Dan asked, obviously noticing Phil glancing at the door,  "it’s okay. I get it.“

"No, it’s just-” Phil searched for the words to explain, “I’m meant to be going to Manchester to visit my family.” The ‘I don’t want to leave’ died on his lips.

Dan raised his eyebrows, “you’re going to Manchester? How convenient, I’m meant to go look at a University up there. Maybe you can give me a ride…” Dan trailed off, looking at Phil with hopeful eyes. As if Phil was going to say no.

“Come along then, just, I’m a bit rusty at driving. Fair warning,” Phil said, leading the way out of the shop.

–

Maybe Phil was being stupid, letting a total stranger into the car with him. What if Dan was a serial killer?

He probably wasn’t, Dan didn’t exactly seem like a serial killer.

But it wasn’t like Phil to make these kind of irrational decisions, it wasn’t like Phil to be spontaneous. But Dan was the first thing to break the boring monotone that had become his life in ages, so Phil decided to ignore the parts of him that were cursing him for a fool.

–

Dan was silent in the passenger seat, nodding along to Fallout Boy as the music blasted through the car speakers while he stared out the window.

Phil was trying to keep his eyes on the road, but they kept drifting over to the boy sitting next to him. It was bad, having a distraction when he barely knew what he was doing as it was. Dan was quiet, maybe the other boy was shy or maybe he just didn’t know what to fill the silence with. Phil wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to press (not that he’d know what to say either).

“I just had a thought,” Phil started, only for Dan to cut him off.

“Thinking? Why on Earth would you want to do that?” His voice was dry with sarcasm, and Phil bit back a chuckle.

“Do you want to stop somewhere and pick up your stuff?” Phil continued, Dan hadn’t exactly had any luggage with him at the music shop, and Phil didn’t know what to make of that.

Dan shrugged, “I’m okay,” he said, “I’ll just steal some of your stuff,” he teased, but Phil tensed at the comment (he hadn’t even considered the fact that Dan could steal from him). Dan seemed to notice Phil tensing up, because he frowned.

“I’m just kidding,” he said, sounding sad, “I wouldn’t actually actually do that.”

“I believe you,” Phil said, even though he wasn’t quite sure why he believed the other boy. There was just a gut feeling, it wasn’t something Phil could explain.

“Do you think..” Dan started to ask, turning to fully face Phil, “that everything happens for a reason?”

“I don’t know,” Phil answered truthfully, “sometimes I wonder about that.”

“I think I met you for a reason,” Dan said softly, though Phil wasn’t sure he was meant to hear.

“I think that the really important things happen for a reason,” Phil finally said, biting back a grin.

Maybe Dan was one of his really important things.

–

Phil wrapped his hand around the cup of coffee he had just purchased. A few hours on the road had been enough, and Phil desperately needed a rest so he pulled over at a service station and treated Dan to coffee.

“I just.. black is too a color,” Dan said, continuing their conversation from inside the car.

“It’s a shade,” Phil protested, “you have to pick an actual favorite color.”

Dan pouted, making his young face look even younger, “whatever,” he said, making Phil smirk. “You’re just being a spoilsport.”

Phil gasped, pretending to be offended, “Daniel, how rude.”

“Hey, Phillip, I never told you that my full name was Daniel!” Dan said with a laugh.

“It wasn’t hard to guess,” Phil said, joining in with Dan’s laughter.

Dan fell silent, studying the table. He but his lip, looking nervous, “look, Phil, I should tell you something.”

Phil narrowed his eyes, what on Earth could the other boy have to tell him?

“I.. uh,” Dan started, not meeting Phil’s gaze, “I'mnotreallygoingtoManchesterforUniversity,” he said quickly, without stopping for breath.

“Oh,” Phil said, his mouth forming a small 'o’. “Why did you come then?” He asked, unable to help his curiosity.

Dan raised one hand to his mouth, chewing on his thumb absentmindedly (probably a nervous tick). “I just really liked you, and I didn’t want you to leave like everybody else,” he said quietly.

“Dan,” Phil said, just as softly, reaching over to pull Dan’s hand away from his mouth and wrap it in his own.

“It’s stupid, I know,” Dan said, “I don’t even know you.”

“It isn’t stupid,” Phil reassured him, wondering if it would be a bad idea to kiss the younger boy.

“I just,” Dan waved his free arm around vaguely.

Not giving himself time to talk himself out of it, Phil reached across the table, pressing their lips together gently. It was nothing, a peck, but it sent shivers down his spine and when he pulled away Dan was staring at him with wide eyes.

Dan reached across the table, grabbing the front of Phil’s jumper in his hands and pulling him forward so that their lips collided in a kiss much deeper than the last.

Dan tasted a little like coffee and a little like cinnamon, and Phil thought that maybe it was his favorite taste in the world.

–

They ended up stopping at a hotel, mainly because Dan couldn’t keep his hands off of Phil and it was making it rather difficult for Phil to drive.

Their room wasn’t the best, as they didn’t have much cash between the two of them, but at that moment it was the best thing Phil had ever seen.

Dan’s hands were creeping up his shirt and Phil and his fingers hooked in the waist of Dan’s jeans.

“Are you sure,” Phil whispered, his voice ghosting over Dan’s neck.

The younger shivered at the sensation, but he was pulling Phil’s shirt over Phil’s head. “Yes,” he whispered, bending to capture Phil’s lips with his own, “I’m sure.”

–

Later, when their lying in bed with Dan’s head on Phil’s bare chest and Phil tracing mindless designs onto Dan’s stomach, Phil can’t help but ask the question he’d wanted to know from the start.

“Why do you break into the music store, Dan?”

Dan picked his head off of Phil’s chest, turning to lock his brown eyes with Phil’s blue ones.

“Because I don’t want anyone to hear me play, but I was always hoping someone would.”

Phil was silent, pondering Dan’s answer, “I heard you play,” he said at last, “you’re really good.”

Dan smiled, “you know they say pianists have good fingers,” he said cheekily.

Phil blushed, “I know, and I have to agree,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to Dan’s lips.

–

Phil’s parents ended up being pleasantly surprised when they opened the door to reveal their son and someone he proudly presented as 'my boyfriend’.


	24. Remember Me

**Remember Me** | Teens Dan Howell and Phil Lester made a pact to get married when Phil turned thirty, if they were both still single, not long before they lost touch for good. Today is Phil Lester’s birthday, and all he really wants to do it get back in touch with his old friend.  | Phan | Teen |  **Written for**[insanityplaysfics](http://tmblr.co/mQxVpu1n0BLwuJmEYdXE5Xg) | Words:  2,423

**Disclaimer: I am not claiming that this is real etc. ect.**

**A/N: Even though it’s not technically ‘til tomorrow, this is an early birthday present for my friend[theinsanityplays](http://tmblr.co/mrTsU_iG0eoEU8bu4sAbcMA) (Happy birthday Eliza!!!!) I hope you enjoy :)**

Phil stared at the address written on the slip of paper in his hand. Was he really going to do this? It was stupid, he probably wasn’t even single anymore - if he remembered the deal at all. After all, it had been twelve years. A lot has changed over twelve years.

Phil had a job, an apartment, had moved to London after attending the University of Manchester. Somewhere along all of that, the two of them had lost touch.

Dan Howell.

For a year the two of them had been inseparable, the best of friends. Then Phil had graduated high school while Dan was only starting year ten. They had kept in touch for a while through phone calls and video chats but it wasn’t the same. After a while the phone calls faded away.

Phil hadn’t seen Dan Howell since he was eighteen years old. Now it was his thirtieth birthday, and for some reason Dan Howell was the only person he wanted to see.

No - there was a real reason. It wasn’t just a spontaneous decision on Phil’s part.

–

_“You think we’ll be friends forever?” Dan asked, from where he was laid out on the air mattress next to Phil’s bed._

_“Of course we will,” Phil said, his voice had been so sure, “and in a couple years you can come up to Manchester University too.” Phil propped himself up so that he could look down and meet Dan’s gaze._

_“It’s just.. you’re my best friend, and I don’t know how I’m going to go so long without seeing you,” Dan said quietly, playing with a loose thread on the blanket. His voice sounded like it cracked, Phil hoped he didn’t cry. If Dan started crying, then Phil was sure he would too._

_“Hey we can call and video chat, it’s not the end of the world,” Phil said, slipping off his bed so that he was lying on the air mattress next to Dan._

_“Yeah, I guess,” Dan sniffled, curling up next to Phil. “But what if you meet someone cooler than me? Or start dating? What if you forget all about me?”_

_“Not possible,” Phil said, shaking his head. There was no way either of those things would happen. After all, he could never forget about the boy he loved. Not that he would tell Dan that. It would either make things incredibly awkward if Dan didn’t return his feelings or make leaving ten times harder if he did._

_Dan didn’t look all that reassured, but he didn’t say anything._

_“If anything, I have to worry about you replacing me,” Phil joked._

_“Not possible,” Dan said quietly, mirroring Phil’s words._

_“Tell you what,” Phil said quietly, running on of his hands through Dan’s hair, “if by the time we turn thirty, neither of us is in a serious relationship then we have to marry each other. Now we can’t lose touch.”_

_“You turn thirty or I turn thirty?” Dan asked, but he was smiling now._

_“I turn thirty.”_

_“Deal,” Dan said with a grin. “Now you’re stuck with me.”_

–

Phil hadn’t seen Dan in nearly twelve years. He couldn’t exactly show up out of the blue and say ‘hey remember when we were kids and you promised to marry me if I was still single when I turned thirty?’ because that would be kind of creepy. Except he didn’t have a better plan.

He’d gotten Dan’s address from Chris, who Phil had only gotten back in touch when he went to visit his family for Christmas. It turned out that Dan and his family had moved back to Reading not long after Phil left for college, so it wasn’t like they could see each other for holidays or anything.

But what were the odds that they had both ended up moving to London? It was a big city, of course, and they had both always talked about it…. but…

Phil was stupid to think it was anything more than that, they had barely been friends for over a year. Sure, they were close, but they never dated (even though Phil wished they had). It wasn’t like the universe or fate or destiny bringing them back together. No, it was Phil being an idiot. But he was newly thirty and seemingly permanently single and desperate for any piece of his past he could clutch onto.

At least that was his excuse.

–

Phil raised his hand to knock, then paused before he could actually touch the wooden door. He had debated with himself on the whole train ride here, if he should actually go through with his stupid plan.

But what did he have to lose? Even if Dan was already in a relationship or something, then at least he would have gotten back in touch with an old friend.

He knocked on the door.

–

Dan was staring at his calendar. For some reason the date seemed important, familiar. But it wasn’t a holiday, or his mum’s birthday (or his birthday, or his brother’s birthday, or.. anything really).

Shrugging to himself, Dan turned back into the kitchen to put his (now empty) bowl of lucky charms into the sink.

It was another day of.. nothing, frankly. He didn’t have any plans, and while he could upload or film a video for his YouTube channel, he didn’t particularly feel like it. The flat was too quiet, like it always was, and today felt different.

Today felt important.

It wasn’t until he checked his email that he remembered why. Because there is was, in bold letters. A Facebook notification, of all things. Normally he deleted them without even opening them. But this one.. this one made him pause.

**Today is Phil Lester’s birthday**

Of course. Phil’s thirtieth birthday, that’s why today felt different. A part of Dan wondered if Phil remembered that deal that they had made, when they were young and stupid and so in love even if neither of them ever mentioned it. Before they knew who they were. The same part wondered if Phil was dating someone, or married, and if the deal would have been void anyway.

He hadn’t really thought about Phil in ages, not since the Facebook friend request oh so many years ago. Half tempted to go creep on Phil’s page (merely to check out his relationship status), Dan opened a new tab.

However, before he could get any further than logging in, a knock on the door interrupted his inner musings on whether or not Phil had aged well. (He probably had, Dan decided as he stood to see what the postman was delivering now. Honestly he was lucky that his flat was on the ground floor so that he didn’t have to walk fifty miles of stairs every morning to get his packages.)

–

_Dan twisted his hands together, trying not to cry. “Phil- I… I want to tell you something,” he said, his voice cracking. He had only known the older boy for a couple of months but he’d never.. connected with anyone the way that he had with Phil._

_Phil looked over, his blue eyes wide with worry. They were sitting on the swing set in their local park. “Dan, what’s wrong?” His voice was soft, caring, and it made Dan want to cry even harder. What would Phil think of him when he said…_

_“I think I’m bisexual,” he blurted, before clutching his hands over his mouth._

_Phil’s worried expression shifted into the smile that Dan loved so much, “I thought you were going to say you killed someone,” he said as he stood and knelt in front of the swing Dan was sitting on. “Can I tell you a secret?”_

_Dan nodded slowly, watching his friend carefully._

_“I am too,” Phil whispered, before drawing Dan into a hug, “and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”_

_Dan’s other confession could wait, he supposed, as he buried his face in Phil’s shoulder._

–

Phil didn’t recognize the face that opened the door. Except he did. Because while it was alien, it was achingly familiar. Because the little boy he had known was all grown up.

Dan’s mouth was forming a circle, like he was going to say something, but then he closed it. He closed his eyes, then opened them, and Phil wondered if Dan thought he was dreaming.

“ _Phil_?” Dan finally asked, as if he couldn’t get any words out.

Phil shifted uncomfortably, he hadn’t really thought this far ahead. And Dan was even cuter than he remembered with his brown hair and chocolate eyes and a dimple and… and… and then they were hugging. And Dan was taller than Phil was now, and it felt wrong because Dan had always been the smaller of the two.

“It’s good to see you,” Phil finally settled for, when they pulled away and Dan was still looking at him like he was a ghost.

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked, as if they both didn’t remember the importance of this particular day.

“Can’t I visit an old friend without any ulterior motives?” Phil asked innocently.

“Yes,” Dan responded with a laugh, “would you like to come inside, Phil Lester?”

“I’d love to.”

–

Dan had almost died of shock when he opened his door to reveal Phil Lester, almost as if his thoughts had summoned him. He looked good, perhaps better than Dan had imagined.

Still, it was weird to think that Phil Lester was walking through his flat.

“How have you been?” Phil asked as he followed Dan into the lounge, as if it wasn’t the lamest thing he could have possibly said.

Dan bit his tongue to keep the sarcastic comment about not wanting to cover twelve years worth of drama to himself, he didn’t know if Phil would find it particularly funny. “I’ve been good,” he settled for. “I’m lucky that YouTube took off the way that it did.”

Phil nodded, “Chris told me about that.” Ah, Chris Kendell, so that was how Phil had gotten his address.

“And how have you been, Phil Lester?” Dan asked, studying the boy he had once known so well.

“Good, I guess,” Phil replied with a shrug.

“Oh, and happy birthday,” Dan added quickly. “It’s your thirtieth, right?” He already knew damn well just how old Phil was, but the blush spreading across the older boy’s face was worth playing dumb.

“Yeah,” Phil said quietly, suddenly becoming quite interested in the floor.

They both knew why he was here.

–

Dan had offered to make tea, which Phil had accepted. Maybe a little Earl Grey would help calm his nerves. Now that he was actually here, with Dan Howell actually standing in front of him, Phil wasn’t sure what to say. He hadn’t exactly planned what he was going to say, half of him had expected Dan to slam the door in his face.

Wrapping his hands around the warm mug, Phil studied Dan carefully. Chewing on his lip, Phil couldn’t help but blurt out “Why did you even let me in? If I were you, I would have slammed the door in my face.”

Dan smiled, though Phil couldn’t tell if it was from amusement or whether it was bitter. It shocked him to realize that he was no longer fluent in the many faces and emotions of Dan Howell. “Why would I do that?” He asked, and Phil was glad to detect a teasing tone to his voice, “when we have so much to catch up on?”

Phil let himself to smile - just slightly. “I suppose we do,” he allowed.

–

_“You’re ridiculous,” Dan said with a laugh, pushing Phil’s shoulder._

_“What?” Phil asked, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth as he smiled. Dan really hated when he did that, because it was so fucking cute and it wasn’t fair._

_Dan shook his head, then laughed again when Phil tripped and nearly stumbled off the edge of the pavement._

_“Need help walking?” Dan asked slowly, sarcasm practically dripping from his voice._

_“I guess I do,” Phil said with a shrug, then he reached over and wrapped his arm around Dan’s shoulders, “I guess you have to help me then.”_

_“What a shame,” Dan said with a laugh, but his cheeks were burning scarlet._

–

It wasn’t until they’d been talking for a handful of hours (where the fuck had Dan’s morning went?) that one of them brought up  _the subject_. Until that point they had been catching up on everything they had missed in the years since they had seen each other.

“So,” Dan asked casually, “are you seeing anyone?”

“No, actually,” Phil stammered, his face betraying him and turning a violent shade of red. “Are you, are you seeing anyone?”

“Nope,” Dan said slowly, popping the 'p’.

“That’s surprising,” Phil admitted, “somebody like you, I would have thought you’d have people jumping all over you.”

“Oh, I do,” Dan said with a laugh, “but I’m terribly afraid that I gave my heart away a long time ago.”

“Oh,” Phil said softly (sadly?).

“It’s a shame that they never really knew how I felt though,” Dan continued casually - too casually.

“Are you sure that they didn’t?” Phil asked, and Dan thought he looked like he was finally grasping just who Dan was talking about.

“Well they never said anything, and then we lost touch so I guess I’ll never really know,” Dan said, “but we did make a promise that if we were both single when he turned thirty that we had to get married, I wonder if he’ll make good on his promise.”

Phil stood up, kneeling in front of Dan’s chair. “Dan Howell, I have loved you since I was eighteen. I know that it was a stupid promise we made as teenagers, but I’m going to ask anyway. Daniel Howell, will you marry me?”

“Not until you take me on a date, you spoon,” Dan said with a laugh, but he was already grabbing Phil’s shirt to pull him up to meet his lips.

–

_The library was empty except for that one kid, the black haired, blue eyed boy.. Dan glanced around, he could sit anywhere. But he was lonely, and that other kid looked lonely, and it was the first day of school. Nobody should be lonely on their first day of school, Dan decided, as he moved to sit next to the boy._

_Besides, maybe he’d actually make a friend._


End file.
